Episode 319: Understanding the Achiever and Enneagram 3's with David and Sissy
Raising Boys & Girls
Raising Female Threes: Control and Slowing Down
Sissy describes control tendencies, the 'control monster', and slowing down for girls' emotional development.
In today’s episode, we’re diving into the world of Enneagram Threes—the Achievers. Threes bring incredible energy, focus, and drive into everything they do. They’re natural leaders, quick thinkers, and inspiring motivators who help teams (and families!) move forward. But behind that determination can be a deep pressure to perform and a tendency to confuse “who I am” with “what I do.” We talk about how Threes’ productivity and polish can sometimes overshadow their emotional world, and how kids of Threes may feel like they need to “keep up” or perform, too. Together, we unpack the difference between being loved for who you are versus what you achieve—a truth every Three parent needs to hear.
We also explore what these traits look like in parenting—how Threes create structure and security, but may need intentional space for rest, play, and vulnerability. We share practical ways to slow down, lower the bar, and connect with your kids without an agenda. For moms and dads of Threes, we talk about the impact of image-conscious parenting in a social media age, how to model healthy failure, and how to keep performance from defining family life. Whether you’re a Three yourself or love someone who is, this episode is a reminder that your worth—and your child’s—isn’t earned. You’re loved for who you are, not what you do.
Books mentioned in this episode:
. . . . . .
Sign up to receive the bi-monthly newsletter to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share!
Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at raisingboysandgirls.com
Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience
Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage
. . . . . .
If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our Advertise With Us form.
A special thank you to our sponsors:
QUINCE: Go to Quince.com/rbg for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.
THRIVE MARKET: Head over to ThriveMarket.com/rbg to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.
NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/nivab and using promo code RBG.
BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg. Exclusions apply.
KA’CHAVA: Go to Ka'Chava and use code RBG for 15% off your next order.
DOSE: Save 30% on your first month of subscription by going to dosedaily.co/RBG or entering RBG at checkout.
EVERYDAY DOSE: Get 45% off your first subscription order of 30-servings of Coffee+ or Bold+. You’ll also receive a starter kit with over $100 in free gifts including a rechargeable frother and gunmetal serving spoon by going to everydaydose.com/RGB or entering RGB at checkout. You’ll also get FREE gifts throughout the year!
JOLIE: Jolie will give you your best skin & hair guaranteed. Head to jolieskinco.com/RBG to try it out for yourself with FREE shipping.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The AI-powered Podcast Player
