Life Kit Overcoming romantic obsession
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Sep 16, 2025 In this enlightening discussion, neuroscientist Tom Bellamy, author of 'Smitten,' shares insights into the neuroscience behind limerence and obsessive love. He draws parallels between romantic obsession and addiction, detailing the emotional highs and lows that come with it. Listeners learn about practical strategies for overcoming these intense feelings, such as limiting contact with the object of infatuation and embracing self-compassion. Tom also offers tips on reframing fantasies and redirecting focus towards healthier interests for personal growth.
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Limerence As An Altered Mental State
- Limerence is an altered mental state of profound romantic infatuation that feels like a natural high.
- It can be healthy in early mutual relationships but becomes harmful when it persists without a real bond.
Research Sparked By Personal Experience
- Tom Bellamy developed problematic limerence despite being happily married and sought to understand his brain.
- He used neuroscience and Dorothy Tennov's work to frame his personal experience and research.
How Limerence Manifests
- Common limerence symptoms include intrusive thoughts, idealization, mood swings and physical anxiety around the person.
- People either recognize these symptoms from experience or view them as unhealthy neurotic behavior.
