Passion Struck with John R. Miles

Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597

Apr 11, 2025
Dr. Gordon Flett, a distinguished psychologist and author, shares his groundbreaking insights on the psychology of mattering, emphasizing its significance for mental health. He explains how mattering differs from belonging and self-esteem and discusses the dangerous effects of 'anti-mattering,' like burnout and loneliness. Flett reveals that fostering mattering in ourselves and others can combat these issues. The conversation unveils practical strategies for rebuilding a sense of significance after life challenges, reshaping how we connect with ourselves and those around us.
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INSIGHT

Defining Mattering and Anti-Mattering

  • Mattering means feeling important, valued, and cared for, beyond just belonging or self-esteem.
  • Anti-mattering is feeling invisible or insignificant, which can severely affect mental health and hope.
INSIGHT

Mattering vs Belonging and Self-esteem

  • Mattering differs from belonging because it requires feeling valued within a group, not just fitting in.
  • Unlike self-esteem, mattering is uniquely about feeling important and predicts well-being beyond self-esteem.
INSIGHT

Understanding Anti-Mattering and Fear

  • Anti-mattering feels like being invisible, overlooked, or insignificant, and correlates strongly with loneliness.
  • Fear of not mattering drives perfectionism and striving to avoid insignificance.
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