#703: Sheila Heen — How to Master the Difficult Art of Receiving (and Giving) Feedback

1032 snips

Nov 9, 2023

Sheila Heen, founder of Triad Consulting Group and Harvard Law School professor, shares her expertise on navigating difficult conversations and the art of feedback. She outlines strategies for giving and receiving feedback effectively, emphasizing empathy and emotional awareness. With insights drawn from her work with top organizations like Pixar and the Obama White House, Sheila discusses the complexities of communication and how personal experiences shape our responses. A deep dive into the mutual responsibilities in feedback dynamics makes this conversation both enlightening and practical.

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ADVICE

Clarifying Feedback

Ask clarifying questions about feedback's meaning and intended outcome.
Explore the "why" behind feedback and its practical implications.

INSIGHT

Handling Harsh Feedback

Name your emotional state when receiving harsh feedback to regain composure.
Asking "What do you feel like I don't get?" can quickly identify core issues.

ANECDOTE

Sexual Harassment Story

Sheila Heen shares a personal story of sexual harassment during a work trip.
She changed her behavior, addressed the harasser directly, and regained control.

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Difficult Conversations

How to Discuss What Matters Most

Roger Drummer Fisher

Douglas Stone

Bruce Patton

Sheila Heen

This book provides a step-by-step approach to having tough conversations with less stress and more success. It covers how to decipher the underlying structure of difficult conversations, raise tough issues without triggering defensiveness, manage strong emotions, and keep balance regardless of the other person's response. The book is filled with examples from everyday life and addresses issues such as race, culture, gender, power, and communication via technology. It is designed to help readers improve oral communication in personal, professional, and public life.

Getting the Love You Want

A Guide for Couples

Harville Hendrix

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This book, written by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, explains how unconscious childhood experiences influence adult relationships. It suggests that people often choose partners who resemble their caregivers, hoping to resolve unfinished childhood issues. The authors provide a structured approach, including the 'Imago Dialogue,' to help couples communicate effectively, resolve power struggles, and heal early childhood wounds. The book combines behavioral science, depth psychology, social learning theory, Gestalt therapy, and interpersonal neuroscience to enhance closeness and fulfill relationships[2][3][5].

Thanks for the Feedback

The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well

Douglas Stone

Sheila Heen

The War of Art

Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles

Steven Pressfield

In 'The War of Art', Steven Pressfield identifies the internal force of 'Resistance' that hinders creative endeavors. The book is divided into three sections: 'Resistance: Defining the Enemy', 'Combating Resistance: Turning Pro', and a final section that discusses the role of the muses and the battle between the Self and the Ego. Pressfield provides practical advice on recognizing and overcoming resistance, emphasizing the importance of professionalism, discipline, and continuous work in achieving creative success.