Emily Nagoski, a renowned sex educator and author of "Come as You Are," delves into the complexities of sexual desire and intimacy. She addresses how medications can affect libido, emphasizing the importance of emotional communication in relationships. Nagoski encourages scheduling intimate time, advocating for 'sex dates' to enhance connection. She dispels common myths about sex, offering actionable advice for individuals regardless of age or relationship status. Ultimately, she reframes societal views on desire, promoting a healthier understanding of intimacy.
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insights INSIGHT
Quality Over Quantity
Neither orgasm speed nor spontaneous desire frequency predict a great sex life.
Focus on the overall quality of intimacy and connection.
insights INSIGHT
Two Types of Desire
Spontaneous desire (sudden urge) is one way to experience desire.
Responsive desire (desire emerging through intimacy) is another normal and healthy way.
question_answer ANECDOTE
The Party Analogy
Imagine being invited to a party but feeling hesitant as it approaches.
You go anyway and end up having fun, illustrating how responsive desire works.
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the surprising new science that will transform your sex life
Emily Nagoski
Blanca González Villegas
In 'Come as You Are', Emily Nagoski and Blanca González Villegas delve into the latest scientific research on human sexuality, offering insights and practical advice to improve sexual well-being. The book addresses various aspects of sex, including desire, arousal, and the complexities of sexual response, aiming to help readers understand and enhance their sexual experiences.
Burnout
The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
Emily Nagoski
Amelia Nagoski
This book, written by sisters Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, delves into the specific challenges women encounter with burnout. It provides a comprehensive, science-based approach to reducing stress and enhancing well-being. The authors define burnout as a combination of emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and a decreased sense of accomplishment, and they offer practical solutions such as completing the biological stress cycle, managing emotional triggers, and overcoming societal pressures. The book is divided into sections that explain the stress cycle, the impact of cultural norms on women's stress levels, and strategies for rest, human connection, and self-compassion. It includes helpful worksheets and exercises to empower women to combat burnout and achieve genuine wellness[1][3][5].
Ever since she started taking a new medication a few years ago, Meme is worried that she’s lost her sex drive. She still has a great relationship with her husband, but she isn’t interested in sex the way that she used to be, and she’s worried it’s hurting her marriage. On this episode of How To!, we bring on sex educator Emily Nagoski, author of Come as You Are, to coach Meme through how to revamp her sex life. For busy couples, you should actually schedule a time on your calendar to be intimate. “Think of like when you were dating…that was date sex,” Emily reminds us. She then breaks down the myths that so many of us have internalized about sex, and shares surprising tips to help anyone—no matter their age or relationship status—have better sex.
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Podcast production by Derek John, Rachael Allen, and Rosemary Belson.
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