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The Josh Boone Show
#26: Amanda Catarzi – Sex Trafficking, Cults & Childhood Abuse
Oct 30, 2022
02:23:11
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Quick takeaways
- Sex trafficking is prevalent across the United States, affecting men, women, and children in various abusive scenarios.
- Attending a ministry school in California challenged the speaker's previous conditioning and allowed for personal growth and self-discovery.
- Involvement in MMA boxing provided a sense of belonging and community, despite the dysfunctional aspects that led to an abusive relationship.
- Surviving an abusive relationship and sex trafficking involved rationalizing the abuse, dissociation from emotions, and the difficulty of breaking a cycle.
- Overcoming brain trauma, miscarriage, and postpartum depression, the speaker chooses to use their experiences to help others and find meaning in their pain.
Deep dives
Conditioning and Misconceptions about Sex Trafficking
One of the main misconceptions about sex trafficking is that it only happens in sketchy areas or to certain types of people. In reality, sex trafficking is a massive industry that is prevalent across the United States. American men, women, and children are bought and sold for sex, often in abusive relationships that transition into trafficking scenarios. Children are particularly vulnerable, with many being trafficked online without even realizing it. It is important for people to understand that sex trafficking is not distant or unrelated to their own lives, but rather a close and ever-present issue.
Rebellion and Seeking Identity in California
After escaping her trafficker, the speaker, Amanda Katarzhi, sought to find herself and rebel against the strict ideologies of her upbringing. She joined a ministry school in California, which provided an environment for exploration and self-discovery. This experience allowed her to reframe her understanding of religion and embrace a God who is loving and caring. The school challenged her previous beliefs and provided a space for vulnerability and open discussions about trauma and abuse. Despite the dysfunctional aspects, it was a transformative period that helped her find her own identity and question her previous conditioning.
Building Community and MMA Boxing
While attending the ministry school, Amanda found a sense of belonging and community through her involvement in MMA boxing. She quickly excelled in the sport, earning the nickname 'Big Balls' due to her skills. The MMA gym became her second family, a group of people who were highly dysfunctional yet refreshingly honest and authentic about their experiences. Sharing war stories of trauma and challenging backgrounds, Amanda felt both familiarity and comfort. However, her openness also led her to be vulnerable to predatory individuals, which eventually resulted in an abusive relationship.
Abuse and Grooming in an Abusive Relationship
The speaker entered into a relationship with a boxing coach who had a history of abusive behavior towards women. He engaged in a grooming process, gradually eroding her boundaries and violating her values. This included suggesting she have sexual encounters with other men and putting her in dangerous situations. He also facilitated her gang rape while she was blacked out drunk. Throughout the relationship, he manipulated her with apologies, promises to change, and expressions of love, while exploiting her for financial gain. The speaker's previous conditioning and trauma played a role in her vulnerability to these abusive dynamics.
Recovering from Trauma and Finding Healthy Relationships
The podcast episode discusses the speaker's experience of being in an abusive relationship and surviving sex trafficking. The speaker shares how they initially rationalized the abuse and gradually dissociated from their emotions. They also highlight the cycle of abuse where moments of extreme violence were followed by moments of affection, creating a pattern that was difficult to break. The speaker finally escaped after a car accident and decided to leave their abuser. They then had a conversation with their parents about their past abuse, but faced disbelief and denial. The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing the signs of abuse and the journey of finding healthy relationships and self-acceptance.
The Journey of Healing and Post-Traumatic Growth
After leaving the abusive relationship, the speaker shares their healing process, including dealing with brain trauma, the possibility of CTE from multiple concussions, and their experience of a miscarriage. Despite the pain and trauma, the speaker chooses not to remain a victim and instead focuses on using their experiences to help others. They express gratitude for the lessons learned and the personal growth that has resulted from their past experiences. The speaker also acknowledges the challenges of coping with postpartum depression and navigating emotions while striving for post-traumatic growth and finding meaning in the pain.
Transitioning to Content Strategy and Freelancing
The podcast episode discusses the speaker's transition to content strategy and freelancing work. The speaker had experience writing case notes, emails, and curriculum during their work in anti-sex trafficking organizations, which led to them discovering their talent for writing and communication. They eventually pursued freelance writing and joined a content agency. The speaker acknowledges the challenges of imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and setting pricing for their services. They also share their experience of balancing mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, and bipolar disorder, while working as a freelancer. The speaker highlights the importance of understanding one's patterns, creating disciplined routines, and prioritizing self-care in order to navigate the ups and downs of entrepreneurship.
Taking Ownership and Empowerment
The speaker emphasizes the importance of taking extreme ownership of one's life and circumstances. They believe that individuals have the power to create their own reality and are responsible for their own happiness and success. They express frustration towards those who make excuses and surrender their power, urging listeners to realize their potential and take control of their lives.
The Power of Therapy and Healing
The speaker discusses the transformative power of therapy and personal healing. They share their own journey of going to therapy and how it helped them process and overcome trauma. They highlight the importance of finding a good therapist and using effective techniques like rewinding memories to release emotional weight. The speaker also touches on the concept of self-kindness and the influence of trauma on one's worldview.
23.
I'm Dealing With PTSD and It's Hard but You're Not Like It Still Does Its Job?
3min
Amanda Catarzi is a speaker, strategist, MMA fighter, and sex trafficking survivor.
After escaping her trafficker, Amanda dedicated 10 years to fighting sex trafficking. In her journey, she counseled the New Zealand Government, wrote federal legislation, and went undercover to expose trafficking rings.
Currently, she is the owner of the copywriting agency Inkery Co, where she and her team are passionate about helping others find their voice and using it effectively to make a positive change in the world.
Some of the topics we dive into are:
- The misconceptions about sex trafficking
- Childhood abuse within the family and church
- Growing up in a cult
- The impact of trauma and PTSD
- Traumatic Brain Injury
- Grief and postpartum depression
- Domestic violence
- Post-traumatic growth
- Amanda’s experiences working with sexually abused and trafficked children
- Entrepreneurship and putting yourself out there as a content creator
- And lots more
Connect with Amanda
Music by Kirby Johnston – check out his band Aldaraia on Spotify.
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