Dear Sugars

An exploration of dark sexual fantasies reveals inner turmoil and shame surrounding unconventional desires. A woman grapples with her attraction to individuals with disabilities, prompting discussions on societal perceptions and sexual identity. Anxiety is tied to fantasy as a coping mechanism, linking personal trauma to sexual expression. The importance of emotional safety and communication is highlighted, alongside insights for fostering healthier sexual experiences. Light-hearted anecdotes encourage audience engagement, emphasizing the universality of complex sexual preferences.

Dr. Ian Kerner, a psychotherapist and sexuality counselor, joins the conversation to explore the realm of taboo sexual fantasies. He helps a listener, "Fed Up With Fantasy," grappling with intense and shameful thoughts. They discuss how dark fantasies can reveal hidden aspects of identity and the complexities of sharing them in relationships. The importance of open communication is emphasized, along with strategies to enhance intimacy. Dr. Kerner also highlights the role of therapy in managing guilt and anxiety surrounding these fantasies.

In this engaging discussion, writer Meghan Daum shares her insights on the tricky subject of intervening in loved ones' lives. The topic dives into the emotional challenges and ethical dilemmas involved in such decisions. Stories abound, from navigating allegations of inappropriate behavior to the delicate balance of empathy and autonomy in friendships. Daum emphasizes the importance of open communication and timing, all while highlighting personal anecdotes that illustrate the complexities of human relationships.

his episode was originally released on August 25th, 2018. “Dear Sugars, I’m a serial codependent. I’ve married and had children with two addicts,” begins a letter signed by “Mommy Messed Up.” Over the years, her second husband began to withdraw and stash money inside of old bottles. Now Mommy Messed Up is ready to end their toxic relationship. The only problem is she’ll have to disrupt her children’s lives for a second time. “I’m fine with breaking my own heart,” she writes. “But how do I break my boys’ hearts?” In this second part of our series on moving on, the Sugars discuss how we can release ourselves from our past mistakes. Dr. Harriet Lerner drops in to answer a second letter from a woman who is haunted by her abortion, a decision she laments now that she’s experiencing early menopause. Like Mommy Messed Up, she is ruled by her regret. “We have to beware of the stories that we tell about ourselves because we become them,” Dr. Lerner advises. “And a story like the one she’s constructed is so narrow and fixed that it’s going to edge out all other stories about her past and her present and her future possibilities.” Dr. Lerner is a leading voice on the psychology of women and family relationships. She’s the author of 12 books including The New York Times best seller “The Dance of Anger” and most recently, “Why Won’t You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts.”https://www.harrietlerner.com/interviews-articles

This conversation features Claire Bidwell Smith, a licensed therapist specializing in grief and an author renowned for her insights on loss. They tackle poignant letters from individuals wrestling with guilt after losing loved ones, including a childhood friend's suicide and a mother's death. Claire discusses the intricate emotions surrounding grief and guilt, emphasizing the importance of confronting these feelings. Personal anecdotes illuminate the balance between cherishing memories and accepting loss, offering a compassionate guide through the healing journey.

This episode was originally published on August 26th, 2017. In this episode, adventures in animal ownership! The Sugars, along with Julie Barton — author of the memoir Dog Medicine: How My Dog Saved Me From Myself — answer letters about pet dilemmas and the ways these creatures affect human relationships.

Authors Mitchell S. Jackson and Rebecca Skloot discuss personal reckoning and transformations. Topics include complex friendship dynamics, betrayal, animal research, loneliness, and love in dark times. Reflect on pivotal moments leading to growth and self-discovery.

In this episode, the Sugars tackle relationship dilemmas such as differing faith backgrounds, interracial relationships, and discussing race issues. They explore the complexities of love amidst challenges like terminal illness, stressing the importance of open communication and addressing core relationship issues.

This episode was originally published on August 12th, 2016. The Sugars hear the latest from "Head or the Heart" -- a woman who'd fallen head over heels for a man with a troubled childhood. Everything seemed perfect, and yet, she couldn't help but wonder if the traumas of her love's past would surface at some point in their relationship. "Head or the Heart" became the first letter-writer ever to join the Sugars on the show. The Sugars asked her to write to them in six months to let them know how -- and if -- things were going with her boyfriend. Nine months letter, she sent an update. So, are they still together? Have any of his past traumas manifested in their relationship? The Sugars find out.

Writer Ashley C. Ford joins the Sugars to discuss how couples navigate discussions about body weight in relationships. They explore the impact of societal standards on self-worth, evolving attraction, and the importance of open communication in fostering healthy relationships.