106 | Transforming Your Inner Critic & Perfectionist through IFS with Chris Burris
May 22, 2022
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Chris Burris, an expert in Internal Family Systems therapy, discusses transforming inner critics and perfectionists into allies through IFS therapy. He shares practical ways to use IFS for daily self-care, emphasizing the importance of compassion and connection in personal growth.
IFS offers tools to shift from fear-led to inspiration-led living.
Transform inner critics and perfectionists into allies with IFS meditation.
Slow and reflective healing journey with IFS promotes self-connection.
Deep dives
Connecting Through Vulnerability and Healing
In her upcoming book, 'Handbook for the Heartbroken,' Sarah Avon Stover shares her journey of serial heartbreaks from 2016 to 2020. She discusses how our culture's approach to loss is dysfunctional and expands the conversation around grief and loss to include various life challenges. Stover emphasizes the importance of facing heartbreak with support, courage, and compassion for healing and growth.
Navigating the Inner Critic and Perfectionism
Stover addresses the inner critic and perfectionism as protective parts that stem from a drive to avoid failure and seek love and acceptance. She encourages understanding and befriending these parts, transitioning them into empowering advisors. By acknowledging and softening towards these critical aspects, individuals can heal deeper wounds and transform self-judgment into self-compassion.
Exploring the Internal Family Systems Model
Stover highlights the effectiveness of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model in providing a framework for unleashing suffering, fostering connection, and enabling recuperation. By accessing self-energy, compassion, connectivity, and calmness, individuals can gradually release protective mechanisms, leading to increased self-understanding, acceptance, and healing.
Slow Is Fast: Embracing the Healing Process
Emphasizing the IFS principle that 'slow is fast,' Stover encourages individuals to journey through healing patiently and reflectively. With the model's gentle and transformative approach, gradual shifts and profound healings can be achieved over time, promoting self-connection, growth, and emotional regulation.
Future Directions: Shadow Work and Moral Injury Healing
Stover delves into his growing edge, focusing on shadow work and moral injury healing. Exploring areas of anti-racism, white privilege, and moral injuries, he aims to support individuals in unearthing and healing the shadow aspects of their beings, fostering compassion, acceptance, and personal growth.
Over the next couple of months, I’m offering a focus on Internal Family Systems (or IFS) here on the podcast.
IFS is a cutting-edge psychotherapeutic model that’s sweeping the world right now– if you haven’t noticed!
More than being a very effective, gentle, and transformative model of therapy (that’s been both life-changing for me and my clients), it’s also a paradigm of living. IFS gives us the tools and framework to shift from living a fear-led life to an inspiration-led life.
This month and next month’s interviews will feature some leaders in the IFS community. Now, as the first of this 2-part series, I’m welcoming Chris Burris, an IFS senior lead trainer.
Chris and I speak about the IFS model at large, and more specifically about how to transform more extreme parts like our inner critics and perfectionists into allies (rather than going to war with them).
Chris also leads us through an IFS meditation to help us get more in touch with the parts of ourselves that are most dominant right now and shares some inspiring and practical ways he uses IFS for daily self-care.
May this conversation be of benefit!
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