Adult Child 213: The Truth About Estrangement: Boundaries, No Contact & Grief w/ Dr. Sharon Martin
If you keep getting re-triggered by the people you’re trying to heal from, healing starts to feel impossible. This episode unpacks when taking space is the most loving thing you can do for yourself.
Dr. Sharon Martin is a psychotherapist and author specializing in helping adult children recover from difficult childhoods. She's passionate about helping adults overcome the effects of narcissistic and emotional abuse, learn to set boundaries, and develop self-worth. She writes extensively about codependency, perfectionism, and healthy relationships, including the popular blog Conquering Codependency for Psychology Today. Dr. Martin is the author of four self-help books, including The Better Boundaries Workbook and Cutting Ties with Your Parents.
✨ What this episode explores:
Estrangement as Nervous System Safety — Why no contact can be right choice when repeated interactions keep pulling you back into trauma responses.
Boundaries That Aren’t Just Walls — How healthy boundaries can function like a gate you control, letting you adjust access based on emotional safety, behavior, and what your body is telling you in real time.
The Guilt Trap and Family Conditioning — What makes going no contact feel “wrong” even when it’s necessary, and how scapegoating, obligation, and shame keep adult children stuck in roles they’ve outgrown.
Grief for the Parent You Didn’t Get — How estrangement often brings a specific kind of grief where you’re not just mourning the relationship, you’re mourning the hope that your parent will ever be able to show up differently.
Explaining Yourself vs Protecting Yourself — Why giving explanations to emotionally immature or unsafe parents can backfire
Self-Trust as the Real Recovery Skill — How healing often comes down to rebuilding trust in your own judgment so you can reassess contact over time
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