Psychologists Off the Clock
187. Raising a Child with ADHD, with Russell Barkley
Episode guests
Podcast summary created with Snipd AI
Quick takeaways
- Children with ADHD need external rewards and consequences to stay motivated and parents should provide frequent feedback, rewards, and accountability to help them.
- Parents should focus on identifying and celebrating their child's strengths in non-traditional areas to help build confidence and find passion and purpose.
- Instead of trying to mold their child into a specific mold, parents should act as shepherds, providing guidance, support, and acceptance based on understanding and acceptance.
Deep dives
Principle 1: ADHD creates motivation deficit disorder
Children with ADHD lack intrinsic motivation and need external rewards and consequences to stay motivated. This means parents should provide frequent feedback, rewards, and accountability to help their child complete tasks and stay on track.
Principle 2: Recognize and reinforce unique strengths
Parents should identify and celebrate their child's strengths, which are often found in non-traditional areas such as athletics, music, arts, technology, or entrepreneurship. By focusing on their strengths, parents can help their child build confidence and find passion and purpose in their interests.
Principle 3: Embrace the role of the shepherd
Instead of trying to design and mold their child into a specific mold, parents should act as shepherds, providing guidance, support, and acceptance. This means accepting the uniqueness of their child, being open to their aptitudes and interests, and focusing on building a strong parent-child relationship based on understanding and acceptance.
Trusting Your Gut: Recognizing ADHD in Children
Parents, especially moms, have a strong instinct when something isn't right with their child. However, studies have shown that pediatricians often dismiss the mother's concerns. This highlights the importance of trusting your own gut and seeking further evaluation if you sense something is wrong. Feedback from other adults, such as relatives, neighbors, or preschool teachers, can also provide valuable insight. Classic symptoms of ADHD include attention and distractibility issues, hyperactivity, and disinhibited behavior. If these symptoms persist for at least six months and cause problems for the child, they should be taken seriously and evaluated by a professional.
Understanding Medication and Parenting Strategies for ADHD
There is a lot of misinformation and misconceptions surrounding medication for ADHD. It is important to rely on accurate scientific information when making decisions about medication. ADHD medications, particularly stimulants, have a wide safety profile and are not addictive when taken orally as prescribed. Non-stimulant medications also have their own unique benefits and side effects. The long-term data on medication for ADHD is reassuring, with minor and temporary side effects. Parenting a child with ADHD can be challenging, but strategies like providing external motivation, managing time blindness, and offloading working memory onto physical reminders can greatly help both the child and parent. Seeking diagnosis and treatment for parents with ADHD is also essential to create an effective parenting environment.
Parenting is challenging. Some of the challenges—like effective disciplining and present moment awareness—are ubiquitous to parenting. No matter who you or your kids are, moments and experiences will test your patience and your wisdom. But while no parent has it easy, parenting children with special needs, neurodiversity, or mental or physical health issues comes with unique, extraordinarily trying experiences, and big questions to which it can be hard to find reliable answers. In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Yael talks with Dr. Russell Barkley, an international authority on ADHD. Russ is also author of many books, including the bestselling Taking Charge of ADHD and his recently released 12 Principles for Raising a Child with ADHD. Using principles from his books and decades of research, Russ takes on questions Yael collected from friends, family, and peers about parenting children with ADHD. Join us to hear in-depth and reliable answers to our most pressing questions about how to raise neurodiverse children! Listen and Learn: The seven executive functions and how they’re impacted by ADHD Russ’ expert, in-depth answers to your questions about parenting and loving people with ADHD! What ADHD is and why the label can be misleading About some misconceptions parents often have about ADHD How to better parent a child with ADHD How to be compassionate towards yourself and your child as you parent Key differences in behavioral markers of ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) About the long-term data on medication for children How to find, appreciate, and reinforce strengths that show up in neurodiverse children Effective parenting and discipline strategies for children with ADHD Russ’ hopes for his legacy, and the future of ADHD Resources Discussed on this Podcast Episode: Dr. Barkley’s book, 12 Principles for Raising a Child with ADHDFind some of Dr. Barkley’s lectures on his websiteFind other interviews with and lectures by Dr. Barkley on YouTubeEmily Perl Kingsley’s poem, Welcome to HollandJon Kabat Zinn’s book, Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful ParentingAlison Gopnik’s book, The Gardener and the Carpenter About Dr. Russell Barkley: Russell A. Barkley, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized authority on attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD) in children and adults who has dedicated his career to widely disseminating science-based information about ADHD. Dr. Barkley retired as a Professor of Psychiatry and Neurology from the University of Massachusetts Medical Center (1985-2002) and subsequently worked as a Professor of Psychiatry and Health Sciences at the Medical University of South Carolina (2003-2016). He is currently a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Virginia Commonwealth University Medical Center (2016-present). In semi-retirement, he continues to lecture widely and develop continuing education courses for professionals on ADHD and related disorders, as well as consult on research projects, edit The ADHD Report, and write books, reviews, and research articles. Related Podcast Episodes: Episode 14. Mindful ParentingEpisode 48. Practical Wisdom with Dr. Barry SchwartzEpisode 123. Tantrum Survival Guide with Dr. Schrag HershbergEpisode 149. How Not To Lose It with Your Kids with Dr. Carla NaumburgEpisode 161: The Gift of Failure with Jessica Lahey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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