My First Million 5 Lessons in Negotiation from an FBI Hostage Negotiator
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Sep 17, 2025 
Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator and author of 'Never Split the Difference,' shares powerful negotiation tactics. He emphasizes the importance of empathy, especially in high-stress situations, and discusses how to turn imperfect information into leverage. Voss reveals five critical rules for effective negotiation: labeling emotions, not fearing rejection, and being unpredictable. He highlights Oprah Winfrey's negotiation finesse and provides insights on how preparation and authentic communication can foster trust, ultimately leading to better outcomes.
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Listen Through The Hijack Moment
- Let the other side speak fully and resist the urge to interrupt during the hijack moment.
- Listening without rebutting draws out hidden information and builds trust quickly.
Feelings Outlast Facts
- People rarely remember facts but deeply remember how you made them feel.
- Making someone feel understood creates bonding even if they forget the words you said.
Bank Robbery Hand Off That Worked
- In a bank robbery case Voss replaced the on-phone negotiator and used disruption to change dynamics.
- He then switched to calming tactics and asked “Do you want to come out?” which led to surrender.
