

Proxy with Yowei Shaw
Y3 Productions
It’s the knot you can’t untangle - a problem so unique, it makes you feel alone. But what if you could talk to someone who gets it? On Proxy, we find just the person you were looking for, the person who can help you get a little less stuck. It’s not therapy - it’s emotional investigative journalism™️. Yowei Shaw, former host of Invisibilia, at your service. New cases every other Tuesday. ----------Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com
Episodes
Mentioned books

May 6, 2025 • 48min
Mic Chooses the Wrong Life
The case of Mic, who feels like he defied his fate and now has no purpose in life. We find someone uniquely able to help him break out of his regret loop. From the episode:
Follow Mic Nguyen on Instagram @nicepantsbro and subscribe to his podcast Asian Not Asian
Read Amy Summerville's paper, one of the most cited articles on regret
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

Apr 22, 2025 • 53min
Bisexual Wife Guy
The case of George, the bisexual wife guy who got dumped. In this episode, we find a proxy to stand in for a listener's ex - another queer woman who left her straight relationship. From the episode:
Listen to Hanna’s podcasts Radio Atlantic and Chutzpod!
Follow her on X @hannarosin and Instagram @hannarosin
Our Path, a listener-recommended support group for for straight partners of LGBTQ+ folks
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

Mar 19, 2025 • 18min
The Utility of Self-Delusion (and Big Show Update)
Yowei shares exciting show news and goes on a self-delusion bender with the team at Proxy HQ. Is she being delusional? Or is delusion just necessary for starting any new project?From the episode:
Useful Delusions: The Power & Paradox of the Self-Deceiving Brain, by Shankar Vedantam
Radiotopia from PRX
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

Dec 3, 2024 • 52min
The Group That Gets It
The story of someone who suffered alone in secret for 8 years with a problem he was too afraid to Google - and then he stumbled into a support group. In this episode, we dive into the emotional dynamics of support groups with Jason Yu. Why did support groups help him, when nothing else did? From the episode:
Listen to Jason Yu's podcast Fidget
Follow Fidget on Instagram @fidgetpodcast
The TLC Foundation, an organization for body-focused repetitive behaviors
Jason's book recs for learning how to build community: The Art of Gathering and How We Show Up
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

Oct 29, 2024 • 42min
Is there anything we can actually do about polarization?
Whoever wins the election, Americans will still want to rip each other's heads off. Social psychologist Jay Van Bavel helps us understand why we should care about polarization, how we got here, and what, if anything, we can do about it. From the episode:
Jay Van Bavel's book The Power of Us: Harnessing Our Shared Identities to Improve Performance, Increase Cooperation, and Promote Social Harmony
The paper on political sectarianism Jay co-wrote
Find out more about Jay Van Bavel and his work
Follow Jay on X and Instagram: @jayvanbavel
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

Sep 26, 2024 • 24min
So many tears but what do they say?
We all know that moment - when you feel like you need to cry in front of other people, but don't want to cry. In this episode, Yowei talks to Heather Christle, the author of The Crying Book, to parse what’s happening in that moment, what tears are saying and how we should respond to them. From the episode:
Heather Christle's The Crying Book
Heather's new book In the Rhododendrums: A Memoir with Appearances by Virginia Wolf
Follow Heather on X and Instagram@heatherchristle
The Thai Life Insurance commercial from our crying experiment
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

Sep 5, 2024 • 8min
Did we make our goal???
Finally, a campaign reveal. Did we get additional funding to hire Kim for more hours? Plus, some updates for what’s in store for Proxy. Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

Aug 21, 2024 • 24min
The Mechanics and Magic of Ritual
The final installment of Yowei's quest to solve the mystery of proxy converations. In this episode, Yowei talks to a ritual expert and tries explaining what she's learned about proxy conversations to her mom. From the episode:
Michael Norton's book The Ritual Effect: From Habit to Ritual, Harnessing the Surprising Power of Everyday Actions
Find out more about Michael and his work
Yowei's unhinged grieving ritual for her layoff
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

14 snips
Aug 15, 2024 • 40min
Psychodrama: The 2nd Oldest Psychotherapy You've Never Heard Of, But Have Definitely Tried
Part 3 of Yowei's extremely meta quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. In this episode, Yowei learns about psychodrama, a psychotherapy that has similarities to proxy conversations and used to be a dominant modality in the U.S. and then died. Dr. Scott Giacomucci breaks down the mechanics of proxy conversations and tries his psychodrama techniques on Yowei. From the episode:
Find out more about Dr. Scott Giacomucci and his work
The Phoenix Center for Experiential Trauma Therapy
Download Scott's textbook about psychodrama for free
Follow Scott on YouTube
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

Aug 6, 2024 • 37min
Connor Ratliff's Dead Eyes
Part 2 of Yowei's quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. Why do they work? How? Can Yowei figure out how to explain the show to people who don't get it? In this episode, Yowei gets advice from actor, comedian, and proxy conversation expert Connor Ratliff. Over 20 years ago, Tom Hanks fired Connor from a small role in the HBO mini-series Band of Brothers - apparently for having "dead eyes." But is that really what happened? Connor made a podcast to investigate, and had 30 episodes worth of proxy conversations before talking to Tom Hanks himself. From the episode:
Follow Connor Ratliff on Instagram @connorratliff
Listen to Connor Ratliff's podcasts: Dead Eyes, Tiny Dinos, and The George Lucas Show
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com


