Kwame Christian, best-selling author and CEO of the American Negotiation Institute, shares his insights on using questions as powerful tools for influence. He emphasizes three key types of questions: rapport, information, and persuasion, highlighting the need for trust in conversations. The discussion delves into the importance of open-ended questions to uncover deeper issues and facilitate collaborative dialogue. Kwame also touches on the creation of Negotiable, an online community aimed at enhancing negotiation skills, emphasizing personal growth and effective communication.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Building Rapport through Observation
Start conversations with genuine curiosity, even about simple observations.
This builds rapport and can lead to unexpected connections, like discovering shared interests.
question_answer ANECDOTE
The Gaming Chair
Kwame Christian discovered a shared interest in video games with an interviewee by asking about his gaming chair.
This unexpected connection built rapport and led to a more engaging conversation.
insights INSIGHT
Finding the Lovable
Find something to admire or appreciate in everyone, even difficult people.
Focusing on positive qualities builds rapport and makes you stand out.
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Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever
Michael Bungay Stanier
In 'The Coaching Habit,' Michael Bungay Stanier provides a straightforward and effective approach to coaching. Drawing on his extensive experience training managers worldwide, he introduces seven essential coaching questions designed to help managers unlock their team's potential. These questions include the Kickstart Question, the AWE Question, the Lazy Question, the Strategic Question, the Focus Question, the Foundation Question, and the Learning Question. The book emphasizes the importance of saying less and asking more, fostering a collaborative and empowering work environment. It combines practical advice with research in neuroscience and behavioral economics, making coaching a daily, informal part of managerial work rather than a formal event.
Finding Confidence in Conflict
How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!
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In 'Leadership Is Language,' L. David Marquet provides a radical playbook for empowering teams by focusing on the power of language in leadership. Drawing from his experience as a nuclear submarine captain, Marquet outlines practical strategies and real-life examples to enhance communication skills, foster collaboration, autonomy, and high performance. The book emphasizes the importance of language in shaping organizational culture and employee engagement, introducing concepts such as 'intent-based leadership' and the role of questions in effective communication. Marquet offers six key 'plays' for leaders, including controlling the clock, collaborating rather than coercing, committing rather than complying, and connecting rather than conforming, to create a more empowering and collaborative work environment.
How to Have Difficult Conversations about Race
Kwame Christian
Kwame Christian: American Negotiation Institute
Kwame Christian is a best-selling author, business lawyer, and CEO of the American Negotiation Institute. Following the viral success of his TED talk, Kwame released his best-seller Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life back in 2018. He’s also a regular Contributor for Forbes and the host of the number one negotiation podcast in the world, Negotiate Anything, which currently has over 5 million downloads worldwide.
Under his leadership, the American Negotiation Institute has coached and trained several Fortune 500 companies on applying the fundamentals of negotiation to corporate success. He's also the author of the book How to Have Difficult Conversations About Race and the creator of Negotiable, an Online Community to Learn to Negotiate Anything.
We often think about questions as a way to discover more — but have you also considered how your questions might influence? Kwame Christian and I discuss three key steps in order to persuade better through your intentional questions.
Key Points
Rapport questions help you make a connection with the other party and establish a baseline for how they communicate.
A helpful place to begin on rapport is noticing something that you genuinely admire or are curious about in the other party.
When gaining information, start broadly and then pull the thread when the other party leads you down a path. Beware that your role/position can cause people to say more than they otherwise might.
“What would it take?” is often a helpful way to illuminate a path forward.
Even if you ultimately are more directive, laying the foundation through questions allows the other party to be heard and understood.
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
These Coaching Questions Get Results, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 237)
How to Ask Better Questions, with David Marquet (episode 454)
The Way Out of Major Conflict, with Amanda Ripley (episode 529)
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