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Dr. Sunita Sah on How To Say ‘No’

Jan 23, 2025
Dr. Sunita Sah, an organizational psychologist from Cornell and author of 'Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes,' dives into why saying 'no' is such a challenge. She explores societal pressures that encourage compliance over personal autonomy, especially in high-stakes professions. Through personal stories, Sah emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and reframing defiance as an expression of our values. She also discusses the concepts of 'insinuation anxiety' and the need for informed consent in navigating the complexities of assertiveness.
58:41

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Quick takeaways

  • The podcast highlights how social conditioning and childhood experiences create an aversion to saying no, impacting personal and professional interactions.
  • Dr. Sunita Sah emphasizes the importance of reframing defiance as an expression of one's values rather than mere rebellion against authority.

Deep dives

The Challenge of Saying No

Many individuals find it difficult to decline requests or express disagreement due to social conditioning that values compliance over defiance. This inclination towards acquiescence often stems from childhood experiences, where obedience is equated with being 'good.' For instance, Dr. Sunita Sa recalls her upbringing, where she felt the pressure to conform to familial and societal expectations, which contributed to her long-standing struggle with saying no. The podcast highlights the societal and personal cost of incessantly saying yes, emphasizing that this pressure can lead to discomfort and a sense of being muted.

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