Adult Child

Andrea Ashley

Adult Child dives deep into the lasting effects of growing up in dysfunctional families—unpacking complex and relational trauma, codependency, toxic shame, and addiction patterns with raw vulnerability and unapologetic authenticity.Hosted by Andrea Ashley, a recovering shitshow with 17 years sober, each episode shares unfiltered insights, expert conversations, and practical tools to heal your nervous system and break free from the cycles that hold you back.Whether you’re an adult child of alcoholics or from a dysfunctional family, navigating toxic relationships, or healing your inner child, this is your no-BS space for healing. New episodes every Wednesday & Saturday.And damn the join The Shitshow Healing Community for live support groups and connection with fellow cycle breakers.

Episodes

Mentioned books

Oct 22, 2025 • 1h 13min

When Relationships Become Battlefields: Tian Dayton on Relational Triggers, Inner Child Fights & Emotional Sobriety

Every argument has an audience you can’t see — the ghosts of the past. This episode unpacks how unhealed trauma sneaks into our relationships and how to finally stop fighting the wrong person.Dr. Tian Dayton is a clinical psychologist, Senior Fellow at The Meadows, and author of 15 books including The ACoA Trauma Syndrome and Emotional Sobriety. In this conversation, she revisits the moment that changed everything — standing in her living room, locked in a fight with her husband, and realizing they weren’t two adults arguing, but two wounded children replaying their pasts.✨ What this episode explores:▪️The Trauma Beneath “Normal” Conflict — How seemingly small arguments can carry the emotional charge of decades-old pain the body never had permission to release.▪️When Healing Turns Humbling — Why moments of regression often mean your system finally feels safe enough to touch what’s been frozen, not that you’re back at square one.▪️The Myth of the “Functional” Family — Why growing up around unspoken pain or denial can be just as damaging as overt abuse - and often harder to name.▪️Intimacy as Exposure Therapy — How relationships become the stage where our deepest attachment wounds are both triggered and given a chance to heal.▪️The Courage to Feel, Not Fix — Why emotional sobriety isn’t about control or calm, but learning to stay present when every instinct wants to shut down.▪️Healing as a Group Effort — How true recovery requires co-regulation, witnessing, and community - not just self-awareness or solitary work.— — —⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Oct 18, 2025 • 39min

SHITSHOW SATURDAY #174 - Our First Trauma Bonds

⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Oct 15, 2025 • 51min

Trauma-Bonded No More: My Journey Through Shame, Regression & Finding My Way Back

Ever wonder what happens when the host of a trauma podcast finds herself right back in the trenches?A story about what happens when healing collides with old survival patterns — and how the body can pull you back into the past, even when your mind knows better. This isn’t a “how-to.” It’s truth-telling about the gap between understanding your trauma and actually feeling safe inside your own skin.✨ What this episode explores:Childhood relational trauma wires us for trauma bonds — When love and pain come from the same person, the nervous system fuses attachment with fear. As adults, we mistake that familiarity for connection and call it love.Healing from the neck up leaves the body stuck in the past — Insight can’t rewire survival responses. You can name every pattern and still have a body that flinches, freezes, or fawns like the child who first learned danger was love.Regression isn’t failure; it’s unfinished business surfacing — When old patterns return, it doesn’t mean you’ve backslid. It means your system finally feels safe enough to process what once overwhelmed you. The “relapse” is readiness in disguise.Trauma bonds aren’t about the other person, they’re about your body seeking familiarity — You don’t stay because you want pain; you stay because your nervous system confuses chaos and inconsistency with connection. It feels like home because it once was.Managing someone else’s dysfunction can become a lifelong neural pathway — If you grew up regulating a parent, control equals safety. As an adult, your brain lights up when chaos appears — the same highway it’s been driving your whole life.Grief is often the missing layer in recovery — You can understand and accept the past intellectually yet still carry what you never grieved. Healing deepens when the body finally mourns what it lost — safety, innocence, possibility.— — —⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Oct 11, 2025 • 51min

Mistaking Pain for Love: Mother Hunger, Self-Abandonment & Reprogramming the Subconscious w/ Lisa Romano

What happens when the very people who were supposed to teach you love taught you pain instead? When you’ve been wired for abandonment and neglect, it’s no wonder your nervous system confuses chaos for connection.Lisa A. Romano is a certified life coach, bestselling author, and leading voice in codependency and inner child recovery. After growing up in a home defined by addiction, denial, and emotional neglect, Lisa spent years chasing love in all the wrong places before realizing her patterns were rooted in unresolved childhood wounds.🔑 Mother Hunger & Emotional Neglect – How unmet childhood needs for nurture and safety leave us chasing love in all the wrong places as adults.🔑 Mistaking Pain for Love – Why chaotic relationships feel familiar and safe to adult children of dysfunctional families, even when they’re toxic.🔑 The Cycle of Self-Abandonment – How people-pleasing, perfectionism, and ignoring our needs are survival strategies that keep us disconnected from ourselves.🔑 Reprogramming the Subconscious – Why awareness alone isn’t enough, and how tools like meditation, journaling, and rewiring negative self-talk can change deep patterns.🔑 Breaking the Family Denial System – How speaking the truth about your childhood creates liberation, even if it means being labeled “crazy” by your family.🔑 The Path to Self-Reclamation – Why healing requires radical self-honesty, self-compassion, and releasing the need for others’ validation.Our Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Sep 20, 2025 • 46min

SHITSHOW SATURDAY #170 - Reacting Instead of Acting (Laundry List Trait 14)

DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Sep 13, 2025 • 42min

SHITSHOW SATURDAY #169 - Carole F.

DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱 www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchildAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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