Pema Chödrön, Renowned Buddhist Nun, On Her One Non-Negotiable Happiness Strategy
Jan 3, 2024
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Pema Chödrön, a renowned Buddhist nun and best-selling author, shares her wisdom on navigating life’s challenges with compassion and humor. She discusses how to handle difficult people while setting boundaries and maintaining a sense of ok-ness. Pema emphasizes the balance between love and assertiveness in addressing injustice, encouraging listeners to cultivate omnidirectional compassion. With anecdotes and reflections, she illustrates the transformative power of humor in finding growth through our failures and the interconnected nature of self-care and altruism.
Setting boundaries and dealing with difficult people
Maintaining a sense of humor about one's imperfections
Empowering oneself through the radical practice of the Bodhisattva Vow
Deep dives
The Bodhisattva Vow: Putting Others First
The podcast explores the concept of the Bodhisattva Vow, which encourages individuals to prioritize the needs of others ahead of their own. The guest, Pema Chodron, explains that this non-negotiable practice has helped her with setting boundaries, dealing with difficult people, having a sense of humor about her own imperfections, and finding a general sense of okayness in any situation. Despite concerns about becoming a doormat, Pema emphasizes that prioritizing others does not mean sacrificing oneself or allowing others to walk all over you. The practice requires a sense of clarity and perspective, inviting individuals to stay open and listen to others, while also ensuring personal well-being and advocating for one's own interests.
The Transformative Power of the Bodhisattva Vow
The Bodhisattva Vow, as discussed in the podcast, is described as a radical practice that aims to awaken individuals to the importance of benefiting others. By making this commitment, individuals grow in confidence and wisdom, acknowledging their own limitations and finding courage to open their minds and hearts to difficult people and situations. Pema Chodron highlights that this practice is not about repression, but about fully feeling and embracing one's own emotions while remaining present and listening to others. The vow supports individuals in breaking free from old patterns, creating new pathways in the brain, and cultivating compassion and understanding.
The Challenge and Empowerment of the Bodhisattva Vow
The Bodhisattva Vow, while seemingly impossible to fulfill entirely, empowers individuals by inviting them to dedicate their lives to making a positive impact in the world. Pema Chodron emphasizes the importance of having a sense of humor and not taking oneself too seriously when undertaking this challenging practice. She encourages individuals to set intentions throughout the day, feeling what they are experiencing without judgment, and maintaining a friendly and accepting attitude towards themselves and others. This vow fosters personal growth, expands one's capacity for love and understanding, and contributes to the betterment of society as a whole.
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The Power of Compassion in Activism
Compassion and non-retaliation are central to the concept of the Bodhisattva vow, as exemplified by figures like Martin Luther King and Gandhi. This approach emphasizes healing not only oneself, but also the systems and people responsible for oppression and injustice. By seeking to understand and speak to the goodness in others, even in the face of hatred or prejudice, activists can inspire change and cultivate a sense of belonging and respect. This approach challenges conventional methods of aggression and encourages a focus on de-escalating aggression and working towards effective and lasting change through compassion and understanding.
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Chödrön also talks about how to deal with difficult people, set boundaries, and keep a sense of humor in the face of our human foibles and failings.
Pema Chödrön was born Deirdre Blomfield-Brown in New York City. In her mid-thirties, Ani Pema met and studied with Lama Chime Rinpoche, becoming a novice nun in 1974 in London. She received ordination from His Holiness the Sixteenth Karampa during that time. Pema first met her root guru, the teacher with whom she had the most profound connection, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, in 1972, and she studied closely with him until his death in 1987. In 1984, at the behest of Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, Ani Pema moved from Boulder, Colorado to Cape Breton, Nova Scotia to be the director of Gampo Abbey. She currently teaches throughout the United States and Canada and continues her studies and meditative retreat under the guidance of Venerable Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche.
In this episode we talk about:
How to deal with difficult people and set boundaries
Having a sense of humor about our own foibles and failings
Keeping a sense of ok-ness in the face of whatever happens
Why coming from a place of love doesn’t preclude us from getting angry or standing up for what we believe in
Keeping a sense of humor when we’re setting intentions or taking a vow so we don’t set ourselves up for failure
The actual language of the Bodhisattva vow and why admitting how vast and impossible it is to achieve can actually be empowering
Why putting others first doesn’t mean leaving yourself out of the equation
How healing yourself can affect your relationships with other people and create a virtuous circle
Taking a "one person at a time" approach to suffering
