Vernā Myers, former vice president for inclusion strategy at Netflix, shares her insights on navigating challenging conversations. She recounts the fallout from an executive's use of a racial slur and the subsequent internal discussions at Netflix about workplace language and racial sensitivity. Myers emphasizes the importance of mutual respect and personal storytelling in fostering understanding during tough dialogues. Listeners gain strategies for transforming difficult discussions into opportunities for growth and inclusivity.
Avoiding tough conversations often leads to worse outcomes, but engaging in them can be productive and less confrontational than anticipated.
Sharing personal experiences during difficult discussions fosters empathy and understanding, enabling deeper connections and cultural shifts within organizations.
Deep dives
The Beginning of Conflict at Netflix
In February 2018, a discussion about a controversial comedy special sparked a major internal conflict at Netflix. The chief communications officer raised concerns about the slurs used in the comedy special and their potential to offend, emphasizing the need for employees to take complaints seriously. This led to a divisive response within the company, as opinions varied on whether the usage of a racial slur in a non-offensive context warranted the firing of a top executive. Some viewed the decision as an overreaction, while others believed it highlighted a disconnect in understanding the impact of such words on employees of color.
Navigating Difficult Conversations
The discussion also highlighted the anxiety people feel around tough conversations, often leading to avoidance. Research indicated that individuals tend to imagine worst-case scenarios when approaching contentious topics, which can impede open dialogue, particularly in workplace settings. However, when individuals actually engage in these discussions, they often find they are more productive and less confrontational than anticipated. Establishing ground rules for these conversations can help, encouraging respectful disagreement rather than allowing personal attacks to escalate.
The Power of Personal Experience
A key insight is that sharing personal experiences can transform the dynamics of challenging conversations. When individuals communicate their own feelings and experiences, it fosters empathy and understanding, making it easier to bridge gaps in perspectives. This approach was exemplified in workshops at Netflix, where participants discussed instances of feeling excluded or misunderstood, regardless of background. By focusing on shared feelings, employees found common ground, allowing for more fruitful discussions and a gradual shift in the company culture toward openness and respect.
The final installment of our series explores the conversations that most of us dread, like frank discussions of our differences or a negative performance review at work. We often anticipate that these chats will go badly—and end in hurt feelings or embarrassment—but there are proven ways to make them easier to navigate.
Host Charles Duhigg talks with psychologist Jay Van Bavel about strategies for having the hardest conversations. And: Vernā Myers, Netflix’s former vice president for inclusion strategy, tells the story of what happened inside the company after an executive was fired for using a racial slur.
This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by Duhigg’s bestselling book, Supercommunicators. The guides we mention in this episode can be found at charlesduhigg.com/tools/
Supercommunicators was produced by Sophie Summergrad and Derek John, who also did the sound design. We had help with this episode from Daisy Rosario and Seth Brown. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.
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