In this episode, Terri Cole discusses how to break the people-pleasing cycle and set healthy boundaries. She explores the fine line between kindness and people- pleasing and how sometimes, what feels like generosity might actually be an attempt to control someone else’s reaction or avoid conflict altogether. Terri also explains why so many of us fall into this “peace at any cost” mentality and the toll it takes on us. She offers powerful tools to help us break free from that compulsion and get clear on what we’re really responsible for, and how to show up authentically in our relationships.
Key Takeaways:
- 00:03:03 – Tending to the Shadow Side
- 00:04:12 – Finding Balance: Reacting vs. Responding
- 00:06:06 – The Resentment Inventory
- 00:10:04 – Taking Responsibility for Our Feelings
- 00:11:14 – Understanding Activation and Transference
- 00:15:43 – The Impact of Past Relationships
- 00:19:01 – Defining High Functioning Codependency
- 00:20:15 – Characteristics of High Functioning Codependents
- 00:26:38 – The Importance of Mindful Habit Changes
- 00:27:32 – Distinguishing Kindness from Codependency
- 00:29:04 – Questions to Differentiate Responsibility
- 00:34:48 – The Role of Boundaries in Relationships
- 00:37:01 – The Challenge of Letting Go
- 00:40:28 – The Power of Asking the Right Questions
- 00:43:41 – Conclusion: The Balance of Giving and Receiving
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