Bare Marriage

Holly Berkley Fletcher, a historian and former CIA analyst, shares insights from her book *Missionary Kids*, revealing the complex lives of missionary kids in evangelical contexts. They discuss how these kids act as a 'window' into the issues of white evangelicalism and race. Holly highlights their struggles with identity and grief, compounded by unrealistic expectations of their parents as 'saints.' The conversation uncovers how purity culture impacts MKs, especially girls, and calls for empowering local leaders in positive missions.

Send us a textHappy American Thanksgiving! We're rerunning one of my favorite episodes from four years ago where Rebecca and I talk about what God is actually like—spoiler: He laughs and takes joy in life, not just suffers on the cross. We also dive into why our Great Sex Rescue research matters and address all those critiques about our methodology (and yes, we're now peer-reviewed, so that critique doesn't really work anymore). Plus, we tackle that awful Missouri pastor story about "trophy wives" and explain why harmful marriage advice is like thalidomide—it might help some people, but that doesn't mean it's not causing serious damage to others.THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSOROrder Dorothy Greco's book For the Love of Women! Learn why it can feel so difficult to be female in our society, and what we can do about it.TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko FoundationJoin our email list!LINKS MENTIONED: Check out The Great Sex Rescue!Gretchen Baskerville's book The Life Saving DivorceCheck out our new YouTube channel, with our five short videos you can share on key topics we keep returning to time and time again!Our peer reviewed article in Sociology of ReligionA longer article I wrote on the Thalidomide analogySupport the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

The hosts unravel the euphemisms behind complementarianism, revealing its hierarchical implications instead of genuine role differences. They argue that claims of equal value for women but functional subordination contribute to relationship struggles. Highlighting how concepts like 'servant leadership' can enable abuse, they stress that this dynamic often masks authority rather than fostering partnership. The discussion includes critiques of prominent figures and emphasizes that egalitarian practices lead to healthier marriages.

Joining the discussion are Dr. Merry Lin, an insightful author and commentator on marriage and gender dynamics, Sarah McDugal, an advocate for women healing from betrayal trauma, and Joanna Sawatsky, a critique of Christian fiction's roles and narratives. They dissect the troubling messages in Francine Rivers' 'And the Shofar Blew,' highlighting how the book encourages abuse victims to endure suffering and propagates harmful gender roles. The panel also explores how fictional narratives shape women's perceptions of faith, marriage, and their worth, often reinforcing toxic dynamics instead of promoting justice.

Join Sarah McDugal, a betrayal trauma recovery expert, Merry Lin, a clinical psychologist and author, and Joanna Sawatsky, a contributor to Great Sex Rescue, as they dive into Francine Rivers' "And the Shofar Blew." They discuss how fiction shapes our understanding of marriage and the hidden theological messages it conveys. The guest share insights about problematic narratives, the normalization of unhealthy dynamics, and the unrealistic expectations placed on women regarding forgiveness. Their thoughtful critique sheds light on the broader implications of Christian romance fiction.

Dorothy Littell Greco, a journalist and author, dives deep into the pervasive nature of misogyny in her insightful discussion. She highlights how institutions like healthcare and the church continue to privilege men, often at women's expense. They tackle tough topics, like the dangerous link between male entitlement and sexual violence, and how everyday design fails to consider women. Greco also emphasizes the critical need for women in leadership and the importance of addressing systemic issues within Christian teachings and society for real change.

Dive into the world of euphemisms in Christian marriage literature and their unsettling implications. The hosts dissect terms like 'Mr. Happy' and 'give him a gift,' revealing their disturbing contexts. They explore how vague language often prioritizes men's needs over women's well-being, and highlight euphemisms that obscure serious issues like sexual assault. Disturbingly, they expose how this language normalizes boundary violations and manipulates consent, all while urging readers to decode these phrases for a clearer, healthier understanding of relationships.

Send us a textWe're celebrating episode 300 with a "Best of Becca" compilation! Rebecca and I react to her most memorable moments from the past six years of podcasting—from rabid raccoons to pooping in the shower to Gerald not being able to slay dragons. We also reflect on how the evangelical landscape has shifted since we started, why we're no longer in "please speak up" mode but in "shake the dust off your feet" territory, and how our focus has evolved from "fix the church" to "help people take radical accountability for their own health and wellbeing.”ALL NEW Marriage You Want Video Series:The complete Marriage You Want curriculum, with the paperback, study guide, and now small group video series! UPCOMING EVENTS:October 25th: Join Keith and Sheila marriage conference in Oshawa, Ontario TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko FoundationJoin our email list!TOP 5 PODCASTS OF AL TIME:The Problems with Power of a Praying Wife featuring Sarah McDugal & Gretchen BaskervilleThe Problems with Every Young Man's Battle featuring Andrew Bauman & Zachary WagnerGroomed for an Abusive Marriage: Alyssa Wakefield's StoryHow the Authors We Critiqued Responded to The Great Sex RescueThe Uncomfortable Truth about Waiting for Marriage for SexSHEILA'S FAVOURITE PODCASTS:The All About Obligation Sex PodcastThe Myth of the Magic PenisSupport the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us a textDoes God really tell women they need to submit to abuse and stay in marriages where they're being raped and harmed? Today's interview with Dr. Helen Painter is one you need to hear—whether you're stuck in an abusive marriage getting horrible advice from your pastor, or you know someone who is. We're diving deep into what the Bible actually says about abuse and divorce, and spoiler alert: God does NOT require women to stay in abusive marriages. Please share this episode with anyone who needs to hear this life-saving truth.CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains detailed discussion of marital rape, sexual abuse, and domestic violenceHELEN PAYNTER'S BOOK:"The Bible Doesn't Tell Me So", from Helen's organization or from Amazon UPCOMING EVENTS:October 25th: Join Keith and Sheila marriage conference in Oshawa, Ontario (near Toronto!)TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko FoundationJoin our email list!LINKS MENTIONED:Naghmeh Panahi's Facebook PostThe original recording of the Calvary Chapel pastor (at around 59:35)The Center for the Study of Bible and Violence: Mentioned Scholar: David Instone-Brewer (rabbinical thought on divorce)Support the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Joash Thomas, an author and deacon in discernment for priesthood, discusses his book, The Justice of Jesus. He explores how colonialism distorted Western Christianity's understanding of justice, emphasizing that following Jesus requires a holistic approach to justice. The conversation delves into disturbing studies linking purity culture to misconceptions about consent and the harmful effects of male porn use on relationships, especially among religious women. Joash challenges mainstream views on justice, advocating for healing and communal support over punishment.