We Can Do Hard Things Save Your Life By Letting Go (of Codependency) with Terri Cole
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Apr 17, 2025 
Terri Cole, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert, shares her insights on high-functioning codependency. She reveals how individuals can seem highly capable yet feel drained in their relationships. Terri discusses actionable steps for recovery, emphasizing the importance of saying no and setting boundaries. She also delves into the emotional toll of prioritizing others over oneself and offers strategies for managing anxiety and fostering true intimacy. This conversation is a guide to reclaiming personal well-being and nurturing healthier connections.
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Understanding High-Functioning Codependency
- High-functioning codependency (HFC) describes highly capable people who appear independent but are actually over-invested in managing others' outcomes at their own expense.
- HFC is modern codependency that is often unrecognized and causes exhaustion and burnout despite outward success.
Helping a Stranger: HFC Example
- Terri Cole once took a stranger from a train platform to her small apartment because she felt compelled to help, illustrating HFC's over-involvement.
- HFC can manifest as feeling responsible for strangers' well-being, not just close relationships.
Cost of Codependency: Burnout
- Being overly invested in everyone else's problems drains emotional and energetic bandwidth, causing exhaustion and resentment.
- High-functioning codependents often feel burned out and unable to care for themselves while managing everyone else's issues.
