Michael Bungay Stanier, author of best-sellers like The Coaching Habit and The Advice Trap, shares his insights on effective leadership. He argues that advice is often overrated and encourages a shift towards curiosity and humility. The discussion highlights common pitfalls in advice-giving, such as solving the wrong challenges. Michael introduces the TERA principles to keep conversations engaging and emphasizes the importance of 'fierce love' in coaching. He also sheds light on the neuroscience behind engaging leadership conversations.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Resist the Urge to Advise
When asked for advice, resist the urge to immediately offer solutions.
Instead, stay curious and ask clarifying questions to understand the real challenge.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Ask for Their Ideas First
Before offering advice, ask the other person for their ideas first.
This helps them take ownership and may reveal they already have good solutions.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Alan Mulally's Leadership
Alan Mulally, CEO of Ford, exemplified non-directive leadership.
He prioritized empowering his team to find their own solutions over always providing answers.
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Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever
Michael Bungay Stanier
In 'The Coaching Habit,' Michael Bungay Stanier provides a straightforward and effective approach to coaching. Drawing on his extensive experience training managers worldwide, he introduces seven essential coaching questions designed to help managers unlock their team's potential. These questions include the Kickstart Question, the AWE Question, the Lazy Question, the Strategic Question, the Focus Question, the Foundation Question, and the Learning Question. The book emphasizes the importance of saying less and asking more, fostering a collaborative and empowering work environment. It combines practical advice with research in neuroscience and behavioral economics, making coaching a daily, informal part of managerial work rather than a formal event.
The Advice Trap
Michael Bungay Stanier
In 'The Advice Trap', Michael Bungay Stanier builds on the principles of his previous book, 'The Coaching Habit', to help leaders and consultants avoid the pitfalls of premature and unsolicited advice-giving. The book emphasizes the importance of taming the 'Advice Monster' within, which is driven by the beliefs that one must have the answer, be responsible for everything, and stay in control. By staying curious longer and rushing into advice-giving more slowly, leaders can foster a more engaged team, promote organizational change, and create a curiosity-driven company culture. The book provides practical tools and strategies for effective coaching, including the use of probing questions, mindfulness, and humility[2][4][5].
Michael Bungay Stanier: The Advice Trap
Michael Bungay Stanier is at the forefront of shaping how organizations around the world make being coach-like an essential leadership competency. His book The Coaching Habit* is the best-selling coaching book of this century, with over 700,000 copies sold and 1,000+ five-star reviews on Amazon.
He’s the author of the new book The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious, and Change the Way You Lead Forever*.
In this conversation, Michael and I discuss why advice is overrated and often displays poor leadership. Michael shows us how to avoid coaching ghosts and dealing with people who can’t stop talking. Plus, we explore how to keep people engaged in the conversation, become more coach-like, and qualify advice when the time is right to give it.
Key Points
Advice is overrated. Not advice itself. There’s a time and a place for good advice. The problem is the default habit of giving advice. -Michael Bungay Stanier
The Advice Trap: The more I give them advice, the more they want my advice.
Three reasons your advice doesn’t get results:
You’re solving the wrong challenge.
You’re proposing a mediocre solution.
You’re displaying poor leadership.
Avoid coaching the ghost (the person note present) and yarning (excessive conversation that isn’t leading anywhere productive).
To keep people engaged in the conversation, use the TERA principles:
Tribe: Be on their side.
Expectation: Show them the future.
Rank: Raise them up.
Autonomy: Give them the choice.
When you do give advice, consider diminishing it with:
“Here’s my best guess…”
“I may be wrong…”
“This is just one idea/option/thought…”
Resources Mentioned
The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious, and Change the Way You Lead Forever* by Michael Bungay Stanier
The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever* by Michael Bungay Stanier
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Book Notes
Download my highlights from The Advice Trap in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
The Way to Stop Rescuing People From Their Problems, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 284)
How to Stop Having the Same Problems, with Corrinne Armour (episode 387)
Leadership in the Midst of Chaos, with Jim Mattis (episode 440)
How to Ask Better Questions, with David Marquet (episode 454)
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