The Tim Ferriss Show

#747: Seth Godin and Dr. Sue Johnson

Jun 19, 2024

This discussion features Seth Godin, an entrepreneur and bestselling author, alongside Dr. Sue Johnson, a pioneer in couples therapy and creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). They explore navigating life’s transitions and the importance of setting creative boundaries. Godin shares insights on discerning good ideas, while Dr. Johnson delves into the dynamics of emotional connections and effective communication in relationships. Both guests emphasize the transformative power of vulnerability and authenticity in both business and personal realms.

02:40:24

Episode guests

Sue Johnson

Seth Godin

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Highlights

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Episode notes

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Hold Me Tight Conversations foster emotional connection by addressing negative relationship patterns and building trust.

Recognizing past trauma fears is crucial in initiating vulnerability and trust in relationships.

Openly sharing emotional struggles and insecurities nurtures genuine emotional bonding and connection in relationships.

Expressing vulnerabilities and fears allows partners to deepen empathy and create a safe space for emotional intimacy.

Secure attachments and emotional vulnerability are key in cultivating healthy relationships and lasting bonds.

Deep dives

The Essence of 'Hold Me Tight Conversations'

Hold Me Tight Conversations are a transformative way for couples to connect on a deep emotional level, counteracting isolation. These conversations involve vulnerability and expressing needs, fostering safety and trust. Couples address negative relationship patterns and understand the dance of love, shifting blame to patterns rather than each other. Tackling traumatic pasts involves acknowledging fears of opening up, allowing participants to build trust and express vulnerability.

Teaching Kids to Lead and Solve Problems

01:29

Differentiate Freelancers from Entrepreneurs

01:59

Embracing Uncertainty in Transition

01:15

Resilience Finds Connection

01:20

Intro

4min

Celebrating Milestones: A Super Combo of Transformative Voices

5min

Navigating Creative Boundaries

22min

Values Over Wealth: A Career Reflection

8min

The Power of Presence

6min

Harnessing Emotional Bonds in Therapy

12min

Embracing Vulnerability for Stronger Relationships

48min

Navigating Emotional Disconnection in Relationships

5min

Connections Through Dance and Relationship Dynamics

43min

10.

Farewells and Dating Insights

8min

This episode is a two-for-one, and that’s because the podcast recently hit its 10-year anniversary and passed one billion downloads. To celebrate, I’ve curated some of the best of the best—some of my favorites—from more than 700 episodes over the last decade. I could not be more excited. The episode features segments from episode #138 "How Seth Godin Manages His Life — Rules, Principles, and Obsessions" and episode #529 "Iconic Therapist Dr. Sue Johnson — How to Improve Sex and Crack the Code of Love."

Please enjoy!

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Timestamps:

[00:00] Start

[07:36] Notes about this supercombo format.

[08:39] Enter Seth Godin.

[09:05] Seth's rules for speaking engagements and why he developed them.

[13:53] Navigating life's big transitions.

[15:54] Why Seth publishes a daily blog.

[16:54] Writing process and overcoming blocks.

[21:01] Top businesss decisions.

[22:45] Discerning between good and bad ideas.

[24:27] Are you cut out to be an entrepreneur or a freelancer?

[30:10] Opportunies Seth is glad he declined.

[31:56] Money is a story. How does Seth tell it?

[34:56] Seth on education.

[38:11] Suggested practices for overwhelmed parents.

[41:03] Enter Dr. Sue Johnson.

[41:39] Peer-reviewed clinical research supporting Sue's work.

[44:47] EFT's success rate and clinical definition of success in studies with distressed couples.

[48:47] Scales used to assess marital satisfaction and bond in research.

[54:55] Definition of a hold me tight conversation.

[56:15] Examples of hold me tight conversations.

[1:05:52] How a hold me tight conversation might work for someone who tends to isolate or feels isolated.

[1:14:35] Prevalence of isolation and the stigma around "dependency."

[1:18:27] Attachment parenting vs. sleep training.

[1:28:09] Micro-interventions from Rogerian models of therapy (evocative questions).

[1:36:38] Sue's response to clients who struggle to identify their feelings in their body.

[1:43:32] Upping the ante in a hold me tight conversation and its unintended effects.

[1:45:26] Sue's approach to helping someone work through anger.

[1:48:53] Sue's fascination with Winston Churchill and recommended reading.

[1:54:24] Common arguments between tango couples.

[2:07:35] Advice for couples who are in love but lack sexual spark.

[2:17:02] Advice for couples where the woman has a higher sex drive than the man.

[2:22:35] Development and content of Sue's Hold Me Tight Online program.

[2:27:08] Parting thoughts.

For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.

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Past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Margaret Atwood, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, Dr. Gabor Maté, Anne Lamott, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many more.

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The Tim Ferriss Show

#747: Seth Godin and Dr. Sue Johnson

Episode guests

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Deep dives

The Essence of 'Hold Me Tight Conversations'

Navigating Negative Relationship Patterns

Overcoming Traumatic Emotional Barriers

Building Trust through Emotional Authenticity

Creating Emotional Connection through Vulnerability

Attachment Science as a Blueprint for Relationships

Tango as a Mirror of Emotional Synchrony

Importance of Emotional Connection in Relationships

Navigating Sexual Desire in Long-Term Relationships

Teaching Kids to Lead and Solve Problems

Differentiate Freelancers from Entrepreneurs

Embracing Uncertainty in Transition

Resilience Finds Connection

Remember Everything You Learn from Podcasts