Adult Child 205: Addicted to Chaos - Boundaries, Triggers & Rebuilding Self-Trust w/ Amy Fiedler
Nov 12, 2025
Amy Fiedler, a trauma specialist and coach who grew up around alcoholism, shares insights on overcoming relational chaos. She introduces the 3–3–3 Boundary Method to help set boundaries effectively. Amy emphasizes recognizing triggers as data and the importance of regulating emotions before responding. She discusses the journey from needing to be chosen to choosing oneself, and the significance of co-regulation in healthy relationships. Listeners can explore how to map their values for better self-trust and healthier boundaries.
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Boundaries Are A Nervous-System Skill
- Boundaries are a nervous-system skill, not just communication lines.
- If your body is hijacked by past trauma, spoken limits will often collapse.
Turning Point At Fifteen
- At 15 Amy recognized she was unwell after expressing suicidal thoughts and being gaslit by her mother.
- That moment launched her certainty that her environment caused harm and she needed outside help.
Calling Out Hidden Alcohol
- Amy described confronting a parent's hidden alcohol stash and being gaslit that it was 'water.'
- She also often found herself cleaning up accidents and calling 911 while others froze or denied the problem.