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How to speak more confidently and persuasively | Matt Abrahams (professor, podcast host, author, speaker)

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Mar 31, 2024

Guest

Matt Abrahams

In this engaging conversation, Matt Abrahams, a communication expert and Stanford professor, shares his expertise on speaking with confidence and clarity. He discusses the concept of 'daring to be dull' and how visualization can ease speaking anxiety. Abrahams introduces practical frameworks like the WHAT structure for toasts and the ADD approach for Q&As. He also emphasizes breathing techniques and the importance of reframing negative self-talk. With insights into mastering spontaneous speech, Matt equips listeners with tools for impactful communication.

01:11:57

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Episode notes

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ADVICE

Visualization for Desensitization

Visualize yourself speaking successfully, including the audience's positive reception.
This desensitizes you to the experience, like a pilot using a flight simulator.

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ADVICE

Dare to Be Dull

Focus on connection, not perfection, when speaking.
'Dare to be dull' by simply answering the question or giving feedback directly.

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ADVICE

Reframe Anxiety as Excitement

Reframe anxiety as excitement.
Your body responds similarly to both, so change your mindset to feel more positive.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Mastering Public Speaking Anxiety

05:22 • 20min

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Breathing and Confidence: The Power of Embodied Cognition

24:55 • 7min

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Humor and Honesty in Childbirth Reflections

31:45 • 2min

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Mastering Spontaneous Speech

33:34 • 9min

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Mastering Communication Skills

42:09 • 20min

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Mastering Communication: Q&A and Apologies

01:02:37 • 7min

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Empowering Communication: A Call to Action for Improvement

01:09:29 • 2min

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Speaking up without freaking out

Matt Abrahams

This book by Matt Abrahams offers a comprehensive approach to managing public speaking anxiety. It includes more than 50 techniques based on scientifically supported theories and evidence. The book covers various aspects such as cognitive reframing, nonverbal presence, audience connection, and structuring presentations. It also provides guidance on creating a personalized anxiety management plan and includes appendices for managing anxiety in different presentation scenarios, such as conference calls and Q&A sessions.

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie

First published in 1936, 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie is a timeless guide to improving interpersonal skills. The book is divided into four main sections: Six Ways to Make People Like You, Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking, and Nine Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment. Carnegie's principles emphasize the importance of genuine interest in others, active listening, and avoiding criticism and argument. The book offers practical advice on how to build strong relationships, communicate effectively, and influence others by aligning their self-interest with yours. It has been a cornerstone of personal development and business success for generations[2][3][5].

Think Faster, Talk Smarter

Matt Abrahams

In 'Think Faster, Talk Smarter', Matt Abrahams offers tangible, actionable skills to help even the most anxious speakers succeed in spontaneous communication. The book provides strategies for managing anxiety, responding to the mood of the room, and making content concise, relevant, compelling, and memorable. Drawing on stories from his clients and students, Abrahams offers best practices for navigating Q&A sessions, job interviews, providing effective feedback, making small talk, fixing faux pas, persuading others, and handling other impromptu speaking tasks.

Matt Abrahams is a renowned communication expert, with decades of teaching, coaching, and consulting experience. At Stanford University, he teaches a business school class on strategic communication. Beyond academia, he’s a sought-after keynote speaker and consultant, guiding presenters from IPO road shows to prestigious platforms like TED, the World Economic Forum, and the United Nations. His acclaimed podcast, Think Fast, Talk Smart, garners millions of listeners, and his book, Think Faster, Talk Smarter, equips speakers with practical skills for impromptu success. With a previous bestseller, Speaking Up Without Freaking Out, Matt has empowered countless individuals to speak confidently and authentically. In our conversation, we discuss:

• The concept of “daring to be dull”

• The power of visualization to desensitize oneself to speaking situations

• Managing negative self-talk

• The WHAT structure for delivering toasts (why we are here, how you are connected, anecdote, thanks)

• The ADD structure for Q&As (answer, detailed example, describe relevance)

• Breathing techniques to reduce anxiety, such as the double exhale

• Concrete speaking structures like What? So What? Now What? and the Four I’s (information, impact, invitation, implications)

• Much more

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Find the transcript and references at: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/how-to-speak-more-confidently-and

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Where to find Matt Abrahams:

• X: https://twitter.com/tftsthepod

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maabrahams/

• Website: https://mattabrahams.com/

• Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ll0MwobDt1JW9gYaOONEo

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Where to find Lenny:

• Newsletter: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com

• X: https://twitter.com/lennysan

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lennyrachitsky/

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In this episode, we cover:

(00:00) Matt’s background

(04:50) Techniques for managing anxiety in public speaking

(10:57) Dare to be dull

(13:40) Reframing anxiety as excitement

(16:08) Using mantras to boost confidence

(18:45) Managing negative self-talk

(20:03) Normalizing speaking anxiety

(23:12) Using conversation as a communication technique

(24:52) Using the double-exhale breathing technique

(28:29) Getting present-oriented

(29:46) Using tongue twisters

(33:34) Broad advice for speaking on the spot

(38:35) The PREP structure

(38:59) The What? So What? Now What? structure

(42:10) Toastmasters and improv

(45:31) Getting better at small talk

(51:05) The importance of sharing back

(52:33) Giving feedback

(56:31) Improving toasts and tributes

(01:02:57) Mastering Q&A sessions

(01:07:25) Apologizing effectively

(01:09:29) Closing thoughts

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Production and marketing by https://penname.co/. For inquiries about sponsoring the podcast, email podcast@lennyrachitsky.com.

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Lenny may be an investor in the companies discussed.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.lennysnewsletter.com/subscribe

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