#139 - Kristin Neff, Ph.D.: The power of self-compassion

17 snips

Nov 30, 2020

Kristin Neff, a leading expert on mindful self-compassion and author, discusses her transformative journey from self-judgment to self-acceptance. She reveals how embracing self-compassion can improve mental health, counter self-criticism, and influence parenting, especially with a child diagnosed with autism. Neff emphasizes the importance of self-compassion over self-esteem for building stable self-worth and explores its connection to healing trauma. Listeners will gain actionable strategies for fostering self-compassion in themselves and their children.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Books

Transcript

Episode notes

ANECDOTE

Life Crisis and Turning Point

Kristin Neff's life took an unexpected turn in India, involving a divorce and a new relationship that ended tragically.
This led her to explore mindfulness and self-compassion as tools for coping with the emotional aftermath.

INSIGHT

Discovering Self-Compassion

Kristin Neff's first encounter with self-compassion was through a Thich Nhat Hanh meditation group.
The practice had a profound, immediate impact on her well-being, unlike mindfulness, which took longer to grasp.

ANECDOTE

Peter Attia's Self-Compassion Experiment

Peter Attia, a self-proclaimed "Olympic-level self-critic," experimented with self-compassion by recording messages of support to himself.
This practice significantly reduced the negative impact of daily performance-related self-criticism.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

Kristin Neff is a Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas, author, and a leading expert on mindful self-compassion. In this episode, she shares how developing a self-compassion and mindfulness practice was the most effective tool for relieving her own suffering, and provides strategies and tactics to improve self-compassion and well-being.

We discuss:

The life crisis that turned Kristin to mindfulness and self-compassion (3:30);
How mindful self-compassion relieved Kristin’s feelings of self-judgement, and the psychology that says we all have the capacity for self-compassion (9:45);
Peter’s history of self-criticism and his personal practice of self-compassion (17:15);
The problem with prioritizing self-esteem over self-compassion, and how self-compassion produces a more stable version of self-worth (20:15);
An argument for self-compassion over self-criticism for optimizing performance (26:15);
How and when to introduce self-compassion to children (31:45);
Learning her son had autism—a personal story of how Kristin used mindfulness and self-compassion (36:45);
Self-compassion for cases of childhood trauma, PTSD, and overcoming a “fear of compassion” (44:00);
The relationship between self-compassion and physical health (49:30);
Distinguishing between self-compassion and self-pity, and the three necessary components self-compassion (52:30);
Why self-criticism comes from a desire to be safe, the circular pattern of self-judgment, and self-compassion as the ultimate motivator (55:45);
Potential role of a self-compassion practice for addiction and other maladaptive behaviors (58:45);
Clinical applications and practical uses of self-compassion (1:01:30);
Why you don’t need to meditate to learn mindfulness and self-compassion (1:04:45);
Kristin’s personal meditation practice (1:08:40);
Resources for learning self-compassion (1:11:45); and
More.

Learn more: https://peterattiamd.com/ Show notes page for this episode: https://peterattiamd.com/kristinneff Subscribe to receive exclusive subscriber-only content: https://peterattiamd.com/subscribe/ Sign up to receive Peter's email newsletter: https://peterattiamd.com/newsletter/ Connect with Peter on Facebook | Twitter | Instagram.