back from the borderline

In this episode, we explore the topic of existential dread, death anxiety, spirituality, and religious trauma, and offer strategies for coping with these challenging experiences. You'll join my dog Cody and me for a walk as we discuss insights on how to find meaning and purpose in life despite the inevitability of death, and how spirituality can provide a source of comfort and solace in times of crisis. We also delve into the topic of religious trauma, discussing how to navigate the pain and confusion that can arise from experiences of spiritual abuse or trauma. Join us as we offer practical tips and tools for managing existential dread, death anxiety, and religious trauma, and discover how to live a more fulfilling and purposeful life.Recommended resources:Movie: “A Ghost Story” (2017)Book on the tarot that jump-started my spirituality journey: “Fearless Tarot” by Elliot AdamEpisode of the podcast where I interview Elliot AdamInspiring talk on the 13th century poet & Sufi mystic RumiTalk on St. Teresa of Avila’s Life & Teaching on SurrenderUnderstanding the Dark Night of the Soul & Spiritual Desolation of St. John of the CrossTalk on The Centering Prayer Meditation from the Festival of FaithsThe Noble Journey from Fear to Fearlessness with Pema ChödrönHo'oponopono Mantra for Healing Everything with Dr. Kim D'eramoCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, you’ll join my dog Cody and me for a walk in the witchy woods while I break in my new Dr. Marten boots. On our walk, I’ll explain why a book about self-compassion made me incredibly furious this week. After that, I’ll tell you why my spirit mother archetype is a mixture of RuPaul and Grandmother Willow from the 1995 Pocahontas movie. Recommended resources:■ Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristen Neff■ The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo■ We Can Do Hard Things podcast with Glennon Doyle Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you experience intense mood swings, anxiety, or depression around your period, you’re not alone. In this episode, we’re diving deep into the effects of PMS, PMDD, and hormonal birth control on our mental and emotional health, exploring how these cycles shape our mood and well-being. Recently, I discovered the practice of Menstrual Cycle Awareness (MCA) through the work of Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, founders of RedSchool. This framework, which sees the menstrual cycle as a series of inner “seasons,” has been a game-changer in helping me navigate emotional waves and manage severe premenstrual symptoms—including those intense enough to qualify for PMDD.Together, we’ll unpack how period stigma has shaped our understanding of menstrual health, often leaving out crucial insights that can help us reclaim a sense of control. You’ll learn about the four distinct phases of the menstrual cycle and how becoming attuned to these natural rhythms can support emotional regulation. We’ll also explore the impact of hormonal birth control on mood, examining how it can sometimes exacerbate symptoms of emotional dysregulation.Additional topics include:The difference between PMS and PMDD, and whether premenstrual symptoms should be considered a mental disorderCultural attitudes and rites around menstruation from around the worldPractical steps to begin practicing MCA for improved mental health and well-beingThe potential benefits of seed cycling for managing mood swings tied to the menstrual cycleThis episode is a guide to understanding the power of the menstrual cycle—a power many of our mothers and grandmothers didn’t have the chance to share with us. Whether you’re struggling with intense symptoms or simply curious about a new approach to emotional regulation, this conversation offers valuable insights for reconnecting with your body and finding greater balance.Recommended resources:■ Flo Period Tracking app (I use the free version)■ Think Dirty Shop Clean App■ Wild Power (book that explains MCA and the inner seasons)■ Blog article by Rising Woman that breaks down the inner seasons one by oneCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Alessia Camoirano Bruges is an Italian-Colombian artist based in London. Her unique “fluid art” is inspired by its ever-changing nature – just like humans and our emotions. She combines her passion for color psychology, color therapy, fluidity, and her emotional intensity into her artwork. She sees each piece as a cathartic experience in which she can connect to her inner child and relaxed into fully embodied presence & mindfulness. In this episode, we discuss Alessia's battle with her eating disorder and her struggle with emotional dysregulation & chronic pain that led her to her personal rock bottom moment where she realized *she* was the common denominator in her chaotic life. We also discuss how she bravely decided reach out for help and found healing through DBT and EMDR and how this allowed her to begin channeling her big emotions into creative projects, which resulted in her artwork being published in massive publications and getting hired as a documentary filmmaker for Vice.Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:■ Alessia’s experience growing up as an “emotionally intense” child (often being told she was “too much”)■ How to learn to embrace your emotional intensity as an inherent strength and creative tool■ Mollie & Alessia discuss their shared struggled with oversharing■ Getting “the ick” (the sudden desire to rid ourselves of romantic partners or friendships)■ Alessia’s experience trying to repress her eating disorder/depression with extreme fandom■ Suffering in silence with “high-functioning” mental health issues (eating disorders, depression, BPD)■ Alessia’s personal battle with chronic pain■ How Alessia finally found a therapist that was a good match for her who took a holistic approach to treatment (treated her as person, not a disorder)■ Alessia’s struggles with emotional flashbacks (and how EMDR therapy helped her with this)■ How painting has become her most effective therapeutic method■ Alessia’s early childhood intuitive relationship with color that grew into a passion for color psychology■ Alessia’s struggle with imposter syndrome even after the critical acclaim and success of her artwork■ Her experience getting hired to work for Vice and creating documentariesCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Reflecting on the Euphoria character "Cassie," Evan Rachel Wood's new documentary "Phoenix Rising" (about her alleged struggle with domestic violence, grooming, and sexual assault at the hands of singer Marilyn Manson), and recent events with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West inspired me to sit down and reflect on my own chaotic experiences with grooming, domestic violence and sexual assault throughout my teens and twenties. I realized that the thread that connected all of the chaos was an underlying disconnection from my intuition or "gut feeling." In this episode, we discuss how to reconnect to our sense of inner knowing and how to move forward and heal from toxic connections that we previously thought were love but weren't. Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:■ Warning signs you've lost touch with your intuition (and how this often happens in childhood)■ How I learned to overcome my obsession with seeking male validation■ Sexual grooming (recognizing the signs and my personal experiences)■ How I learned that rape isn’t black and white ■ Rebound relationships & domestic violence (rushing into things too soon before knowing the person)■ My experience meeting my current partner and understanding that true love is “friendship first” (finally finding safety in a relationship)■ Strategies on tapping into our intuition when we’ve lost a connection with it (practical exercises from Martha Beck)Recommended resources:Phoenix Rising Documentary with Evan Rachel WoodThe Gathering Room Podcast5 Steps for Tapping Into Your Intuition (Article by Martha Beck)“Trip Down Intuitive Memory Lane” Exercise (Lesson 3)Intuitive Scoring (Lesson 4)Intuition Conversation with Non Dominant Hand (Lesson 5)  Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In my most vulnerable and powerful episode yet, I’m opening up about the hardest, yet most transformative lessons I’ve learned on my recovery journey. Healing from complex trauma and traits of borderline personality can be a painful and isolating path, but I want you to know that hope is real—and by the end of this episode, I hope you’ll feel it too. I’m sharing these insights in the way I wish a friend could have shared them with me, and if you’re here, chances are these words are meant for you. We’ll explore the challenges and breakthroughs in friendships and intimate relationships, uncovering what it means to truly set boundaries and deepen connections. I’ll discuss the role of spirituality, social media, and the importance of reconnecting with our bodies as part of reclaiming our true selves. Together, we’ll reflect on what it means to live authentically, releasing the need to perform or obsess over appearances. In a special segment, we’ll draw on the tarot card The Tower and the story of Maid Maleen to illuminate how collapse and change can lead to profound rebirth and strength. This episode is for anyone in need of guidance, hope, and the reminder that, even in the darkest times, transformation is possible. Recommended resources:Yoga With AdrienneShaking to release stress and traumaVagus nerve reset exercise with Sukie BaxterCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Nicole LePera, known to millions as The Holistic Psychologist, to explore the nature of love, intimacy, and authentic connection. Before her rise to nearly 5 million followers on Instagram, Nicole was a clinical psychologist grappling with the limitations of traditional mental health care—a system that often reduces symptoms to lifelong labels. Through her extensive research into trauma, epigenetics, and conscious awareness, Nicole began to challenge conventional teachings and embrace a more holistic approach to healing. Her bestselling book, How to Do the Work, sparked a movement, and her upcoming work promises to dive even deeper into creating “heart-based, authentically connected relationships.”Together, we unpack the deeper roots of our relationship struggles, exploring why so many of us feel trapped in cycles of dysfunctional patterns. Nicole shares insights on how unresolved fears—like a fear of silence, death, and change—can prevent us from forming genuine, intimate bonds. We delve into the ways in which childhood survival mechanisms, developed to keep us safe, often morph into self-sabotaging behaviors that hinder our attempts at love and connection in adulthood.In this conversation, Nicole also addresses:Why treating mental health symptoms without addressing their roots can leave us feeling stuckThe concept of “love” as a universal human need and how it shapes our early development and relationshipsHow feelings of unworthiness show up in parent-child dynamics and continue in our adult romantic livesThe importance of grieving relationship endings fully, rather than rushing to move onHow boundaries and space can deepen the bonds we share with othersIf you’ve ever wondered why certain patterns seem to repeat in your relationships or how to break free from self-sabotage in love, this episode offers transformative insights. Join us as we dive into the psychology of connection and discover how to cultivate relationships that feel truly heart-centered and whole. Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we dive into the transformative power of self-inquiry—a practice that can illuminate our deepest blind spots and help us navigate the chronic feelings of emptiness and identity struggles often experienced by those who identify with traits of BPD, cPTSD, or complex trauma. Not knowing who we are can be a frightening and isolating experience, but self-inquiry offers a path to reconnect with our authentic selves and cultivate a grounded sense of identity. We’ll begin by exploring what self-inquiry truly is, drawing on techniques from Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO DBT), and discuss how it can reveal patterns of thought and behavior that sabotage our ability to connect with ourselves and others. By finding our “edge” within the window of tolerance, we can start to understand and expand our emotional resilience, staying present even in challenging moments.In this episode, we’ll also cover:Practical steps for uncovering your personal blind spotsCore principles of self-inquiry that bring clarity and insightThe concept of “outing ourselves,” or sharing the self-understandings we uncover with others as a path to deeper connectionHow self-inquiry intersects with spirituality and personal growth, and what symbolism in tarot’s “The Hermit” card can teach us about solitude and self-reflectionJournaling prompts designed to guide you into meaningful self-inquiry and help you start your journey of self-discoveryWhether you’re struggling with self-identity or simply curious about the practice, this episode provides actionable insights to help you cultivate self-awareness and move toward a more grounded, connected life. Join me as we take the first steps on the journey inward, creating space for healing, authenticity, and lasting transformation.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I sit down with Toronto-based video essayist, artist, and philosopher CJ THE X, whose creative force extends far beyond YouTube. Known for channeling explosive emotions into music and art, CJ shares his journey through the ups and downs of living with BPD and how he’s worked to escape the mental traps that once held him captive.We explore how CJ’s imaginative childhood eventually clashed with the demands of the “real world” as a teenager, leading him to confront his BPD diagnosis, struggles with self-destructive behaviors, and experiences with inpatient psychiatric care. Despite being labeled “high functioning,” CJ found himself dismissed by mental health professionals, leaving him to face the weight of chronic emptiness, intense shame, and fear of abandonment on his own. In this conversation, CJ opens up about the self-sabotaging beliefs that kept him feeling stuck and how DBT therapy became his lifeline, providing the skills and tools to build a life of resilience and purpose. He describes the powerful impact of his “Favorite Person” relationships, the challenge of finding ways to cope with distress, and the importance of navigating emotions without judgment. By thinking dialectically, CJ has found a way to balance opposing feelings, using them as fuel for his art and creative path.This episode is a testament to the power of art and community in the healing journey. CJ reflects on how transforming emotions into music and giving back to others has enriched his life, showing that creativity can be a profound source of strength, insight, and connection. Join us as we dive into CJ’s inspiring journey from despair to empowerment and the tools he’s gained to manage life as a self-employed artist forging his own path. Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Many people who are asked to identify their “true self” (apart from their specific beliefs and behaviors) draw a complete blank. This sense of shame-spiraling after being asked to talk coherently about our sense of identity is even more pronounced for those of us who identify with symptoms and traits of various mental health "disorder" or "dysfunction" labels. Being true to yourself requires that your whole Self be “whole” – or “integrated.” In this episode, we’ll dive into how much of what makes our lives miserable (people-pleasing, staying in toxic relationships, self-sabotaging behaviors, and coping styles) is because we are out of touch with what makes us feel whole. In these moments, our defensive emotions and reactive impulses overrule our Higher Selves. In these moments, we are living out of integrity.Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:■ Why practical skills and therapy might feel like they’re not “working” if you’re living out of integrity■ How and why we compromise our integrity■ How the word ‘integrity’ is intimately related to the psychological concept of ‘integration’■ History of internal family systems therapy and how it relates to the concepts of integrity and integration■ Understanding how our different “parts” try their best to protect us from psychological/emotional pain but end instead causing mental health problems and compulsive/maladaptive behaviors■ Understanding and accepting our caretakers as flawed humans who were disconnected from their “inner conductors” and letting their disowned parts rule the show■ How we externalize old feelings of inadequacy, abandonment and worthlessness and project them onto our partners and friends in adulthood Recommended and referenced resources:Book - The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to You True Self by Martha BeckArticle - How & Why You Compromise Your IntegrityCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.