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#459: Books I've Loved — Alain de Botton

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Sep 4, 2020

Guest

Alain de Botton

Alain de Botton, the founder of The School of Life and acclaimed author, shares his literary passion in this engaging conversation. He delves into how childhood experiences shape our emotional development, introducing concepts of the 'true self' and 'false self.' The discussion also highlights the notion of the 'good enough parent,' advocating for authentic self-expression in children. De Botton emphasizes embracing imperfection and draws on Schopenhauer's insights to help listeners confront life's inevitable despair.

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insights

INSIGHT

True vs. False Self

Donald Winnicott's true self is your authentic, unfiltered expression.
A false self develops from external expectations; a balance is key.

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ADVICE

The Good Enough Parent

Strive to be a "good enough" parent, friend, or worker, not perfect.
Perfection hinders growth; accept imperfections and disappointment.

insights

INSIGHT

Schopenhauer's Consolation

Schopenhauer's pessimism can be oddly comforting.
Confronting despair and accepting life's imperfections can bring solace.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

The Journey of Authenticity: True Self vs. False Self in Childhood

04:16 • 4min

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Navigating Parenting: The Concept of the 'Good Enough Parent'

08:18 • 2min

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Embracing Imperfection and Finding Comfort in Despair

10:20 • 4min

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Home Is Where We Start From

Essays by a Psychoanalyst

Donald Winnicott

This book by Donald Winnicott gathers his important essays, including previously unpublished talks, focusing on themes such as childhood development, the role of the mother, and societal influences on mental health. It highlights Winnicott's emphasis on play and creativity in developing a true self. The essays also touch on broader societal issues, though some views may seem outdated due to their historical context.

Essays on the Wisdom of Life

Arthur Schopenhauer

The Tao of Seneca

Practical Letters from a Stoic Master

Seneca the Younger (Lucius Annaeus Seneca)

This book is a compilation of Seneca's letters, known as the *Epistulae Morales* (Moral Epistles), which provide practical advice on Stoic principles. It covers topics such as the importance of living in accordance with nature, the dangers of external influences on happiness, the value of self-control, and the pursuit of virtue. Seneca's writings emphasize the need to focus on inner strength, endurance, and the cultivation of a sound mind, rather than seeking happiness through external goods like fame and riches.

The Graveyard Book

Neil Gaiman

The Graveyard Book tells the story of Nobody 'Bod' Owens, a young boy who escapes his family's murderer, known as the man Jack, and finds refuge in a graveyard. There, he is adopted and raised by the ghostly residents, Mr. and Mrs. Owens, and protected by the mysterious caretaker Silas. As Bod grows up, he learns supernatural abilities and faces various dangers both within and outside the graveyard. The book follows Bod's adventures and his eventual transition into the world of the living, exploring themes of identity, family, and the intersection of life and death.

Essentialism

The Disciplined Pursuit of Less

Greg McKeown

In 'Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less,' Greg McKeown argues that by applying a more selective criteria for what is essential, individuals can regain control of their time and energy. The book is divided into sections such as Explore, Eliminate, and Execute, providing practical advice on distinguishing the vital few from the trivial many and eliminating non-essential activities. McKeown emphasizes the importance of clarity of focus, the ability to say 'no,' and living 'by design, not by default. ' This approach helps readers achieve more by doing less and making the highest possible contribution in their personal and professional lives.

Welcome to another episode of The Tim Ferriss Show, where it is my job to sit down with world-class performers of all different types—from startup founders and investors to chess champions to Olympic athletes. This episode, however, is an experiment and part of a shorter series I’m doing called “Books I’ve Loved.” I’ve invited some amazing past guests, close friends, and new faces to share their favorite books—the books that have influenced them, changed them, and transformed them for the better. I hope you pick up one or two new mentors—in the form of books—from this new series and apply the lessons in your own life.

Alain de Botton (@alaindebotton) is the founder and Chairman of The School of Life. He is a writer of essayistic books that have been described as a 'philosophy of everyday life.' He’s written on love, travel, architecture and literature, including the titles How Proust Can Change Your Life and The Consolations of Philosophy. His books have been bestsellers in 30 countries.

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