Is Your Need for Approval Causing Anxiety? A Talk with Dr. Aziz
Aug 27, 2023
auto_awesome
Dr. Aziz Gazipura, an expert on anxiety and its origins, discusses the pitfalls of being 'too nice' and the role of unaddressed issues in anxiety. He shares his personal journey from shyness to social confidence and explores techniques for practicing Shadow work. Topics covered include trauma healing, assertiveness, and expressing oneself without reservations.
The origins of anxiety can be explained through exposure, cognitive, biological, and hidden emotion models.
Being 'nice' can lead to emotional turmoil and mental health struggles, as it often involves suppressing one's own feelings to keep the peace.
Authenticity and assertiveness are essential in breaking away from excessive niceness and finding personal fulfillment.
Deep dives
Recognizing the Impact of Anxiety
Anxiety is a significant problem that can hinder our potential and overall well-being. It can manifest in various ways, such as chronic worrying, fear of judgment, social anxiety, and difficulty building connections. This can lead to a lack of enjoyment in life and feelings of insecurity. Overcoming anxiety requires learning psychological skills and the philosophy of happiness. Stoicism, in particular, offers valuable insights in breaking free from anxiety's grip.
Understanding the Pitfalls of Niceness
The concept of being 'nice' can often inhibit our true selves and hinder our confidence. While being polite and kind are positive traits, there is a fine line between genuine kindness and inhibiting our own needs and desires to keep others comfortable. Suppressing these aspects can lead to deteriorating relationships, frustration, and unmet needs. Engaging in a journey of authenticity and assertiveness is essential in breaking away from the shackles of excessive niceness and finding personal fulfillment.
The Importance of Authenticity and Assertiveness
Being authentic and assertive is a powerful way to break free from the self-imposed limitations of niceness. Authenticity involves acknowledging and expressing our true feelings, desires, and boundaries, even if they may cause temporary discomfort. Similarly, assertiveness enables us to confidently communicate our needs, say no, and set clear boundaries. Cultivating these qualities allows us to experience genuine connections, achieve personal growth, and overcome the fear of judgment.
Exploring the Shadow Self
The concept of the shadow self, popularized by Carl Jung, refers to the repressed, darker aspects of our personality that we deem unacceptable or bad. These aspects are formed through upbringing, societal influences, and personal experiences. Engaging in shadow work involves acknowledging, exploring, and integrating these shadow elements. By allowing ourselves to confront and understand these aspects with curiosity and self-compassion, we can achieve greater emotional freedom and personal growth.
Healing and Growth Through Trauma Work
In some cases, unresolved trauma can contribute to anxiety and hinder personal growth. Exploring past experiences and healing emotional wounds is a crucial part of building confidence and authenticity. Trauma healing involves acknowledging and processing traumatic events, gaining self-awareness, and using various therapeutic techniques to foster healing. Combining trauma work with other strategies, such as optimizing one's life, can foster profound personal transformation.
In this episode, we delve into the complexities of anxiety with Dr. Aziz Gazipura. We explore four primary frameworks that explain the origins of anxiety:
1. Exposure: Anxiety stems from avoiding certain situations. 2. Cognitive: Irrational thoughts can escalate our anxiety levels. 3. Biological: Biochemical shifts can also trigger anxiety.
But the fourth, known as "The Hidden Emotion Model," suggests that unaddressed issues and suppressed emotions in our lives are key contributors to anxiety. This is essentially another term for being "too nice."
Being "nice" often means keeping the peace at the expense of your own feelings, which can ultimately lead to emotional turmoil and mental health struggles. I can personally relate to this, as my perspective changed after diving into Dr. Aziz's work.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura is not just a compelling speaker but also holds a PhD in clinical psychology. This makes his work both engaging and rooted in scientific research. He specializes in helping people build social confidence.
In our discussion, we cover a wide array of topics, including:
- Why Dr. Aziz emphasizes the pitfalls of being "too nice." - The role of trauma healing in contrast to self-optimization. - The significance of Shadow work and techniques for practicing it. - Striking a balance between assertiveness and compassion. - Dr. Aziz's personal journey from shyness to social confidence. - Ways to express yourself without reservation.
And much more! Don't miss this enlightening episode.