Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

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Eps 215: The Power of Showing up With Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Bryson

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Jan 7, 2020

Dr. Dan Siegel, an acclaimed child psychiatrist and author, and Dr. Tina Bryson, a pediatric psychotherapist and co-author, explore the critical role of parental presence in shaping children's development. They discuss the importance of secure attachment, emphasizing the power of repair in parenting. The guests introduce the concept of 'Me + We' identity, illustrating how understanding one’s own past can improve parenting. With practical stories, they highlight that presence is more vital than perfection for nurturing resilience and emotional health in kids.

01:09:39

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INSIGHT

Attachment Shapes Brain And Identity

Attachment science shows caregivers shape children's regulation, identity, and expectations through relationships across cultures.
Dan Siegel and Tina Bryson wrote the book to translate that science into practical parenting presence.

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ADVICE

Prioritize Presence Over Perfect Parenting

Show up by being present, emotionally attuned, and focused on your child's inner life rather than only their behavior.
Aim to be aware, regulated, and receptive so your child feels understood and loved.

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ADVICE

Repair Is The Parenting Compass

Accept ruptures as inevitable and practice repair quickly and kindly when disconnection happens.
Use repair as your parenting compass instead of self-criticism; repairs build resilience.

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Repair Is Always Possible

03:03 • 28sec

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Welcome and Guest Bios

03:31 • 5min

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Why Write The Power of Showing Up?

08:47 • 3min

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What Attachment Science Means

11:35 • 7min

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Parenting Is Personal Development

Presence Over Perfection

27:46 • 12min

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What Showing Up Looks Like in Practice

39:23 • 7min

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Expanding Your Internal Container

Widening the Window of Tolerance

53:51 • 5min

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Making Sense of Generational Patterns

59:03 • 2min

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Paths of Hope from Attachment Science

01:01:09 • 2min

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Embrace Uncertainty and 'Me + We' Identity

01:03:04 • 8min

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Book Release and Resources

• Mentioned in 4 episodes

The Power of Showing Up

How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired

Tina Payne Bryson

Daniel Siegel

This book emphasizes the critical role of parental presence in a child's development, highlighting the concept of the Four S’s: Safe, Seen, Soothed, and Secure. It provides practical strategies, stories, and tips for parents to create a secure attachment environment, which is crucial for a child's emotional regulation, happiness, academic success, and future relationships. The authors reassure parents that showing up does not require a lot of time or money but rather a quality of presence that can be achieved in everyday interactions.

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• Mentioned in 7 episodes

The Developing Mind

How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are

Daniel Siegel

This influential book synthesizes research from multiple disciplines to explain how neural processes are shaped by interpersonal relationships throughout life. It provides insights into promoting healthy development and resilience, even when early experiences are not optimal. The third edition incorporates recent research findings and refines core hypotheses of interpersonal neurobiology.

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• Mentioned in 14 episodes

No-Drama Discipline

Tina Payne Bryson

Daniel J. Siegel

In this book, Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson provide an effective and compassionate approach to discipline, focusing on the link between a child’s neurological development and parental reactions to misbehavior. The authors offer strategies to connect with children, redirect emotions, and turn meltdowns into opportunities for growth. Key principles include the 'No-Drama Connection' cycle, which involves communicating comfort, validating feelings, and reflecting what the child has expressed. The book also emphasizes the importance of empathy, insight, and repair in the discipline process.

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• Mentioned in 2 episodes

Aware

The Science and Practice of Presence

Dan Siegel

Dr. Dan Siegel's "Aware" explores the nature of the mind and offers practical techniques for cultivating mindfulness and self-awareness. The book introduces the "Wheel of Awareness," a framework for understanding and integrating different aspects of experience, including sensory input, bodily sensations, thoughts, emotions, and interpersonal connections. Siegel's work emphasizes the importance of integrating these elements for greater well-being and emotional regulation. The book is accessible to both beginners and experienced practitioners, providing a clear and concise guide to mindfulness practices. It's a valuable resource for anyone seeking to deepen their understanding of themselves and their relationship with the world.

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• Mentioned in 2 episodes

Mothers and Others

Sarah Hrdy

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• Mentioned in 2 episodes

The baby book

Kenward Elmslie

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• Mentioned in 11 episodes

Parenting from the Inside Out

How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive

Daniel Siegel

Mary Hartzell, M.Ed.

In this book, child psychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel and early childhood expert Mary Hartzell delve into how our childhood experiences influence our parenting. Drawing on new findings in neurobiology and attachment research, they explain how interpersonal relationships impact brain development and offer a step-by-step approach for parents to understand their own life stories. This understanding helps parents raise compassionate and resilient children. The book is based on a series of parents' workshops and includes exercises for self-reflection and journaling, as well as sections on neuroscience research to support the recommendations.

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• Mentioned in 4 episodes

The Yes Brain

Dan Siegel

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• Mentioned in 32 episodes

The Whole-Brain Child

12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind

Tina Payne Bryson

Daniel J. Siegel

This book offers 12 revolutionary strategies to help parents nurture their child's developing mind. It introduces the concepts of the 'upstairs brain' (higher-order cognitive functions) and the 'downstairs brain' (more primal emotional responses), emphasizing the importance of integrating these two brain regions for self-regulation and wise decision-making. The authors provide age-appropriate strategies to deal with day-to-day struggles, help children integrate their memories, and build positive, nurturing relationships. The book also highlights the value of viewing mistakes as opportunities for growth and teaching important skills through everyday parenting challenges.

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• Mentioned in 5 episodes

Brainstorm

Daniel J. Siegel

Today’s guests are Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Bryson. Dan is an internationally acclaimed author, award winning educator and child psychiatrist. He is currently a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, where he also serves as a co investigator at the Center For Culture, Brain And Development, and co director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center. Dan co authored some of our favorite parenting books, including The Whole Brain Child, No Drama Discipline, and The Yes Brain. With the other guest joining us today, he also wrote Brainstorm: The Bible for Parents of Teens, Parenting From The Inside Out and Aware, which came out the summer of 2018 and he came on to discuss that book with me.

Dr. Tina Bryson is the other guest that we get to hear from today. She is the co author with Dan Segal of three New York Times bestsellers soon to be four and is the Executive Director of the Center for Connection in Pasadena, California. Tina is also a pediatric and adolescent, psychotherapist, she keynotes conferences, and conducts workshops for parents, educators and clinicians all over the world. There is so much more I could add to the bios of both of these guests I could truly go on and on. They're here today to share about their latest book, The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become, and How Their Brains get Wired. Join us!

Resources:

The Whole Brain Child

No Drama Discipline

The Yes Brain

The Baby Book

Eps 154: Dr. Dan Siegel Discussing the Science of Being Present

The Power of Showing Up

Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence

Eps 100: Dr. Tina Bryson Supports Us With Brain Informed Parenting

Eps 126: Tina Bryson is BACK teaching us about nurturing a YES BRAIN

Brainstorm

Parenting From The Inside Out

Where to find Dr. Siegel and Dr. Bryson:

Dr. Tina Bryson

Dr. Dan Siegel

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