Brené with Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman on The Love Prescription, Part 1 of 3
Sep 28, 2022
53:41
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Drs. John and Julie Gottman share their insights on relationship improvement, focusing on intimacy and joy. They discuss the power of turning towards in relationships, missed opportunities, fostering connection through appreciation, and recognizing bids for connection. Their new book offers actionable advice for enhancing relationships in just seven days.
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Quick takeaways
Fostering deeper connection requires consistent small gestures like responding to partner's bids for connection.
Relationships thrive when partners cultivate a culture of appreciation by noticing and reciprocating positive actions.
Deep dives
Introduction to The Love Prescription Book by Dr. John and Julie Gottman
Dr. John and Julie Gottman introduce their new book, The Love Prescription, focusing on how couples can enhance intimacy, connection, and joy in just seven days. They emphasize the impact of recent challenges like COVID and polarization on relationships, highlighting the book's aim to foster deeper connections amidst societal turmoil by starting at home.
Love Defined as a Practice and Action
The Gottmans redefine love as a practice that requires daily action and effort, contrasting it with the initial rush of falling in love. They stress the importance of consistently nurturing relationships like a growing tree, appreciating partners' humanity with both strengths and flaws. Acknowledging and responding to bids for connection play a crucial role in maintaining a healthy relationship, emphasizing habitual practices over lofty ideals.
The Power of Turning Towards and Small Daily Interactions
Turning towards bids for connection emerges as a key relationship hack, leading to increased connection and understanding between partners. Small daily gestures, like acknowledging and responding positively to partner's bids, significantly impact relationship dynamics, promoting humor, reduced arousal during conflicts, and enhanced emotional connection. The Gottmans advocate for building a culture of appreciation by noticing and reciprocating each other's positive actions.
Overcoming Conflict and Prioritizing Positivity
The Gottmans underline the significance of emotional bids, curiosity, fondness, and turning towards each other in nurturing strong relationships. They debunk the myth that conflict resolution is the primary starting point for relationship repair, advocating instead for recognizing and appreciating partners' positive efforts. By focusing on small, daily positive interactions and understanding the impact of bids for connection, couples can cultivate healthier and more resilient relationships.
Think you can’t make relationship changes in a week? Drs. John and Julie Gottman say, yes, actually, you can — and they have 40 years of breakthrough research on marital stability and divorce prediction to prove it. The Gottmans are back, by popular demand, and they’re here to talk about their new book, The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy. In this first of a three-part series, we talk about their work, their findings, and some huge hacks that were mind-blowing for me. This book feels so hopeful because it’s direct, it’s really honest, and it’s so actionable.