How to Work with Almost Anyone with Michael Bungay Stanier
Nov 16, 2023
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Michael Bungay Stanier, known for distilling complex ideas into accessible knowledge, discusses building effective working relationships, repairing and strengthening bonds, leading with humility, and the importance of conversations and relationships in healthcare.
Having strong working relationships is crucial for happiness and success at work, as they impact our energy, thinking, and performance.
Asking five key questions, such as understanding each other's strengths and past experiences, can significantly contribute to building better working relationships and fostering effective collaborations in various industries, including healthcare.
Deep dives
The Importance of Building Good Working Relationships
In this podcast episode, Michael Bunde-Stainer discusses the significance of having strong working relationships. He emphasizes that the quality of these relationships affects our happiness and success at work. When we have good working relationships, we feel more energized, think better, and perform better. However, difficult working relationships can leave us feeling small, timid, and unsatisfied. Michael stresses the need for conversations about how we work together rather than focusing solely on the tasks at hand. By asking questions such as 'What does it look like when you're at your best?' and 'How do you prefer to work?', we can better understand and collaborate with our colleagues and even patients in the healthcare industry. This proactive approach fosters psychological safety, encourages vulnerability, and enhances the overall working experience.
The Five Questions to Improve Working Relationships
In his book 'How to Work with Almost Anyone', Michael Bunde-Stainer presents five key questions that can significantly contribute to building better working relationships. The first question is the 'amplify question', which asks about someone's best qualities and moments of peak performance. By understanding each other's strengths, individuals can complement and support one another in the workplace. The second question is the 'steady question', which explores preferred working practices and preferences to avoid stepping on each other's toes. The 'good date question' and 'bad date question' are the third and fourth questions, respectively, that delve into past experiences of successful and challenging working relationships. By sharing these stories, individuals gain insight into what works and what doesn't in a partnership. Finally, there is the 'repair question', which acknowledges that relationships go through rough patches and encourages dialogue on how to address and mend them. These five questions provide a framework for nurturing positive and effective working relationships.
Applying the Questions in Healthcare Interactions
The conversation also explores the relevance of these questions in the healthcare industry, particularly in the physician-patient relationship. Michael and the hosts discuss how asking questions like 'What does a good working relationship with a doctor look like to you?' or 'What frustrates you in healthcare interactions?' can provide valuable insights for physicians and improve patient experiences. By understanding each other's preferences and acknowledging past positive and negative experiences, both physicians and patients can work towards more satisfying and effective collaborations. Additionally, the 'repair question' becomes vital in healthcare, as it helps address any ruptures in the provider-patient relationship and focuses on repairing and maintaining an effective partnership.
The Importance of Humility and Curiosity in Working Relationships
The conversation concludes with a discussion on the significance of humility and curiosity in working relationships. Michael explains that being 'coach-like' doesn't necessarily mean taking on the role of a coach, but rather embodying qualities like curiosity and the ability to stay curious longer. By approaching colleagues and patients with an open mind and a genuine desire to understand their perspectives, individuals can build stronger connections and foster better engagement. Humility, combined with a willingness to check in on the health of working relationships and a commitment to repairing any damages, leads to greater rapport, patient satisfaction, and overall success.
Michael Bungay Stanier has a gift for distilling big, complex ideas into practical, accessible knowledge for everyday people that helps them be a force for good.
His books have sold over a million copies, with The Coaching Habit topping the Wall Street Journal bestseller list. MBS has been featured on the blogs and social media platforms of thought leaders including Seth Godin, Tim Ferriss, and Brené Brown, and has appeared on ABC, BBC, CBC, Ted.com, and innumerable podcasts―as well as in notable publications including the Harvard Business Review, Forbes, Inc., and Fast Company.
MBS is the founder of Box of Crayons, a learning and development company, that helps organizations move from advice-driven action to curiosity-led transformation. They have trained more than half a million people for clients including Microsoft, Salesforce, TELUS and Gucci.
Before establishing Box of Crayons, MBS’s accomplishments included publishing an academic article on James Joyce and a Harlequin-esque short story; playing small roles in helping invent Pizza Hut’s Stuffed Crust pizza and creating “one of the worst single-malt whiskies in existence”; and spending 20 minutes writing what has remained GlaxoSmithKline’s global vision for more than 20 years.
A former Rhodes Scholar, MBS is an Australian who now lives in Toronto, Canada.
You can join others committed to being a force for change at MBS.works