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The One You Feed

How to Break the People-Pleasing Cycle and Set Healthy Boundaries with Terri Cole

Feb 4, 2025
Terri Cole, a psychotherapist and author of "Too Much," dives into the challenges of breaking the people-pleasing cycle. She discusses the fine line between kindness and codependency, emphasizing the emotional toll of a 'peace at any cost' mentality. Terri offers practical strategies to set healthy boundaries and highlights the importance of self-awareness in fostering genuine relationships. Listeners learn to differentiate personal responsibility from people-pleasing, empowering them to nurture authentic connections.
59:37

Episode guests

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

  • Breaking the people-pleasing cycle requires recognizing how the desire for approval often stems from past relationships and upbringing.
  • Establishing healthy boundaries is essential for authenticity in relationships, allowing individuals to differentiate between kindness and people-pleasing behavior.

Deep dives

The Burden of Codependency

Many individuals experience a sense of obligation that leads them to prioritize the needs of others over their own, resulting in codependency. This behavior often stems from upbringing, particularly in highly authoritarian or religious households, where self-abandonment is praised as a virtue. People tend to engage in actions that they believe help others while overlooking the toll it takes on their own mental and emotional well-being. The recognition of this unhealthy pattern is the first step toward reclaiming personal agency and ensuring actions stem from genuine desire rather than obligation.

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