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#454: Books I've Loved — Whitney Cummings

Aug 21, 2020

Guest

Whitney Cummings

Whitney Cummings, a talented comedian and writer, shares her favorite transformative books that have shaped her perspectives. She discusses the importance of setting boundaries, inspired by 'The Gift of Fear' by Gavin DeBecker, which highlights trusting instincts in tough situations. Cummings also delves into overcoming the fear of public speaking, linking it to better communication skills for personal and professional growth. Her insights reveal how literature can profoundly influence our understanding of relationships and self-development.

20:40

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ADVICE

The Gift of Fear: Boundary Setting

Read Gavin DeBecker's "The Gift of Fear" for invaluable advice on setting boundaries and vetting people.
This book helps you trust your gut, avoid drama, and improve productivity by recognizing red flags.

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ADVICE

Vetting and References

Thoroughly check references when hiring, even if they seem obvious.
Ask listed references for additional, unprepared contacts ("developed sources") to get more candid insights.

insights

INSIGHT

Understanding Public Speaking Fear

Public speaking fear is often linked to deeper fears, like loss of identity and survival.
By understanding this link, you can decouple the fear of public speaking from existential dread.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Navigating Boundaries and Trusting Instincts in Relationships

03:58 • 4min

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The Critical Importance of Vetting Candidates Thoroughly

08:03 • 2min

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Conquering the Fear of Public Speaking

10:00 • 4min

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The Neurochemistry of Love and Relationship Dynamics

13:45 • 7min

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Getting the Love You Want

A Guide for Couples

Harville Hendrix

Helen LaKelly Hunt

This book, written by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, explains how unconscious childhood experiences influence adult relationships. It suggests that people often choose partners who resemble their caregivers, hoping to resolve unfinished childhood issues. The authors provide a structured approach, including the 'Imago Dialogue,' to help couples communicate effectively, resolve power struggles, and heal early childhood wounds. The book combines behavioral science, depth psychology, social learning theory, Gestalt therapy, and interpersonal neuroscience to enhance closeness and fulfill relationships.

Codependent no more

Melody Beattie

In 'Codependent No More,' Melody Beattie provides a compassionate and insightful look into codependency, the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another. The book helps readers understand that they are powerless to change anyone but themselves and that caring for the self is where healing begins. With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, it offers a clear and achievable path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness. The book is particularly relevant for those who have lost sight of their own lives while tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior.

The Gift of Fear

Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence

Gavin de Becker

In this book, Gavin de Becker argues that every individual should learn to trust their gut instinct when it comes to situations of danger or potential violence. He highlights the predictability of violence by identifying pre-incident indicators (PINS) such as forced teaming, charm and niceness, too many details, typecasting, loan sharking, and the unsolicited promise. De Becker also discusses his MOSAIC Threat Assessment Systems and provides practical advice on how to spot danger signals, handle threatening situations, and manage fear effectively. The book is particularly valuable for women and others who may be at higher risk of violence, offering strategies to enhance situational awareness and personal safety.

Essentialism

The Disciplined Pursuit of Less

Greg McKeown

In 'Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less,' Greg McKeown argues that by applying a more selective criteria for what is essential, individuals can regain control of their time and energy. The book is divided into sections such as Explore, Eliminate, and Execute, providing practical advice on distinguishing the vital few from the trivial many and eliminating non-essential activities. McKeown emphasizes the importance of clarity of focus, the ability to say 'no,' and living 'by design, not by default. ' This approach helps readers achieve more by doing less and making the highest possible contribution in their personal and professional lives.

The Graveyard Book

Neil Gaiman

The Graveyard Book tells the story of Nobody 'Bod' Owens, a young boy who escapes his family's murderer, known as the man Jack, and finds refuge in a graveyard. There, he is adopted and raised by the ghostly residents, Mr. and Mrs. Owens, and protected by the mysterious caretaker Silas. As Bod grows up, he learns supernatural abilities and faces various dangers both within and outside the graveyard. The book follows Bod's adventures and his eventual transition into the world of the living, exploring themes of identity, family, and the intersection of life and death.

The Tao of Seneca

Practical Letters from a Stoic Master

Seneca the Younger (Lucius Annaeus Seneca)

This book is a compilation of Seneca's letters, known as the *Epistulae Morales* (Moral Epistles), which provide practical advice on Stoic principles. It covers topics such as the importance of living in accordance with nature, the dangers of external influences on happiness, the value of self-control, and the pursuit of virtue. Seneca's writings emphasize the need to focus on inner strength, endurance, and the cultivation of a sound mind, rather than seeking happiness through external goods like fame and riches.

Books I've Loved — Whitney Cummings | Brought to you by Audible.

Welcome to another episode of The Tim Ferriss Show, where it is my job to sit down with world-class performers of all different types—from startup founders and investors to chess champions to Olympic athletes. This episode, however, is an experiment and part of a shorter series I’m doing called “Books I’ve Loved.” I’ve invited some amazing past guests, close friends, and new faces to share their favorite books—the books that have influenced them, changed them, and transformed them for the better. I hope you pick up one or two new mentors—in the form of books—from this new series and apply the lessons in your own life.

Whitney Cummings (@whitneycummings) is a Los Angeles-based comedian, actor, writer, and producer. She has appeared in multiple television shows and films, and has performed in stand-up specials for both HBO and Comedy Central, one of which was nominated for an American Comedy Award. You can subscribe to her podcast, Good For You, on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. Whitney is also the author of I'm Fine...And Other Lies, and her most recent comedy special, Can I Touch It?, is now available for streaming on Netflix. For more Whitney, check out our conversation from 2015.

“Books I’ve Loved” on The Tim Ferriss Show is brought to you by Audible! I have used Audible for many years now. I love it. Audible has the largest selection of audiobooks on the planet. I listen when I’m taking walks, I listen while I’m cooking… I listen whenever I can. Audible is offering Tim Ferriss Show listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Just go to Audible.com/tim and browse the unmatched selection of audio programs. Then, download your free title and start listening! It’s that easy. Simply go to Audible.com/tim or text TIM to 500500 to get started today.

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