Fixable How to say no (from WorkLife with Adam Grant)
28 snips
May 26, 2025 
Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at Wharton, joins Vanessa Bonds, a Cornell professor who studies influence, and Sherry Liu, founder of the Eldest Daughter Club, for a captivating discussion on the art of saying no. They tackle the societal pressures that compel us to please others, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries for personal well-being. With personal anecdotes and research insights, they reveal how delivering polite refusals can strengthen relationships and boost self-respect, ultimately helping to create healthier connections both personally and professionally.
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The Tragic Giving Tree Anecdote
- The Giving Tree story highlights an extreme people-pleasing relationship where the tree sacrifices everything for the boy.
- The story ends sadly with the tree as a stump, illustrating a toxic dynamic rather than love.
Root of People-Pleasing
- People-pleasing behaviors stem from craving approval, not just concern for others.
- This reliance on external validation leads to emotional exhaustion and one-sided relationships.
Acquaintance Trap Explained
- We feel most pressure to say yes to acquaintances due to relationship uncertainty.
- Saying no to close friends or strangers feels easier than to acquaintances, a trap called the acquaintance trap.
