In this engaging conversation, Edgar Schein, Professor Emeritus at MIT, and Peter Schein, COO of the Organizational Culture and Leadership Institute, delve into the art of building trusting relationships at work. They explore the importance of 'Humble Inquiry' in transitioning from transactional interactions to deeper, trust-based connections. The duo shares insights on navigating honest feedback and enhancing communication, emphasizing the need for openness and curiosity. They advocate for a dynamic, interactive approach to conversations to foster authentic connections in professional settings.
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insights INSIGHT
Feedback and Cultural Norms
People crave honest feedback, even negative feedback, to improve.
However, cultural norms often discourage giving negative feedback, especially unsolicited.
insights INSIGHT
Concealing Reactions
We learn to conceal negative reactions from childhood to avoid hurting others' feelings.
This makes giving feedback awkward, as it goes against ingrained cultural habits.
In 'Turn the Ship Around!', Captain L. David Marquet recounts his experience as the commander of the USS Santa Fe, a nuclear-powered submarine. Initially trained in the traditional 'know all–tell all' leadership model, Marquet faced significant challenges when he took command of the Santa Fe, which was then one of the worst-performing submarines in the fleet. He realized that the traditional leader-follower approach was ineffective and decided to implement a leader-leader model, where every crew member was empowered to take responsibility and make decisions. This approach led to a dramatic improvement in morale, performance, and retention, transforming the Santa Fe into one of the best submarines in the fleet. The book provides practical insights and strategies for implementing this leadership model in various organizational settings.
Humble Inquiry
Edgar Schein
In this book, Edgar H. Schein and Peter Schein define Humble Inquiry as 'the fine art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you do not know the answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.' The authors explore how Humble Inquiry differs from other kinds of inquiry, provide examples of its application in various settings, and discuss how to overcome cultural, organizational, and psychological barriers to its practice. The book emphasizes the need for open and trusting communication in today's complex, interconnected world, and offers practical advice on developing the attitude and skills necessary for Humble Inquiry[1][2][4].
Edgar Schein and Peter Schein: Humble Inquiry
Edgar Schein is Professor Emeritus of MIT's Sloan School of Management. He is the recipient of the Distinguished Scholar Practitioner Award from the Academy of Management, the Lifetime Achievement Award from the International Leadership Association, and the Lifetime Achievement Award in Organization Development from the International OD Network.
Peter Schein is COO of the Organizational Culture and Leadership Institute. He provides counsel to senior management on organizational development challenges facing private and public sector entities worldwide. He is a contributing author to the 5th edition of Organizational Culture and Leadership and co-author of Humble Leadership and The Corporate Culture Survival Guide.
The pair co-founded the Organizational Culture and Leadership Institute and have written several books together, including two in the Humble Leadership series. They’ve recently released the second edition of Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling*.
In this conversation, Edgar, Peter, and I explore the four relationship levels and invite leaders to move professional relationships from level 1 to level 2. A key entry point for this is to artfully reveal some of the things we tend to conceal. We discuss some practical steps to take — and the benefit for leaders and organizations.
Key Points
The four relationship levels:
Level –1: Domination/exploitation
Level 1: Transactional (professional distance)
Level 2: Personal (openness and trust)
Level 3: Intimacy
We all conceal things. A useful way to build a relationship is for people to open up more of their concealed selves.
A relationship is dance — improv if you will. We need to be willing to share the mic with the other party.
Open-ended questions like, “What’s different today?” can help people to show up in the way they want to.
Traditionally, we expected the person with more status to take the first step. That doesn’t necessarily need to be the case.
Notice your own motivations, interventions, and contributions to the relationship.
Resources Mentioned
Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling* by Edgar Schein and Peter Schein
The Organizational Culture and Leadership Institute
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
The Path of Humble Leadership, with Edgar Schein and Peter Schein (episode 363)
How to Ask Better Questions, with David Marquet (episode 454)
Your Leadership Motive, with Patrick Lencioni (episode 505)
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