Raising Boys & Girls

In today’s episode, we’re diving into the world of Enneagram Threes—the Achievers. Threes bring incredible energy, focus, and drive into everything they do. They’re natural leaders, quick thinkers, and inspiring motivators who help teams (and families!) move forward. But behind that determination can be a deep pressure to perform and a tendency to confuse “who I am” with “what I do.” We talk about how Threes’ productivity and polish can sometimes overshadow their emotional world, and how kids of Threes may feel like they need to “keep up” or perform, too. Together, we unpack the difference between being loved for who you are versus what you achieve—a truth every Three parent needs to hear. We also explore what these traits look like in parenting—how Threes create structure and security, but may need intentional space for rest, play, and vulnerability. We share practical ways to slow down, lower the bar, and connect with your kids without an agenda. For moms and dads of Threes, we talk about the impact of image-conscious parenting in a social media age, how to model healthy failure, and how to keep performance from defining family life. Whether you’re a Three yourself or love someone who is, this episode is a reminder that your worth—and your child’s—isn’t earned. You’re loved for who you are, not what you do. Books mentioned in this episode: Freeing Your Child from Anxiety by Tamar Chansky How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ . . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/nivab and using promo code RBG. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. KA’CHAVA: Go to Ka'Chava and use code RBG for 15% off your next order.  DOSE: Save 30% on your first month of subscription by going to ⁠dosedaily.co/RBG ⁠or entering RBG at checkout. EVERYDAY DOSE: Get 45% off your first subscription order of 30-servings of Coffee+ or Bold+. You’ll also receive a starter kit with over $100 in free gifts including a rechargeable frother and gunmetal serving spoon by going to everydaydose.com/RGB or entering RGB at checkout. You’ll also get FREE gifts throughout the year! JOLIE: Jolie will give you your best skin & hair guaranteed. Head to jolieskinco.com/RBG to try it out for yourself with FREE shipping. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week’s episode, we sit down with two of our favorite Twos—Heather Flener and Sherman Bucher—for a conversation full of warmth, laughter, and self-awareness. These two embody the best of what it means to be “The Helper,” and their stories bring the Enneagram Two to life in such relatable ways. Heather and Sherman share how their caring hearts show up in parenting, friendships, and everyday life—and how that same deep empathy can sometimes make it hard to step back and care for themselves. We loved hearing them talk about learning to set boundaries, finding rest, and practicing the kind of self-care that allows them to keep loving well without burning out. From stories about childhood moments of “helping” to reflections on parenting as a Two, this conversation is full of insight and encouragement for anyone who gives a lot to others. And in true Two fashion, they even close things out by describing their ideal meal—small, intimate gatherings where connection is rich and laughter is easy. It’s a tender, joy-filled conversation that will make you want to call the helper in your life and say thank you. Book referenced in the episode: Girls on the Edge and Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax . . . . . .  ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/nivab and using promo code RBG. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. KA’CHAVA: Go to Ka'Chava and use code RBG for 15% off your next order.  OUR PLACE: Stop cooking with toxic cookware, and upgrade to Our Place today. Visit fromourplace.com/RBG and use code RBG for 10% off site wide. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This discussion highlights the warmth and nurturing nature of Enneagram Twos, the Helpers. They possess an instinctive ability to sense others' needs but often neglect their own. The hosts explore the emotional strengths and challenges Twos face, including the danger of resentment and the desire for validation. Practical advice is shared on setting boundaries and fostering independence in children. With humor, they liken Twos to golden retrievers—dedicated and loving—reminding them of their inherent worth beyond their helpfulness.

