64: Codependency & Relationship Attachment Styles - with Sharon Peykar, Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Feb 13, 2020
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Sharon Peykar, a Los Angeles-based psychotherapist and life coach, dives into the intricacies of relationships and attachment styles. She discusses the depths of codependency and its roots in childhood experiences, highlighting the importance of self-awareness and personal growth. The conversation touches on the four C's of secure attachment: curiosity, clarity, safety, and collaboration. Sharon also emphasizes the need for boundaries and the influence of societal expectations on intimacy, encouraging self-discovery and reflection as keys to healthy relationships.
Practicing self-love is essential for developing healthy relationships, as it sets the foundation for understanding one's needs and emotional well-being.
Understanding attachment styles, particularly the differences between secure and insecure types, is crucial for recognizing and addressing unhealthy relational patterns.
Deep dives
The Importance of Self-Love
Practicing self-love is emphasized as crucial, especially during relationship-focused occasions like Valentine's Day. The relationship one has with themselves is deemed the most significant, setting the foundation for all other relationships. Prioritizing self-acceptance and reflection enables individuals to better understand their needs and desires, which ultimately enhances their emotional well-being. Cultivating this relationship with self allows for healthier connections with others, reinforcing that self-love is not just a concept but an essential practice.
Exploring Attachment Styles
Different attachment styles play a central role in how individuals navigate relationships, influencing their interactions and emotional responses. Secure attachment fosters healthier dynamics, while insecure attachment styles, such as codependency, can lead to unhealthy relational patterns. Understanding these styles aids individuals in recognizing their tendencies and addressing unresolved issues from childhood that may affect their current relationships. By differentiating between attachment behaviors and codependent actions, individuals can take steps toward healthier relationship patterns.
The Role of Communication in Healthy Relationships
Effective communication is highlighted as a cornerstone of successful relationships. Healthy relationships do not lack conflict but rather involve partners who can collaborate to resolve issues openly and with empathy. It’s essential for individuals to engage in check-ins with their partners, discussing what is working well, areas of challenge, and how they can support each other. This ongoing dialogue fosters a collaborative environment, allowing both individuals to grow within the relationship and deepen their emotional bond.
Recognizing and Avoiding Unrealistic Expectations
Unrealistic expectations often stem from societal norms, media portrayals, and personal experiences, creating challenges in relationships. Individuals must reflect on their internal experiences and feelings in their relationships to identify whether expectations are valid or self-sabotaging. Being mindful of how social media influences perceptions of love and partnership is essential for cultivating healthy relationship dynamics. By acknowledging these pressures and focusing on personal values, individuals can better navigate their relational needs and maintain a balanced perspective.
Sharon Peykar is a psychotherapist and Life Coach based in Los Angeles, CA.
She works with individuals experiencing challenges related to breakups, dating, & family relationships.
By creating an empathic space for self-discovery and self-acceptance, Sharon helps individuals develop healthy relationships with themselves and others. She promotes safety, transparency, and tools to empower her clients in all areas of their life.
She is a graduate of UC Santa Barbara and the USC School of Social Work. She currently holds a Master of Social Work (MSW) with a concentration in Mental Health.
As a trauma-informed clinician, Sharon has experience working with individuals experiencing addiction, anxiety, and depression related to relationship stressors, codependency, grief/loss, breakups and divorce.
In this episode, we touch on codependency, different attachment styles, the 4 C's of secure attachment, self-sabotage in relationships, self-awareness as an essential part of a healthy relationship, unrealistic expectations, dealing with comparison and limiting beliefs, and more.