Mark Epstein on the Intersection of Buddhism and Psychotherapy

May 1, 2018

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Mark Epstein

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INSIGHT

Ego as Protection and Trap

The ego arises to protect us from early feelings of isolation and aloneness.
Overidentifying with the ego causes suffering by clinging to control and rejecting life's randomness.

ANECDOTE

Talking Death with Father

Mark Epstein shared a personal story about discussing death and impermanence with his terminally ill father.
This conversation inspired his book and shaped his view on realistic acceptance of mortality.

ADVICE

Meditate Like Juggling Balance

Approach meditation like juggling: find a relaxed balance between too much effort and not enough.
Take the "backward step" by resting the mind and body to let meditation flow naturally.

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Mark Epstein is a psychiatrist in private practice in NYC and the author of many books about the intersection of Buddhism and psychotherapy. He's currently the clinical assistant professor in the postdoctoral program in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis at New York University. His most recent book, Advice Not Given; A Guide to Getting Over Yourself is what he talks about in this episode. His wisdom is so incredibly practical, applicable, and helpful. Ideas like whether or not naming your feelings would be a helpful strategy for you and how to work with clinging in its many forms - even the clinging to inner peace - abound in this discussion. Take a listen and enrich your inner life.

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In This Interview, Mark Epstein and I Discuss...

The Wolf Parable
His book, Advice Not Given; A Guide to Getting Over Yourself
The duality that we all struggle with
Freud and the Buddha's nearly identical conclusion
What it means to take personal responsibility for our selfish concerns
The clinging to that which gives us a sense of control over life
The clinging to that which nurtures our ego
The eightfold path of the Buddha
The conversation with his terminally ill father that inspired this book
Right View - being realistic about one's self and the nature of things
How change and death is happening all of the time, moment to moment
Trying not to try as it relates to meditation
"Take the backward step" in meditation
FInding balance in "right effort"
Exploring the feelings that we are otherwise afraid of through psychotherapy
The link between being with uncomfortable feelings and empathy to others
How anything that's happening in the body or mind can be the object of meditation
How useful it is to name a feeling
Making a feeling "intelligible" by naming it
How useful it can be to find where feelings show up in the body
When your mind is not aware of what's making you act this way (in addiction, compulsive behaviors etc) it's important to put the words on the feelings
Whether or not all emotions show up in the body
How clinging takes many forms - even the desire for inner peace
"Don't chase her, let her find you."
That our lives are made dull by our efforts to over control things

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