Stress Relief vs. Stress Release: What We All Need In Anxious Times

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Oct 7, 2025

Join Dr. William R. Stixrud, a clinical neuropsychologist and co-author on stress regulation, as he unpacks the vital difference between stress relief and stress release. He shares insights on how many coping strategies are merely avoidance tactics, especially in children. Learn the importance of exercise, creativity, and community in effectively releasing stress. Discover how parental calm can influence children’s emotional health and explore the contagious power of laughter and social connections in building resilience.

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INSIGHT

Relief vs. Release Matter

Stress relief (avoidance) stops waves temporarily while stress release balances inflows and outflows for lasting equilibrium.
Relying only on distractions prevents handling feelings and leads to accumulating stress over time.

ANECDOTE

Student Mirrors Parental Avoidance

A student said binge-watching shows is her go-to stress relief, mirroring common avoidance strategies.
Ned compared that to adults using substances, noting these habits model avoidance for kids.

ADVICE

Model Healthy Regulation

Do develop and model healthy stress-release practices like exercise, nature time, and baking to regulate mood and show kids alternatives.
Do prioritize your own regulation because parental calm helps children return to baseline faster.

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Hey folks, Ned here. If you’ve ever felt like life’s got you underwater—like you’re just barely catching your breath before the next wave crashes in—this one’s for you. In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend, partner, and co-author Dr. William Stixrud to talk about something that’s more relevant now than ever: how we actually relieve stress—not just dodge it.

We unpack the critical difference between stress relief (those momentary escapes) and stress release (the tools that really let the pressure out), and why both are necessary. We also dive into practices that help us become non-anxious presences for our kids, and how that calm can be just as contagious as stress. Whether it’s exercise, meditation, social connection, or just laughing with friends, we explore the science-backed ways to bring your nervous system back online and show up for your family with clarity and calm.

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] - Introduction and announcement of the new workbook, The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child

[1:39] - That overwhelmed feeling—why so many of us are barely staying afloat

[3:12] - Stress relief vs. stress release: what’s the difference and why it matters

[5:39] - Coping methods kids use—and why many of them are just avoidance strategies

[7:32] - The trouble with short-term fixes like weed and excessive screen time

[8:31] - Real stress release through exercise, baking, and yes—carrot cake

[10:15] - How parents’ stress regulation directly impacts their children

[11:38] - Two paths to calm: cognitive reframing and physiological practices

[14:42] - Radical acceptance—how shifting our mindset reduces suffering

[16:31] - The vital role of calm people and community in weathering storms

[20:08] - Emergency stress relief: laughter, singing, deep breathing, and movement

[22:50] - The power of consistent practices like meditation and gratitude

[25:57] - Final thoughts: combining cognitive, physiological, and social strategies for real resilience

If this episode has helped you, remember to rate, follow, and share the Self-Driven Child Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people and create more content that makes a difference.

If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com