Adult Child

What if the pain you’re feeling today isn’t about the breakup, but about every wound that came before it? When abandonment gets triggered, it pulls you straight back into the shame and fear of childhood.Susan Anderson is a psychotherapist and author known as the leading expert on abandonment and healing attachment wounds. Her groundbreaking work comes not only from clinical expertise, but from living through the pain of being suddenly abandoned after nearly two decades of marriage.The Invisible Drain on Self-Esteem – Why abandonment trauma creates a chronic leak in self-worth that no achievement or relationship can fully patch until the wound itself is addressed.The 5 Stages of Abandonment – Shattering, withdrawal, internalizing, rage, and lifting — the swirl every survivor cycles through, and why knowing the stages helps normalize the chaos.How Childhood Shame Echoes in Adult Love – The rejection, neglect, or humiliation we experienced as kids resurfaces in relationships, fueling self-blame and emotional panic when faced with loss.Why We Choose Abandoning Partners – The unconscious pull toward people who can’t meet us emotionally, and how that cycle reenacts our earliest wounds.The Role of the Inner Child – How creating a “Big Me/Little Me” relationship gives us a way to reparent ourselves and redirect attachment energy inward.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chatSIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What happens when speaking your truth means losing the very people you’ve spent your whole life trying to please? For so many adult children, breaking the silence around abuse and dysfunction doesn’t bring closeness—it brings exile, denial, and the gut-punch of realizing love was always conditional.Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and the author of Believing Me: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Complex Trauma and Fawning Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves–and How to Find Our Way Back. Beyond her professional expertise, Ingrid shares her deeply personal story of surviving childhood narcissistic abuse, decades of gaslighting, and ultimately being estranged from her family after telling the truth. In this conversation, she opens up about how breaking silence became both the greatest heartbreak of her life—and the most powerful step toward reclaiming herself.🔑 The Betrayal of Silence – Why speaking out about abuse often leads to family backlash, denial, and estrangement.🔑 Gaslighting’s Lasting Impact – How years of being told “you’re the problem” erodes trust in your own memories—and what it takes to rebuild it.🔑 The Fawn Response Uncovered – Why people-pleasing and self-sacrifice feel like safety when they’re really survival strategies from childhood.🔑 Estrangement as Self-Protection – How setting boundaries—even with a parent—can be the only path to break cycles of harm.🔑 Owning the Story to Heal the Wounds – Why minimizing or dismissing trauma keeps us stuck, and how naming it opens the door to real recovery.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chatSIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this engaging discussion, Erin Martin, a podcaster and mom, shares her journey from a high-control religious background to navigating recovery and motherhood. She reveals how unresolved trauma can resurface unexpectedly, often manifesting as chronic pain or relapse. Erin emphasizes the significance of therapy beyond the 12 Steps, and explores the profound impact parenting has on revisiting childhood wounds. The conversation also addresses the difference between mom guilt and mom shame, shedding light on how these feelings can hinder true healing.

⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What if the apology, the change, the parent you always wanted… never comes? This episode dives into the painful hope that keeps so many adult children of dysfunctional families stuck.Alana Carvalho is a licensed mental health counselor, author, and speaker specializing in codependency, perfectionism, and relationships. Having grown up in a dysfunctional family herself, Alana knows firsthand the toll enmeshment and unhealthy dynamics can take — and she’s turned that lived experience into a mission to help others untangle from toxic patterns and build healthier, more authentic connections.🔑 Key TakeawaysThe Cost of Waiting for Parents to Change – Why holding onto the hope of an apology or transformation from a dysfunctional parent can keep adult children stuck in cycles of pain and disappointment.Perfectionism as Survival Mode – How growing up in chaos wires us to believe love and safety are earned through achievement, control, and being “good enough.”Codependency Isn’t Compassion – The difference between true empathy and the compulsive caretaking that comes from enmeshment, blurred boundaries, and survival conditioning.The Fantasy of Repair in Therapy – Why bringing abusive or narcissistic parents into therapy often backfires, and what true healing requires instead.Healthy Love After Dysfunction – How breaking free from family enmeshment creates space for authentic selfhood, intimacy, and relationships rooted in freedom rather than fear.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chatSIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

When the people who were supposed to protect you also hurt you, your nervous system learns: closeness is dangerous. This is a conversation about what it takes to finally let yourself receive the love you’ve been craving your whole life — without running from it when it shows up.Paul Gilmartin is a comedian and writer best known as the host of The Mental Illness Happy Hour, a podcast that’s been exploring the messier side of the human mind for over a decade. He shares about his own path through addiction, recovery, and learning how to build a healthy relationship after a lifetime of avoiding intimacy.Key TakeawaysWhy Avoidants Pull Away – How childhood trauma wires your nervous system to see closeness as unsafe, even when you crave connection.Overcoming the Fear of Intimacy – Paul’s path from avoiding commitment to building a secure, deeply connected relationship.Dating with Boundaries – What happens when you create a plan for slow, intentional dating… and what it means when you throw it out the window.Breaking Old Attraction Patterns – How Paul stopped chasing red flags and learned to spot emotional availability.Healthy Love Without Losing Yourself – Building a relationship where both partners have full, independent lives and connection feels like “the ice cream on top.”When Vulnerability Changes Everything – The surprising power of disclosing your story early on, and why the right person won’t run.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chatSIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy