TU120: Finding Security and Healing Attachment with Dr. David Elliott
Apr 27, 2020
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Dr. David Elliott, an expert in healing attachment, discusses using the power of imagination and positive imagery to find connection and regulate emotions during the pandemic. He emphasizes the importance of relationships and strategies for addressing attachment trauma, and explores the impact of uncertainty on our nervous system. The chapter also delves into the power of imagination, its effect on the brain, and using it to overcome challenges. Additionally, Dr. Elliott shares insights on healing attachment wounds through imaginative connection and acknowledging the grief of missed opportunities.
Seek alternative ways to experience closeness and connection during physical distancing to satisfy our need for attachment.
Use imagination as a therapeutic tool to create positive mental imagery of attachment figures, promoting healing and relieving loneliness or distress.
Deep dives
The Importance of Secure Attachment in Times of Threat
In this podcast episode, the hosts discuss the relevance of secure attachment during times of threat and danger, particularly in the context of the current pandemic. They highlight that secure attachment is a fundamental aspect of human survival and emphasize the importance of seeking out helpful and protective connections. However, they acknowledge that the recommended practice of physical distancing presents a challenge to our attachment systems, which crave closeness and connection. They suggest that even though physical distance is necessary, our bodies still crave connection, and they encourage listeners to recognize and honor this need while finding alternative ways to experience closeness.
Imagining Connection to Alleviate Loneliness and Distress
The hosts introduce the concept of using imagination as a therapeutic tool to address attachment disturbances and promote healing. They explain a three-pillar model for treating attachment disturbances, with the first pillar focusing on the use of imagination to create positive mental imagery of attachment figures. They highlight the power of imagination to evoke similar brain activity and neuronal firings as actual engagement in activities, leading to improved outcomes. They encourage listeners to engage in guided imagery exercises to imagine being with supportive and comforting figures, whether real or imagined, to experience the benefits of connection and find relief from loneliness or distress.
Acknowledging and Accepting Emotional Responses
The hosts emphasize the importance of acknowledging and accepting a range of emotional responses during challenging times. They discuss how feelings of fatigue, anxiety, and disorganization can be normal reactions to the current uncertainties and threats. They highlight the impact of stress on the brain and explain that our nervous systems allocate less energy to higher cortical functions, leading to changes in cognitive functioning. They encourage listeners to honor their emotions, practice self-compassion, and understand that their reactions are valid and adaptive responses to the current circumstances.
Using Imagery to Foster a Sense of Connection
The hosts provide a step-by-step guided imagery exercise for listeners to practice on their own. They suggest imagining being with someone with whom they feel safe and comfortable, whether it is a real person in their life or someone they imagine. They highlight the importance of creating a vivid inner experience and focusing on bodily sensations to enhance the sense of connection. They emphasize that this practice can be particularly valuable for individuals experiencing social isolation, as it allows them to tap into the channels in their psyches and nervous systems that respond to connection. They end by encouraging listeners to use this exercise as a resource whenever they feel the need for connection and support.
Is this pandemic making your nervous system crunchy? Learn about healing attachment and how to use one of the Elliott and Brown's 3 pillars of healing attachment to cope during this society-wide emotional hotbox. Using the first pillar of the three pillars of healing attachment, using the imaginings of your mind to leverage security, David explains how this practice can be beneficial during a time where we're looking for connection to regulate and heal.
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