Episode 319: Understanding the Achiever and Enneagram 3's with David and Sissy

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Oct 23, 2025

Dive into the fascinating world of Enneagram Threes, the Achievers, who bring energy and leadership to every endeavor. Discover how their impressive productivity can lead to the pressure of equating worth with work. The discussion highlights the challenges of image-conscious parenting in a social media era and the importance of creating space for rest and vulnerability. Learn practical tips for fostering deeper connections with your kids and the vital reminder that love is based on who you are, not what you achieve.

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INSIGHT

Threes Are Natural High-Achievers

Threes are high-achieving, fast-thinking, adaptable leaders who drive teams and projects forward.
Their practical efficiency and communication skills make them natural problem solvers and motivators.

ANECDOTE

Kelly: A Quintessential Three Leader

David describes a high-performing colleague, Kelly, as a three who effortlessly leads and inspires.
He credits her with teaching many social skills like using names and asking questions.

INSIGHT

Work Can Mask Identity For Threes

Threes often confuse self-worth with accomplishments and fear failure intensely.
They tend to set feelings aside, struggle with vulnerability, and may judge themselves harshly.

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In today’s episode, we’re diving into the world of Enneagram Threes—the Achievers. Threes bring incredible energy, focus, and drive into everything they do. They’re natural leaders, quick thinkers, and inspiring motivators who help teams (and families!) move forward. But behind that determination can be a deep pressure to perform and a tendency to confuse “who I am” with “what I do.” We talk about how Threes’ productivity and polish can sometimes overshadow their emotional world, and how kids of Threes may feel like they need to “keep up” or perform, too. Together, we unpack the difference between being loved for who you are versus what you achieve—a truth every Three parent needs to hear.

We also explore what these traits look like in parenting—how Threes create structure and security, but may need intentional space for rest, play, and vulnerability. We share practical ways to slow down, lower the bar, and connect with your kids without an agenda. For moms and dads of Threes, we talk about the impact of image-conscious parenting in a social media age, how to model healthy failure, and how to keep performance from defining family life. Whether you’re a Three yourself or love someone who is, this episode is a reminder that your worth—and your child’s—isn’t earned. You’re loved for who you are, not what you do.

Books mentioned in this episode:

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⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠

⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠

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