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How to speak more confidently and persuasively | Matt Abrahams (professor, podcast host, author, speaker)

Mar 31, 2024

In this engaging conversation, Matt Abrahams, a communication expert and Stanford professor, shares his expertise on speaking with confidence and clarity. He discusses the concept of 'daring to be dull' and how visualization can ease speaking anxiety. Abrahams introduces practical frameworks like the WHAT structure for toasts and the ADD approach for Q&As. He also emphasizes breathing techniques and the importance of reframing negative self-talk. With insights into mastering spontaneous speech, Matt equips listeners with tools for impactful communication.

01:11:57

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Episode guests

Matt Abrahams

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Quick takeaways

Approach small talk with genuine curiosity, focusing on others' interests.

Utilize structured communication frameworks like 'What So What Now What' for coherence.

Implement calming techniques and regular practice to enhance speaking confidence.

Deep dives

Principles for Small Talk

Small talk plays a critical role in forming relationships. Approach small talk with the mindset of being interested in others rather than trying to be overly interesting yourself. Empathy and genuine curiosity go a long way in making small talk enjoyable and meaningful. Remember to maintain balanced levels of disclosure in conversations, ensuring that both parties feel comfortable and engaged.

Communication Structures and Memorization

03:11

Answering Q: ADD Answer, Detail example, Describe the relevance

02:56

Small Talk: Be interested, not interesting

01:12

Dare to Be Dull: Improvisation for Better Communication

02:07

Intro

5min

Mastering Public Speaking Anxiety

20min

Breathing and Confidence: The Power of Embodied Cognition

7min

Humor and Honesty in Childbirth Reflections

2min

Mastering Spontaneous Speech

9min

Mastering Communication Skills

20min

Mastering Communication: Q&A and Apologies

7min

Empowering Communication: A Call to Action for Improvement

2min

Matt Abrahams is a renowned communication expert, with decades of teaching, coaching, and consulting experience. At Stanford University, he teaches a business school class on strategic communication. Beyond academia, he’s a sought-after keynote speaker and consultant, guiding presenters from IPO road shows to prestigious platforms like TED, the World Economic Forum, and the United Nations. His acclaimed podcast, Think Fast, Talk Smart, garners millions of listeners, and his book, Think Faster, Talk Smarter, equips speakers with practical skills for impromptu success. With a previous bestseller, Speaking Up Without Freaking Out, Matt has empowered countless individuals to speak confidently and authentically. In our conversation, we discuss:

• The concept of “daring to be dull”

• The power of visualization to desensitize oneself to speaking situations

• Managing negative self-talk

• The WHAT structure for delivering toasts (why we are here, how you are connected, anecdote, thanks)

• The ADD structure for Q&As (answer, detailed example, describe relevance)

• Breathing techniques to reduce anxiety, such as the double exhale

• Concrete speaking structures like What? So What? Now What? and the Four I’s (information, impact, invitation, implications)

• Much more

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Find the transcript and references at: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/how-to-speak-more-confidently-and

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Where to find Matt Abrahams:

• X: https://twitter.com/tftsthepod

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maabrahams/

• Website: https://mattabrahams.com/

• Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ll0MwobDt1JW9gYaOONEo

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Where to find Lenny:

• Newsletter: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com

• X: https://twitter.com/lennysan

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lennyrachitsky/

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In this episode, we cover:

(00:00) Matt’s background

(04:50) Techniques for managing anxiety in public speaking

(10:57) Dare to be dull

(13:40) Reframing anxiety as excitement

(16:08) Using mantras to boost confidence

(18:45) Managing negative self-talk

(20:03) Normalizing speaking anxiety

(23:12) Using conversation as a communication technique

(24:52) Using the double-exhale breathing technique

(28:29) Getting present-oriented

(29:46) Using tongue twisters

(33:34) Broad advice for speaking on the spot

(38:35) The PREP structure

(38:59) The What? So What? Now What? structure

(42:10) Toastmasters and improv

(45:31) Getting better at small talk

(51:05) The importance of sharing back

(52:33) Giving feedback

(56:31) Improving toasts and tributes

(01:02:57) Mastering Q&A sessions

(01:07:25) Apologizing effectively

(01:09:29) Closing thoughts

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Production and marketing by https://penname.co/. For inquiries about sponsoring the podcast, email podcast@lennyrachitsky.com.

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Lenny may be an investor in the companies discussed.

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