Dear Sugars

This episode was originally released on May 25th, 2018. When two women in their sixties start losing interest in sex, their sex-starved partners become increasingly frustrated. Both women blame old age for their waning libidos. But is their diminished sex drive because of age or something else? The erotic lives of senior citizens are typically made invisible by our culture, which can lead to confusion and misinformation. Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the love and relationship columnist for AARP, joins the Sugars to dispel certain myths about sex and aging: Do libidos change after menopause? How does the aging body affect the way we feel about sex? Should medical interventions be considered for a declining sex drive? Dr. Schwartz is a professor of sociology at the University of Washington and has written more than 25 books on love and sexuality. She’s also an on-air expert for Lifetime TV’s “Married at First Sight.” The Sugars Recommend “Our Souls at Night,” by Kent Haruf “Scary Old Sex,” by Arlene Heyman

This episode was originally released on July 21st, 2018. When it comes to love, money is supposed to be no object. But there’s no disentangling love from anything in our lives, and income is no exception. So how do you assess the role money should play in a relationship, and what happens when your desires and means change over time? In this episode, five letter writers want to know how to discuss money with their romantic and familial partners. How do I stop resenting my husband for his low income? How do I ask my stay-at-home wife to get a job? Should I feel obligated to share the wealth with my fiscally irresponsible parents? The Sugars answer these questions and more in rapid-fire style.

Heather Hart, a courageous letter writer seeking advice on a budding romance, joins the discussion. She reflects on her whirlwind love story and the deep bond formed in just a month. The hosts explore how her partner's traumatic past creates both excitement and fear. Listeners gain insights into navigating love that intertwines intensity with vulnerability, emphasizing the importance of communication and understanding. It's a heartfelt exploration of how love can thrive despite challenging histories.

A mother spills a childhood secret to her daughter and grapples with regret. Family vacations spark debates on boundaries when in-laws treat them like free childcare. A listener faces the awkwardness of a friend's marital request. The complexities of grief in families reveal feelings of resentment and the need for authentic connections. Finally, heartwarming stories of love illustrate the dance of mutual admiration and humor in relationships.

This engaging discussion dives into the intricate relationship between love and financial stress. Listeners share their concerns about hidden debts and the importance of transparency in partnerships. The emotional toll of handling a spouse's mental health challenges amidst financial strain is explored with sensitivity. Aspirations clash with societal pressures in mid-thirties careers, while family dynamics complicate financial responsibilities. Overall, it's a candid look at navigating love when money issues come into play.

This episode was originally released September 23rd, 2016. The Sugars often discuss letters dealing with very specific problems or struggles. In this encore episode, they take on a broader, more existential question: how to follow your heart. The Sugars discuss with the GRAMMY-winning singer/songwriter India Arie, who shares how she learned to be her own guide.

Joining the conversation are Mitchell S. Jackson, a celebrated author known for his powerful storytelling, and Rebecca Skloot, acclaimed for her groundbreaking work on ethical science. They delve into personal reckoning, sharing transformative stories that highlight the importance of introspection and support systems. Betrayal and forgiveness take center stage, exploring the complexities of relationships. Skloot also connects personal narratives to ethical science, urging listeners to confront their truths and engage in active citizenship.

An exploration of dark sexual fantasies reveals inner turmoil and shame surrounding unconventional desires. A woman grapples with her attraction to individuals with disabilities, prompting discussions on societal perceptions and sexual identity. Anxiety is tied to fantasy as a coping mechanism, linking personal trauma to sexual expression. The importance of emotional safety and communication is highlighted, alongside insights for fostering healthier sexual experiences. Light-hearted anecdotes encourage audience engagement, emphasizing the universality of complex sexual preferences.

Dr. Ian Kerner, a psychotherapist and sexuality counselor, joins the conversation to explore the realm of taboo sexual fantasies. He helps a listener, "Fed Up With Fantasy," grappling with intense and shameful thoughts. They discuss how dark fantasies can reveal hidden aspects of identity and the complexities of sharing them in relationships. The importance of open communication is emphasized, along with strategies to enhance intimacy. Dr. Kerner also highlights the role of therapy in managing guilt and anxiety surrounding these fantasies.

In this engaging discussion, writer Meghan Daum shares her insights on the tricky subject of intervening in loved ones' lives. The topic dives into the emotional challenges and ethical dilemmas involved in such decisions. Stories abound, from navigating allegations of inappropriate behavior to the delicate balance of empathy and autonomy in friendships. Daum emphasizes the importance of open communication and timing, all while highlighting personal anecdotes that illustrate the complexities of human relationships.