Bare Marriage

Dive into the world of euphemisms in Christian marriage literature and their unsettling implications. The hosts dissect terms like 'Mr. Happy' and 'give him a gift,' revealing their disturbing contexts. They explore how vague language often prioritizes men's needs over women's well-being, and highlight euphemisms that obscure serious issues like sexual assault. Disturbingly, they expose how this language normalizes boundary violations and manipulates consent, all while urging readers to decode these phrases for a clearer, healthier understanding of relationships.

Send us a textWe're celebrating episode 300 with a "Best of Becca" compilation! Rebecca and I react to her most memorable moments from the past six years of podcasting—from rabid raccoons to pooping in the shower to Gerald not being able to slay dragons. We also reflect on how the evangelical landscape has shifted since we started, why we're no longer in "please speak up" mode but in "shake the dust off your feet" territory, and how our focus has evolved from "fix the church" to "help people take radical accountability for their own health and wellbeing.”ALL NEW Marriage You Want Video Series:The complete Marriage You Want curriculum, with the paperback, study guide, and now small group video series! UPCOMING EVENTS:October 25th: Join Keith and Sheila marriage conference in Oshawa, Ontario TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko FoundationJoin our email list!TOP 5 PODCASTS OF AL TIME:The Problems with Power of a Praying Wife featuring Sarah McDugal & Gretchen BaskervilleThe Problems with Every Young Man's Battle featuring Andrew Bauman & Zachary WagnerGroomed for an Abusive Marriage: Alyssa Wakefield's StoryHow the Authors We Critiqued Responded to The Great Sex RescueThe Uncomfortable Truth about Waiting for Marriage for SexSHEILA'S FAVOURITE PODCASTS:The All About Obligation Sex PodcastThe Myth of the Magic PenisSupport the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us a textDoes God really tell women they need to submit to abuse and stay in marriages where they're being raped and harmed? Today's interview with Dr. Helen Painter is one you need to hear—whether you're stuck in an abusive marriage getting horrible advice from your pastor, or you know someone who is. We're diving deep into what the Bible actually says about abuse and divorce, and spoiler alert: God does NOT require women to stay in abusive marriages. Please share this episode with anyone who needs to hear this life-saving truth.CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains detailed discussion of marital rape, sexual abuse, and domestic violenceHELEN PAYNTER'S BOOK:"The Bible Doesn't Tell Me So", from Helen's organization or from Amazon UPCOMING EVENTS:October 25th: Join Keith and Sheila marriage conference in Oshawa, Ontario (near Toronto!)TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko FoundationJoin our email list!LINKS MENTIONED:Naghmeh Panahi's Facebook PostThe original recording of the Calvary Chapel pastor (at around 59:35)The Center for the Study of Bible and Violence: Mentioned Scholar: David Instone-Brewer (rabbinical thought on divorce)Support the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Joash Thomas, an author and deacon in discernment for priesthood, discusses his book, The Justice of Jesus. He explores how colonialism distorted Western Christianity's understanding of justice, emphasizing that following Jesus requires a holistic approach to justice. The conversation delves into disturbing studies linking purity culture to misconceptions about consent and the harmful effects of male porn use on relationships, especially among religious women. Joash challenges mainstream views on justice, advocating for healing and communal support over punishment.

Marissa Burt and Kelsey Kramer McGinnis, authors of The Myth of Good Christian Parenting, shed light on the troubling history of Christian parenting advice. They discuss how the industry, rooted in figures like James Dobson, promotes harmful practices like spanking as a disciplinary norm. The duo critiques the hazardous language surrounding parenting and the implications of authoritarian teachings on child development. They also explore healthier, research-backed discipline methods and the cultural consequences of conventional Christian parenting beliefs.

In this enlightening chat, Keith, a regular contributor and expert on marital dynamics, joins to explore how parenting can inadvertently create sexual hang-ups in kids. They discuss the dangers of oversharing parental sex lives, the complexities of talking about teenage sexual development, and why shame-centered approaches to topics like pornography can backfire. Keith also challenges the misconception that more sex equals a happier marriage, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect and healthy communication in relationships.

Send us a textWe're constantly told that more sex will fix our marriages, but the research tells a completely different story. When couples are simply told to increase frequency without addressing quality, satisfaction, and women's actual experiences, it often backfires and decreases desire altogether. The real predictor of marital happiness isn't how often you're having sex—it's whether that sex is mutually satisfying, intimate, and pleasurable for both people. Unfortunately, evangelical sex advice keeps pushing obligation sex messages that treat women's exhaustion and needs as obstacles to overcome rather than valid concerns. It's time we start asking better questions about what makes sex actually good instead of just demanding more of it.OUR SPONSOR:Check out the book Better Ways to Read the Bible--to transform the way you see Scripture, and let it come alive again if it's been used as a weapon against you.TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKS MENTIONED:The Orgasm Course Psychology Today article on sexual frequency and happinessFocus on the Family State of Marriage in America surveyThe Whole Story puberty course for kids (coupon code: PODCAST)Our reel about the 24 hour ruleSupport the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us a textI brought together three dear friends to have an honest conversation about perimenopause and menopause because so many of you have been asking about it. We shared our real stories and talked about the challenges like brain fog, weight changes, and sexual adjustments, and my dry eyes that nearly drove me crazy! But here's what I want you to know: menopause isn't just about suffering through symptoms. Each of us found our voices during menopause, finally standing up in toxic relationships and getting angry about toxic teachings we’d tolerated for years.  OUR SPONSOR:Check out the book Better Ways to Read the Bible--to transform the way you see Scripture, and let it come alive again if it's been used as a weapon against you.TO SUPPORT US: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKS MENTIONED:The Orgasm Course Merry Lin's book RebecomingMerry Lin's LinkTreeMerry's Bare Marriage podcast episode with meKelita Haverland's song The Strong One Rosemary Flaaten's program at The Center for Healthy RelationshipsThe We Do Not Care Club video Support the showJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Zach Lambert, lead pastor and founder of Restore Austin, shares insights from his book to help those feeling lost in their relationship with the Bible. He discusses how scripture can transform from a source of shame to one of healing. Lambert also advocates for compassionate interpretations, particularly regarding women's experiences in faith. The conversation addresses the need for trauma-informed approaches and critiques rigid biblical inerrancy, emphasizing love and empowerment over legalism.

Blake Roberts and Jamie Haig, therapists and co-hosts of the 3% podcast, dive into the complexities of healthy marriage and sexuality. They tackle common misconceptions about masculinity and relationship dynamics, advocating for open communication and vulnerability. The discussion highlights the emotional load shouldered by women and the impact of shared responsibilities on marital satisfaction. They also critique traditional views within the evangelical context, pushing for healthier narratives around intimacy and partnership.