Addicted to Chaos: Boundaries, Triggers & Rebuilding Self-Trust w/ Amy Fiedler

Nov 12, 2025

Amy Fiedler, a trauma specialist and coach who grew up around alcoholism, shares insights on overcoming relational chaos. She introduces the 3–3–3 Boundary Method to help set boundaries effectively. Amy emphasizes recognizing triggers as data and the importance of regulating emotions before responding. She discusses the journey from needing to be chosen to choosing oneself, and the significance of co-regulation in healthy relationships. Listeners can explore how to map their values for better self-trust and healthier boundaries.

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INSIGHT

Boundaries Are A Nervous-System Skill

Boundaries are a nervous-system skill, not just communication lines.
If your body is hijacked by past trauma, spoken limits will often collapse.

ANECDOTE

Turning Point At Fifteen

At 15 Amy recognized she was unwell after expressing suicidal thoughts and being gaslit by her mother.
That moment launched her certainty that her environment caused harm and she needed outside help.

ANECDOTE

Calling Out Hidden Alcohol

Amy described confronting a parent's hidden alcohol stash and being gaslit that it was 'water.'
She also often found herself cleaning up accidents and calling 911 while others froze or denied the problem.

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