Dr. Mariel Buqué, a psychologist specializing in intergenerational trauma, shares techniques to break free from harmful patterns. She discusses the impact of trauma on biology and psychology, highlighting the role of genes and the nervous system. The podcast also explores the Subaru Share the Love event and the power of open communication in relationships.
Intergenerational trauma can have a lasting impact on our biology and psychology, affecting our mental and physical health.
Being a cycle breaker means consciously deciding to break generational patterns of pain and trauma and create healthier relationships.
The Still technique offers a practical tool for interrupting habitual stress responses and fostering healthier interpersonal dynamics.
Deep dives
Understanding Intergenerational Trauma
Intergenerational trauma refers to trauma that is passed down through generations, both genetically and psychologically. It is a type of trauma that has a lasting impact on our biology and psychology. Chronic stress and trauma experienced by our parents and grandparents can be encoded in our genes, resulting in emotional vulnerabilities and predispositions to stress and trauma. Our upbringing and environment also play a role, as the quality of our emotional foundation, safety, and relationships contribute to our psychological well-being. Intergenerational trauma can lead to trauma responses and symptoms, affecting both our mental and physical health. Recognizing and understanding our own intergenerational trauma can bring compassion and empathy, not only for ourselves but also for others.
Healing Through Cycle Breaking
Being a cycle breaker means consciously deciding to break the patterns of generational pain and trauma. Cycle breakers have the courage to embody a different way of being and parenting, often guided by their intuition and the understanding that things must be different. They strive to create healthier relationships, both for themselves and for future generations. By committing to breaking the cycle, cycle breakers challenge societal norms and strive to create a new legacy. They may not have a roadmap, but their intention to create change is powerful and transformative.
The Still Technique: Cooling the Nervous System
The Still technique is a method aimed at cooling the nervous system and reducing impulsive reactions. It addresses the tendency to go into a threat response, even in situations where there is no real threat. By practicing the Still technique, individuals can gain a few seconds before responding, allowing them to cool down their emotions and avoid impulsive behavior. The technique involves: - Stop: Imagining a stop sign to pause and recognize the trigger. - Temperature: Checking your emotional temperature and assessing your response. - Inhale: Taking deep, calming breaths to activate the body's relaxation response. - Lay: Grounding yourself in the present moment and releasing tension in the body. - Launch: Choosing a thoughtful response rather than an impulsive reaction. The Still technique offers a practical tool for interrupting habitual stress responses and fostering healthier interpersonal dynamics.
Understanding the Power of Generational Healing
Generational healing involves intentional grief and action. It requires grieving the fact that certain aspects of our lives or the circumstances around us may not change in our lifetime. However, while acknowledging this, we can still take small steps to create shifts and make a meaningful difference. By engaging in intentional practices, such as grounding ourselves in the midst of chaos, we can find agency and a sense of control over our emotions and responses. These practices not only allow us to feel better in the moment but also have the potential to alter our physiological and psychological states, potentially impacting future generations.
The Impact of Trauma on Attachment and the Power of Intergenerational Reparenting
Our early experiences with caregivers shape our attachment styles, influencing how we relate to others and ourselves. Traumatized caregivers may struggle to provide consistent care, leading to insecure attachment styles in children. However, through intergenerational reparenting, we can offer ourselves the care and support we may have lacked, fostering healing and healthier attachment styles. By re-parenting ourselves, we can also extend this process to others, such as our parents or loved ones, creating a multi-generational healing journey. Taking intentional actions and using techniques like the "still" method (Stop, Temperature, Eyes for inhale, Lay or sit, Launch) can help regulate our emotions and guide us in responding from a place of reflection and alignment with our values.
Have you noticed patterns in your life traced back generations? My guest Dr. Mariel Buqué shares how trauma gets embedded in our biology and psychology, passed down through families.
In her new book Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma, this psychologist provides clinically proven techniques to regulate our nervous systems, restore secure attachment, process grief, and break free from harmful intergenerational patterns. Her message transcends genetics - it’s a call to become cycle breakers who chart a new course for our families. I even had my own cycle-breaking revelation during our poignant conversation.
