Growth Mindset Psychology: The Science of Self-Improvement

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How to Stop Wasting Time with the Wrong People - Emotional maturity with Jonathan Aslay

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Feb 3, 2026

Guest

Jonathan Aslay

Jonathan Aslay, dating coach and author who rebuilt his life after major loss, talks about emotional maturity and practical self-love. Short scenes: how one question exposes emotional immaturity, why chemistry without shared values fails, interviewing dates like vetting a partner, and using inner peace as a compass for relationships.

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ANECDOTE

From Loss To Rebuilding

Jonathan Aslay lost his job, home, millions, and his 19-year-old son before rebuilding through personal development.
He describes being burned to ashes and rising with self-help and spiritual work as his recovery path.

question_answer

ANECDOTE

Day Trading During The Crash

Jonathan describes day trading his remaining funds during the 2008 crash and losing nearly everything.
He links that financial collapse to emotional devastation and poor attention to his finances.

insights

INSIGHT

Use Inner Peace As A Barometer

Use inner peace as a daily barometer to detect imbalance and act accordingly.
Jonathan recommends reading, meditating, or watching nurturing content when anxiety rises.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Jonathan's collapse and recovery

03:05 • 2min

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How the market crash wiped him out

04:39 • 57sec

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Escaping addiction to online dating

05:37 • 1min

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Defining self-love practically

06:43 • 3min

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Could you have learned earlier?

09:13 • 2min

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Generational wisdom and technology

11:25 • 2min

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Inner peace as a compass

12:58 • 3min

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Chemistry vs compatibility in dating

16:07 • 1min

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The marriage question that reveals maturity

Applying interview questions to partnerships

23:01 • 3min

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How to answer tough questions on dates

25:57 • 3min

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Nonviolent communication and books to read

28:32 • 3min

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Investing in relationship growth

31:35 • 3min

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Earliest memories and their meaning

34:10 • 1min

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Kindness after tragedy

35:29 • 1min

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Final invitation to self-love practice

• Mentioned in 2 episodes

The Partnership Charter

David Gage

While specifics on "The Partnership Charter" are limited, it's likely a guidebook offering frameworks and advice for establishing successful partnerships, particularly in business ventures. The book probably covers crucial aspects like defining roles, responsibilities, and decision-making processes within a partnership. It likely emphasizes the importance of open communication, conflict resolution, and shared vision to ensure long-term success and avoid common pitfalls. The book may also delve into legal and financial considerations for partnerships, providing a comprehensive guide for navigating the complexities of collaborative ventures. Ultimately, it aims to equip partners with the tools and strategies to build a strong, enduring, and mutually beneficial relationship.

#34577

What The Heck Is Self-Love Anyway?

Jonathan Asley

#17

• Mentioned in 385 episodes

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie

First published in 1936, 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie is a timeless guide to improving interpersonal skills. The book is divided into four main sections: Six Ways to Make People Like You, Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking, and Nine Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment. Carnegie's principles emphasize the importance of genuine interest in others, active listening, and avoiding criticism and argument. The book offers practical advice on how to build strong relationships, communicate effectively, and influence others by aligning their self-interest with yours. It has been a cornerstone of personal development and business success for generations.

#339

• Mentioned in 74 episodes

Nonviolent Communication

A Language of Life

Marshall B. Rosenberg

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a framework created by Marshall Rosenberg that aims to enhance communication by promoting compassion and empathy. The book outlines a four-step process for effective communication: observing what is happening without judgment, identifying and expressing feelings, recognizing and articulating needs, and making clear requests. Rosenberg emphasizes the importance of separating observations from evaluations to avoid defensiveness and promote genuine human connections. The book includes practical exercises, role-plays, and real-life examples to illustrate how NVC can be applied in various relationships and situations, including personal, professional, and conflict resolution contexts. It also discusses how NVC can help in developing self-compassion and resolving conflicts by focusing on the underlying needs rather than the actions that trigger emotions.

Most people treat dating like a lottery; swipe, hope, repeat.

Jonathan Aslay lost $2 million, his marriage, and his son. What saved him wasn't positive thinking. It was asking one brutal question: "What happened in your marriage?"

Not to judge. To observe. Because how someone talks about their ex reveals everything about their emotional maturity. Self-love isn't bubble baths and affirmations. It's having the spine to walk away from someone hot but emotionally stunted. It's recognizing that your body screams "yes" while your values whisper "run."

Chemistry is a drug. Compatibility is architecture. Most relationships fail because people confuse the two.

You'll learn:

The exact question that exposes emotional immaturity in 30 seconds
Why chemistry without shared values guarantees failure
How to interview dates without sounding like HR (and why you should)

Stop wasting months on people who were wrong from day three.

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CHAPTERS

00:00 - Introduction: When Success Becomes Suffering

01:32 - Jonathan's Story: Losing Everything

03:45 - The Market Crash and Day Trading Disaster

05:20 - From Greed to Self-Love

06:15 - What Self-Love Actually Means

08:40 - Self-Love vs. Narcissism

10:25 - Could You Have Learned This Earlier?

13:10 - Generational Wisdom and Technology

14:50 - Dating in the Tinder Era

17:20 - Inner Peace as a Barometer

19:05 - Discipline and Daily Practice

20:15 - The Dating Problem: Chemistry vs. Compatibility

22:30 - The Marriage Question That Reveals Everything

24:45 - Emotional Maturity and Taking Ownership

26:20 - Why You Should Interview Your Dates

27:40 - The Partnership Charter

28:35 - How They React to Questions

29:25 - The Job Question: Eeyore vs. Tigger

30:10 - Earliest Memories

31:28 - Kindest Thing Someone Has Done

32:23 - Advice for Life

33:15 - Outro: Be Kind to Yourself

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