So for the listeners out there that have various degrees of social isolation right now, could be someone who's on their own completely, or it could be even somebody that's in a relationship that doesn't feel connecting. And I would imagine there's a sense of whatever experience of feeling alone and disconnect it is for you. This could be such a great resource to be able to have a go-to, to like a feeling, a sense of a desire for connection that I can't quite meet. How often would you imagine somebody using something like this?

Well, I would say as often as the person feels like it could be useful. Again, there's a wide variation in the degree of need or value of this kind of thing. The more isolated someone's feeling and the more distressed that might come from that, then the more useful it would be to listen a little more frequently or practice it a little more frequently. For someone who maybe has a lot, you know, reasonable and connectedness and connections, it's the circumstances as they are now. But maybe missing one particular person, you know, like if say one's mother or father is across the country or across the world somewhere, even though the spouse or kids are in the home and that's feeling really good, we can still miss individual people. And I would suggest following this imaginative practice for the mother or the father, whoever it is that you're feeling particularly disconnected from and feeling sad about. So you can transcend time and space and actually meet up with that person in our experience.

It's so interesting you should say that David, the imagery that I chose to do was to imagine being close to my mother who passed away over 30 years ago. And I noticed both the joy in the sense of being able to feel connected. And then moments of sadness along the way of the loss, and I could find myself toggling and I ended up sort of really feeling most of the connection along the way, but I felt myself just really feeling waves every once in a while of loss along the way and then connection. His connection is not always just about warmth. It could bring a variety of feelings to us.

It's such a good point when I'm working with somebody specifically on healing from attachment insecurity. The way we do it in that context is the patient or client actually imagines from the inner felt sense, not being the adult that he or she is, but being a child, being a child, and being with parents, imagined parents who would be just right for the self as child. It's not uncommon that somebody will early on in the process talk about the actual parents not being able to be the ways that the person is imagining the best possible parents to be. And that's actually quite normal, the grieving, the sense of loss of sadness that can come from that. So yeah, you know, of course, you know, your parents, they can only be as best as they can be. They get their best and it's not about making them bad, but you know what? You missed out in certain things and you can feel sad about that. And obviously for you, thinking of your mom, wonderfully, you could have that felt sense of connection with her. Really wonderful. And that felt sense of connection naturally brings up the sense of loss because she hasn't been

around for 30 years in person. And I can imagine if one's out there and feeling isolated and having this experience, you might experience your aloneness a little bit more deeply in this journey of also feeling connection and share that with the person who's with us. Like to be able to experience it and not be so much of our worn out feeling is blocking feelings, isn't it? It's blocking the anxiety, it's blocking loss and welcoming it in and even being comforted by it. And that's what I was able to do in my imagery is how would my mom respond to my own loss of her? So it was actually super connecting and I'm imagining other individuals who are alone and imagining the feeling of connection and the loss along the way. And just inviting people to allow that in and feel comforted because it's the connection, not just the positive feelings, but any sense of connection, even connection and our sadness. Right? Like, there is so important to say I've been lonely and I'm so glad to sort of be in the connection of even the sadness or the fears about the COVID or the fears about being alone.

So true and I'm so glad you described your experience of this, particularly how you brought your sense of sadness into the imagery experience. You can bring that to your mom together with her acknowledge that you're sad that she isn't with you, that you lost her all those years ago. And because it's imagination, we can have it be any way we want. It might not make so-called logical sense to bring the loss of her to your mother, but you can do that in imagination completely free. And when people do things like that, as you described, it actually is very healing. It contributes to the healing process.

And to bring it into this current moment, for any of you out there that were able to travel with us on this experience and to just invite you just to welcome whatever experiences that you felt. David, your voice is so soothing and so loving, so I was able to really utilize that to feel nurtured by you, along in this journey, and feel nurtured. And I hope that was true for the other listeners out there to just feel the nurturing in your wonderful voice and the soothing and your openness. And we're going to put this separate from the podcast. So it'll be in the podcast as well as on our website as a separate entity

so that people can come back to it. That's a great idea. Let me just make one more point about allowing whatever comes in to the imagery as you highlighted. It wouldn't be surprising that if there's somebody you are imagining being connected with who isn't with you, that a variety of feelings could come up. Like you said with your mama, a sense of sadness around the loss. But maybe somebody could have some anger come up at that person there imagining, like why aren't you here? Or something like that? Well, the principle, if that happens, as you said, is just keep that there. Bring it into the imagery. You tell the person, you know, I'm mad that you're so far away. Why aren't you here with me? And then let that person who's being supportive and understanding in a tune as much as possible. Let that imagine person respond. It's like, well, of course, you're mad. I wish I could have been here more. I wish I could be here for you more. Let me hold you or let me acknowledge that that's what you're feeling now. There's nothing wrong with what you're feeling.

And I imagine too that this may be a journey where you become more and more comfortable with it. So try it. And then over repetition, probably your body and your imagery becomes easier to access and more available and can be further developed each time. It's not just the felt sense in the moment that feels so good. It really is having an impact on our social emotional engagement and our nervous system and the encoding of our body. And the development of a deeper sense of security inside yourself in this moment of such a hard time and that a felt sense of security and to deepen that felt sense is what also will help us be able to weather this. So we want to be able to use imagery in our bodies in so many different ways. You, for the moment with your wife, imagine that we're all going to get through this, imagining we're not alone. We're wanting to develop that felt sense of security in our system to help weather the storm of what we're all in together universally. And

the more the felt sense is felt and the clearer that is, the more that's an indication and can give us confidence that it's actually affecting the nervous system in the ways that can be so helpful amidst the challenges and threats that we're all facing.

David, thank you so much for being on the show and for bringing this is such a great resource. It's such an important time and I have such gratitude to you for bringing yourself and bringing this wonderful information to us. So thank you so much. So very welcome. It's a pleasure. It's always a pleasure to talk with

you, Anne. And I'm so glad we're working on the book together with Sue.

Yes, yes, this just motivates us more, doesn't it? It just motivates us to use and to continue these kinds of imagery in all sorts of different ways in different circumstances that can lead to such deep healing and security building. So

I wish all of the listeners well and may you find ways to navigate all this with the best possible resources in or in outer.

Thank you. And the contact information for David and information about him will be in our show notes. We really appreciate you joining us and we will see you around the bin.

Therapist uncensored is Anne Kelly in Sue Marriott. This podcast is edited by Jack Anderson.

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