Oh, friends, what a beautiful conversation about the heart of Type Ones! We love how this episode unpacks the inner world of these incredible, responsible souls who care so deeply about doing things right. Can you hear the tenderness in how these parents, Briana Pitt and John Allen, talk about their journey? There's such grace in their vulnerability - the way they acknowledge both the strengths and the struggles of being a Type One. What strikes us most is how these parents are leaning into self-awareness, understanding that their desire for perfection can sometimes create tension, especially as their children grow. John's brilliant question - "Are you interested in any feedback right now?" - is such a beautiful example of how Type Ones can soften their approach. They're learning to hold their high standards with open hands, recognizing that relationship matters more than perfection. It's a powerful reminder that our personality type isn't something to fix, but a lens through which we can understand ourselves and grow in compassion - both for ourselves and our children. . . . . . .  Connect with David and Sissy at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Connect with us on Instagram! Raising Boys and Girls and Sissy Goff . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: WAYFAIR: Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. KIWICO: Get up to 50% off your first crate at kiwico.com, promo code RBG. HARBOR: Use code RBG or go to Harbor.co/RBG for $50 off and experience the security every parent deserves. QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/nivab and using promo code RBG. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. KA’CHAVA: Go to Ka'Chava and use code RBG for 15% off your next order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As 1’s, we want to do good things in the world, we want to redeem things in the world. We want so much to bring goodness and rightness to the world… Stay with us during this episode, we will give an overview on 1’s, including the positives and negatives and helpful tips on how to see what’s right, before seeing what’s wrong. Things to consider if you’re raising a 1.  Daily prayer recommendation for 1’s: The Serenity Prayer (2 part of prayer): “Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as the pathway to peace. Taking as he did this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting he will make all things right.” Book recommendations mentioned in this episode:  1. The Worry Free Parent by Sissy Goff (Chapter 3) https://www.amazon.com/Worry-Free-Parent-Living-Confidence-Your/dp/0764241028 2. Raising Worry Free Girls by Sissy Goff https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Worry-Free-Girls-Daughter-Stronger/dp/0764233408 . . . . . .  ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ More Links: Sign up to receive the⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/ . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise with us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: JOLIE: Jolie will give you your best skin & hair guaranteed. Head to jolieskinco.com/RBG to try it out for yourself with FREE shipping. EVERYDAY DOSE: Get 45% off your first subscription order of 30-servings of Coffee+ or Bold+. You’ll also receive a starter kit with over $100 in free gifts including a rechargeable frother and gunmetal serving spoon by going to everydaydose.com/RGB or entering RGB at checkout. You’ll also get FREE gifts throughout the year! DOSE: Save 30% on your first month of subscription by going to ⁠dosedaily.co/RBG ⁠or entering RBG at checkout. QUINCE: Give your summer closet an upgrade—with Quince. Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting http://FAITHGATEWAY.COM/NIVAB and using promo code RBG.  BOLL & BRANCH: Feel the difference an extraordinary night’s sleep can make with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. KA’CHAVA: Make your day iconic with Ka’Chava. Go to Ka'Chava and use code RBG for 15% off your next order. That’s Ka'Chava, code RBG for 15% off.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Folks, when we began dreaming about the Parenting Personalities series, we had a lot of fun ideas about what we’d hoped to cover. The central idea for the two of us was that we would use this incredibly valuable tool of the Enneagram that we use in the everyday of our work at Daystar. As a foundational piece of this Parenting Personality series. So we’d been holding on to a little surprise for quite some time. We had the chance to fly to Dallas,TX and interview our favorite Enneagram teachers and spend time in their company learning as we always do, when we’re in their company. Suzanne and Reverend Joseph Stabile, who we love dearly and have learned so much from. And we got a chance to sit down and first hear them talk about how they developed life in the Trinity Ministries and learned the Enneagram. How they found their way to this tool. And then we traveled through every number and talk about the Enneagram and parenting. And it is such a rich, valuable conversation that we’d been so excited to share with you. We’ve been holding on to this for some time. And hang on until the end, because after we travel through the numbers we will spend some time at the end of the conversation talking about spiritual practices and disciplines for the numbers.  You’re going to love this conversation with our delightful and wise friends, Suzanne and Joe Stabile! To learn more about the work they’re doing visit:  Website: https://www.lifeinthetrinityministry.com Podcast: The Enneagram Journey Follow Suzanne Stabile on ⁠Instagram  For Suzanne Stable book resources, visit Website: https://suzannestabile.com/ . . . . . .  ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ More Links: Sign up to receive the⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise with us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. OUR PLACE: Stop cooking with toxic cookware, and upgrade to Our Place today. Visit fromourplace.com/RBG and use code RBG for 10% off sitewide. HIYA HEALTH: Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to hiyahealth.com/RBG.  QUINCE: Give your summer closet an upgrade—with Quince. Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting http://FAITHGATEWAY.COM/NIVAB and using promo code RBG.  BOLL & BRANCH: Feel the difference an extraordinary night’s sleep can make with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. KA’CHAVA: Make your day iconic with Ka’Chava. Go to kachava.com and use code RBG for 15% off your next order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay I’m going to read a quote, “If you’re not paying attention to how you affect other people, you’re missing a big piece of what makes life work. What you don’t know about yourself can hurt you, others, and your relationships.” This wise quote is from Suzanne Stabile, of course. This feels so true and it feels exactly why we’re diving into what we’re diving into over the next several weeks. It honestly feels appropriate that we would kick off this part of the Parenting Personalities series on the Enneagram with a quote from our dear friend, Suzanne Stabile. Because we would both say that she has hands down taught us the most about the Enneagram. She’s our favorite Enneagram teacher, and so we’re going to be quoting her all throughout this time and sharing things we’ve learned through all of her decades of studying this great ancient wisdom tool. We’re excited to bring all that we’ve learned through her and how we see that walked out in parenting. We talked about this recently, but why wouldn’t we want to grow? Those of us who love kids or in relationship to anyone else, in fact we would love for you to share these episodes with your kids' grandparents, with aunts and uncles, with educators. Really anybody in your life, you don’t have to be a parent, to hopefully learn from and glean from the growth and grace that’s going to weave all throughout these conversations.  Book recommendation mentioned in episode: "The Road Back to You" by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile . . . . . .  ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ More Links: Sign up to receive the⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise with us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. QUINCE: Give your summer closet an upgrade—with Quince. Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.  THRIVE MARKET: Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting http://FAITHGATEWAY.COM/NIVAB and using promo code RBG.  BOLL & BRANCH: Feel the difference an extraordinary night’s sleep can make with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Alison Cook, a psychotherapist and best-selling author, dives into the fascinating world of attachment styles. She shares how consistent early attachment nurtures resilience and confidence in children. Alison identifies behavioral patterns in secure, anxious, and avoidant attachments, highlighting the impact of parental styles on relationships. Practical strategies include self-compassion, reparenting, and emotional regulation tips. She emphasizes the possibility of healing from insecure attachments, integrating faith to ease the parental journey.

Dive into the fascinating world of attachment styles and what they mean for your family dynamics. Discover how early attachment shapes later relationships and the four distinct styles that can develop. Learn the balance between fostering security and avoiding the pitfalls of excessive anxiety. Hear relatable examples of parental challenges and get practical tips on nurturing resilience and courage in children. This enlightening conversation reassures parents that growth and connection are achievable through understanding and intentional support.

Okay you guys, Buckle up! We just interviewed Dr. Kevin Leman, whose work on Birth Order, we have talked about, referenced, more times than we could possibly count. We are so excited about having this conversation with him. We knew without a doubt we’d learn a lot. We were not expecting to laugh as much as we did. And we were doubled over in some moments. He is so funny, which will make more sense when he talks about his birth order and how that translates to often be true for that particular birth order.  Now stick around to the end, because he threw out some incredible wisdom of what to say to kids: who want everything to be fair, and how to navigate allowance, expectations and bed time unique to birth order. And stick around because he gave David a really hard time about being a 1st born. He teased him hard and so I never said that I was too, I just laughed along! Ya’ll are going to love this episode! . . . . . .  ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ More Links: Sign up to receive the⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise with us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: OUR PLACE: Stop cooking with toxic cookware, and upgrade to Our Place today. Visit fromourplace.com/RBG and use code RBG for 10% off sitewide.  HARBOR: Restore your peace of mind with Harbor: the only baby monitor designed to never fail you. Plus, Harbor has a special deal for listeners, use code RBG or go to Harborco/RBG  for $50 off and experience the security every parent deserves.  HIYA HEALTH: Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to hiyahealth.com/RBG. QUINCE: Give your summer closet an upgrade—with Quince. Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.  THRIVE MARKET: Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting http://FAITHGATEWAY.COM/NIVAB and using promo code RBG.  BOLL & BRANCH: Feel the difference an extraordinary night’s sleep can make with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices