My grandfather the Aikido master, by Kino MacGregor
Dec 3, 2024
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Kino MacGregor, an Ashtanga yoga teacher and author, shares her unique upbringing as a half-Japanese child in South Florida. She reflects on joyful memories with her Aikido master grandfather, exploring how generational trauma shaped her identity. Through her journey, Kino highlights the healing power of Ashtanga yoga in processing grief and navigating cultural heritage. She reveals the deep emotional connection to her family's past, emphasizing mindfulness, self-exploration, and the importance of finding peace within.
Kino's relationship with her grandfather provided emotional comfort and helped her navigate feelings of identity and belonging through shared experiences with food.
Her journey through yoga became essential for healing, allowing her to reclaim her body and confront inherited trauma following her grandfather's passing.
Deep dives
The Healing Power of Food and Connection
Food can serve as a bridge to comfort and connection, especially in the context of family. Kino recalls how her grandfather, a skilled chef, transformed the experience of eating into a joyful adventure through creative dishes like strawberries dipped in powdered sugar and teriyaki-glazed sweet potatoes. These moments taught her that food could be more than just a necessity; it could be nourishing both physically and spiritually. This relationship with food helped Kino find awareness of her own body and its enjoyment, shifting her perspective from viewing it as a chore to embracing its pleasures.
Struggles with Identity and Belonging
Kino grappled with her mixed heritage, feeling out of place with her Japanese and Scottish roots growing up in South Florida. Interactions with peers often left her feeling disconnected from her identity, particularly when faced with insensitive comments questioning her appearance. In these formative years, her grandfather's unwavering presence offered a sense of belonging and comfort, grounding her amidst the turmoil of self-doubt. By embracing parts of her identity, such as wearing a kimono for a school presentation, she slowly began to navigate her feelings of pride and acceptance within her cultural narrative.
The Journey of Healing Through Yoga
Kino's discovery of yoga became a pivotal aspect of her healing journey, providing her with tools to reconnect with her body and mind. Initially struggling with depression after her grandfather's death, yoga offered a sanctuary where she could feel grounded and empowered through movement and breath. The practice not only restored her sense of agency over her body but also facilitated a deeper understanding of the inherited trauma that impacted her mental health. This ongoing journey of self-exploration enabled her to realize that the comfort and wholeness she sought could ultimately be found within herself, paving the way for resilience and hope.
Growing up half-Japanese in South Florida, Kino MacGregor spends a lot of time feeling uncomfortable in her own body. But her Japanese grandfather is always there for her, and they spend joyful hours together every day, playing hide-and-seek, cooking and eating, practicing aikido. Behind his joy, she learns only later, hides a profound grief — one that carries down the generations. In Kino’s Ashtanga yoga practice, she finds the tools to process this grief and sadness she’s unknowingly carried.
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