Your Personal Guide to Self Discovery w/ Nicole LePera EP 1358
Dec 5, 2022
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Nicole LePera, a clinical psychologist and founder of the #SelfHealers movement, discusses the journey of self-discovery and healing. She shares insights on why we often self-sabotage and the importance of understanding our emotional needs. The conversation highlights how trauma impacts authenticity and the necessity of setting personal boundaries. LePera emphasizes the role of discomfort in personal growth and introduces tools from her workbook that guide listeners in their healing journey. Celebrate authenticity and the power of community with her empowering approach.
Developing emotional maturity involves acknowledging and regulating emotions, understanding their underlying messages, and practicing new coping strategies.
Healing the nervous system is crucial in breaking patterns of self-sabotage and establishing healthy boundaries and relationships.
To cultivate self-love, one must heal childhood wounds, set healthy boundaries, prioritize self-care, and meet their own needs.
Deep dives
Awareness and Regulation of Emotions
Emotions contain valuable information and should not be suppressed. Instead, one should develop emotional maturity by becoming aware of and regulating their emotions. This involves acknowledging and observing one's emotional reactions, understanding the core emotions and their underlying messages, and practicing new ways of coping with and expressing emotions.
The Impact of Trauma on Nervous System
Traumatic experiences, even those from childhood, can lead to nervous system dysregulation. This dysregulation can manifest in patterns of self-sabotage, self-betrayal, and self-harm. Trauma affects how we care for ourselves and our ability to establish healthy boundaries and relationships. Healing the nervous system is crucial in breaking these patterns and creating a safe and compassionate space for oneself.
The Importance of Self-Love and Boundaries
Many people struggle with self-love and believing they are lovable. This often stems from childhood experiences where caregivers were unable to consistently meet their needs, leading to feelings of unworthiness. To develop self-love, one must acknowledge and heal these deep wounds and learn to set healthy boundaries. By prioritizing self-care and meeting one's own needs, they can create healthier and more fulfilling relationships with others.
Continued Growth and Inner Child Healing
Healing the inner child and addressing past traumas is a vital part of personal growth. Acknowledging and reconnecting with the wounded child within us allows for healing and nurturing of those past wounds. This process requires conscious awareness, compassion, and the courage to redefine and empower ourselves. Inner child work helps in creating new patterns, establishing healthier relationships, and finding peace and abundance in life.
Building a Foundation for a Thriving Relationship
In order to set up a strong foundation for a fulfilling intimate relationship, both individuals need to be committed to a healing journey and have a growth mindset. This involves diving into the healing journey individually and together, rather than having one partner solely committed to growth and healing. It is important for both partners to have alignment on values, vision, and lifestyle. This includes ensuring that values, vision, and lifestyle preferences are in sync, with minimal disagreements. A crucial aspect is accepting and learning about each other in a conscious way through spiritual connection, rather than solely relying on sexual chemistry. This helps to establish a solid foundation before delving into physical intimacy. Lastly, having alignment on love languages is crucial to ensure that both partners can naturally and organically express and receive love.
The Significance of Self-Awareness and Effective Communication
One of the key elements emphasized in the podcast is the importance of self-awareness. It is crucial to focus on getting to know oneself and understanding one's wants, needs, and values before seeking a relationship with someone else. This prevents relying on someone else for validation. Additionally, effective communication plays a vital role in building a healthy relationship. Direct conversations about values, vision, lifestyle preferences, and other important decisions are necessary to ensure harmony and understanding. Open and honest communication helps in navigating difficult moments and resolving conflicts. It is essential to take responsibility for one's reactions, communicate openly about emotions triggered by past experiences, and work towards repair and reconnection when conflicts arise.
As a clinical psychologist in private practice, Dr. Nicole LePera often found herself frustrated by the limitations of traditional psychotherapy. Wanting more for her patients— and for self— she began a journey to develop a united philosophy of mental, physical, and spiritual health that equips people with the tools necessary to heal themselves.
She is the creator of the #SelfHealers movement where people from around the world are joining together in a community to take healing into their own hands. Her first book, How to Do the Work, has resonated within the community and has released her new How to Meet Your Self: The Workbook for Self-Discovery.
In this episode you will learn,
Why we are prone to self-sabotage.
How healing mental wounds affects the nervous system.
Why so many of us believe we aren’t lovable.
What happens when we abandon ourselves and our boundaries.
