Decoding the Meaning of 'Doing the Work' - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 475
Nov 28, 2023
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Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder discuss the concept of 'doing the work' in personal development. They explore the importance of intimate partnerships for personal growth, holding more complexity, and the role of relational context. They emphasize that 'doing the work' should have tangible results. Check the show notes for links to their coaching membership and social media profiles.
Developing relationships is a crucial aspect of personal growth, and true progress involves actively working on our relationships and developing the necessary skills to navigate them successfully.
The most significant indicator of personal development is the improvement and resilience of our intimate relationships, as they serve as a mirror for our own growth and require continuous evolution of our relational skills.
Deep dives
The Importance of Developing Relationships
Developing relationships is an essential aspect of personal growth. The podcast emphasizes that true growth involves more than just individual introspection or engaging in spiritual practices. It requires actively working on our relationships and developing the skills necessary to navigate them successfully. The presenters highlight that the most significant indicator of personal development is the improvement and resilience of our intimate relationships. By examining how we treat others and how our relationships feel and operate, we can gauge our progress and determine if we are genuinely doing the work.
The Superficiality of Tools without Development
The podcast warns against falling into the trap of relying solely on personal growth tools without deep developmental work. The presenters provide examples of individuals who use these tools to improve specific areas of their lives, such as business or spirituality, while neglecting their relationship lives. They stress the importance of integrating tools with relational development, highlighting the need for genuine shifts in how we see the world, how we navigate stress, and how we hold multiple perspectives. Merely acquiring knowledge or practicing techniques is insufficient without true growth in our relationships.
Challenges and Nuances of Relational Development
The podcast explores the complexities and challenges of relational development. It acknowledges that our most important relationships, such as partnerships and family, serve as mirrors for our own development. The presenters discuss the need to navigate polarization and develop the capacity to hold opposing views under stress. They emphasize the significance of continuously evolving our relational skills to treat others well and improve the resiliency and substance of our relationships. Additionally, the podcast addresses the importance of surrounding ourselves with people who are also on the path of relational development, as they can support and pull us forward in our progress.
If you’re in the personal development space, chances are you’ve heard the term 'doing the work' thrown around often, but what does it really mean? Is there a right way to do the work? How can you gauge whether your personal development work is really having an impact? Jayson and Ellen share their insights about what it means to 'do the work' and touch on topics from intimate relationships and family to psychedelics and yoga along the way.
Timestamps:
5:14 - What does "doing the work" look like?
8:17 - The litmus test for personal growth
10:15 - Why intimate partnership is so important for personal development