The Psychology of your 20s

141. How to get over someone you can't stop thinking about

Nov 7, 2023

Struggling to get over someone? This discussion dives into the emotional turmoil of heartbreak and how it can feel all-consuming. Discover the need for emotional closure and learn self-provided techniques to achieve it. The science behind attachment styles sheds light on why we obsess. Explore the benefits of a no-contact strategy and how it can catalyze healing. With practical tips sprinkled throughout, the conversation encourages embracing self-love and focusing on personal growth for a brighter future.

38:56

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Quick takeaways

Emotional closure is crucial for moving on from someone, as our brains need a clear narrative to conclude that chapter and stop searching for answers.

Our tendency to romanticize the past and focus on positive memories hinders our ability to let go and elongates the healing process.

Deep dives

Lack of Emotional Closure

When we cannot stop thinking about someone from our past, it is often because we lack emotional closure. Our brains need to create a structured narrative to understand why the relationship ended and to conclude that chapter. Without closure, our minds remain uncertain and keep searching for answers, leading to persistent thoughts and memories of that person.

Understanding the Psychological Need for Closure in Getting Over Someone

02:32

The Trick to Getting Over Someone You Can't Stop Thinking About

02:15

Understanding the Difficulty of Letting Go

02:54

Emotionally Detaching and Investing in Yourself

02:53

Intro

3min

Navigating Emotional Closure Post-Breakup

15min

Healing from Heartbreak: Understanding Attachment and Moving On

8min

Embracing Emotional Freedom: The No Contact Strategy

13min

Navigating Heartbreak: Embracing Self-Love and Healing

6min

We all know the feeling of wanting desperately to move on from someone - an ex, a past love, situationship, someone we know we shouldn't be with - but being unable to stop obsessively thinking about them. In this episode we explore the psychology behind why that is, but also how to get to the next stage of healing where you are free of the past memories, thoughts and your feelings for this person. We discuss:

The psychological need for emotional closure and how to provide YOURSELF closure
The Polyanna principle and positive bias for the past
The chemical reason for obsession and unrequited
Anxious attachment and overthinking
The excuses that keep us invested in the wrong people
How to emotionally detach
The science of no-contact
10 tips for getting over someone you can't stop thinking about

If you are struggling to move on, even though you've tried and are ready, this one is for you as we unpack how to move on from someone you can't stop thinking about.

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The Psychology of your 20s

141. How to get over someone you can't stop thinking about

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Deep dives

Lack of Emotional Closure

Positive Cognitive Bias and Reminiscing

Psychological and Biological Addiction

Detachment and Moving Forward

Understanding the Psychological Need for Closure in Getting Over Someone

The Trick to Getting Over Someone You Can't Stop Thinking About

Understanding the Difficulty of Letting Go

Emotionally Detaching and Investing in Yourself

Remember Everything You Learn from Podcasts