Non-Negotiables in the New Year | From Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris
Jan 3, 2024
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Dan Harris, skeptical journalist and host of the Ten Percent Happier podcast, discusses topics such as non-negotiable practices for maintaining life balance, showing up fully present in various contexts, the impact of social connections on happiness and longevity, the consequences of diminishing anxiety, and the effects of digital technology on our lives.
Prioritizing the quality of relationships is the most effective lever to optimize one's life, as strong relationships reduce stress.
Being accountable and generous in relationships is crucial for building deeper connections and finding happiness and fulfillment.
Deep dives
The Importance of Relationships in Optimizing Life
Many people prioritize resolutions related to diet, exercise, and productivity, but the most effective lever to optimize one's life is the quality of relationships. Research shows that the number one variable for a long and happy life is the quality of one's relationships, as strong relationships reduce stress. Building and maintaining connections with others is crucial for happiness, health, and success.
The Value of Accountability and Generosity in Relationships
Being present and showing up fully in relationships are non-negotiables for maintaining connections. Accountability and generosity play important roles in fostering meaningful relationships. Being accountable means being there for others and fulfilling expectations, while generosity involves reaching out, thinking about others, and extending care beyond one's immediate family. These practices contribute to deeper connections and make a person happier and more fulfilled.
The Impact of Conflict on Relationships
Conflict is intrinsic to relationships and can either be productive or destructive. Healthy conflict is necessary for growth and change, allowing issues to be addressed and resolved. However, when conflict becomes destructive, it involves attacking the person, belittling their concerns, or engaging in harmful communication patterns such as blame and defensiveness. Understanding the underlying motivations of conflict, whether it's about power and control, care and closeness, or respect and recognition, is crucial for conflict resolution and preserving connections.
Developing Resilience to Discomfort and Anxiety
In today's society, the prevalence of comfort-driven technologies has diminished our ability to tolerate discomfort and uncertainty. Learning to embrace and experience discomfort is essential for fortifying oneself against anxiety and navigating the challenges of life. To cultivate resilience, it is important to engage in social interactions, seek support, practice empathy, and engage in activities that involve both physical and mental engagement, such as cooking or taking walks with others.
Our friend Dan Harris hosts the Ten Percent Happier podcast. A skeptical journalist, Dan had a panic attack on live TV that sent him on a journey that led him to try something he otherwise wouldn't have considered: meditation. He went on to write the best-selling book, 10% Happier. The show features interviews with top scientists, celebrities and experts in the field of mindfulness. And Dan's approach is seemingly modest, but secretly radical: happiness is a skill you can train, just like working your bicep in the gym.